REWRITING HISTORY ONE FACT AT A TIME # 3

 

If there is one thing that irritates me more than any other, it has to be historical inaccuracies in film and TV scripts.

Now I’m not talking about things like Braveheart or The Battle of the Bulge or countless other attempts’ by the Americans to rewrite history.

No, the things that irritate me are the little things, the small easy to verify things, the things that they just can’t be bothered to do right.

 

For example, take The 2006 movie “the Holiday” with Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Jack Black and Eli Wallach, which. I particularly liked.

It has all the ingredients required for a great Christmas film, engaging characters, humour, pathos, romance, cute kids and a happy ending, or in this case a multiple happy ending.

That aside the Grinch in me won’t forgive the unpardonable sin of a glaring error and a failure to research correctly.

Eli Wallach’s character, Arthur, asks Iris played by Kate Winslet

“What part of England are you from?”

To which she replies “Surrey”

“Cary Grant was from Surrey” Arthur says

“That’s right he was” Iris confirms

No, he bloody wasn’t from Surrey he was from Bristol.

How did they not get that right, why did they not check a simple fact like that?

If they wanted to keep the Cary Grant reference, Iris could have answered Arthur’s question.

“What part of England are you from?”

By saying, “Bristol”

Or if they wanted her to be from Surrey, why didn’t they pick another internationally known actor from Surrey such as Bill Nighy, Colin Firth, Edward Woodward, Julia Ormond, Julie Andrews, Laurence Olivier, Peggy Ashcroft, Peter Cushing or Ronald Colman.

How simple would that have been “Laurence Olivier was from Surrey” Arthur could have said, but no they had to ruin an otherwise perfectly good film.

DO IT ON THE SIDE

 

Simon the landscape gardening man

Will turn his hand to what he can

So not just gardens attract his attention

Its not just horticultural dedication

It’s to the wives of clients he is drawn

As he tends to garden and to lawn

And when he’s finished laying the patios

He lays the clients wife before he goes

CATERING FOR EVERYONE

 

The funeral directors

Have an annual dinner dance

You should go some time

If you get the chance

The foods not up to much

Considering it cost a packet

The strangest dish however

Is “Chicken in a Casket”

WHAT WERE YOU DOING?

 

People of a certain generation

Older than baby boomers anyway

Know exactly what they were doing

The day Oswald assassinated JFK

 

I have no inkling what I was doing

I was only seven years old you see

I would definitely know however

Had they assassinated Mr Pastry

 

I do know what I was doing exactly

When first I heard Bohemian Rhapsody

I remember like it was yesterday

And who I did it with on her settee

INFINITE TIME

 

Time itself is infinite

So infinite as to be immeasurable

By time itself

Our own time, upon our earth

A lifetime is so short

A life’s time passes in an instant

So quickly

It would fail to register

As the merest twitch

Of the sweep hand

On the mighty time piece

The great universal clock

IN THESE TRYING TIMES

 

In these trying times

Innovation is required

To make the most

Of any opportunities 

Like a pop-up restaurant

Which sells toast

WHATS IN A NAME (17)

 

Does anyone think is Tom Good?

Did anyone else think Natalie Wood?

Does anyone know was Lionel Blue?

Did anyone know if Nancy Drew?

MEAL DEAL

 

The kids have a happy meal

When we go to McDonalds

Why don’t they extend the range?

To meet demands at Ronald’s

As we’re not always happy

Hysterical or even jolly

What about manic-depressives

And the sad and the melancholy

Instead of a plastic toy

Perhaps a more practical addition

With every melancholy meal

A pot of Valium or Mogadon

ONE BORN EVERY DAY

To make something foolproof

Is an impossibility

Because fools never fail to show

Such ingenuity

SEXUAL DUTY

 

Don’t think of sex

As purely being dutiful

When the lights are out

All women are beautiful

REWRITING HISTORY ONE FACT AT A TIME # 2

 

If there is one thing that irritates me more than any other, it has to be historical inaccuracies in film and TV scripts.

Now I’m not talking about things like Braveheart or The Battle of the Bulge or countless other attempts’ by the Americans to rewrite history.

No, the things that irritate me are the little things, the small easy to verify things, the things that they just can’t be bothered to do right.

 

For example, in the American hit TV series NCIS there is a character, Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo played by Michael Weatherly, who, apart from being a special agent also considers himself to be a bit of film buff.

DiNozzo is constantly either quoting from movies or is making endless film references to accompany any given situation he is in or indeed crime scene he is at.

In one episode he is drawing a parallel between his own situation and that of the characters in the 1938 classic “Angels with Dirty Faces” with James Cagney, Pat O'Brien and Humphrey Bogart.

And the afore mentioned parallel would have been quite apt, had he not made a serious faux pas, well I think it was serious.

He referenced to the fact that Rocky Sullivan and Jerry Connolly grew up as tough kids in Hell's Kitchen, the toughest part of New York, and their destinies were set when Rocky got sent to reform school and Jerry escaped the law and went on to becomes a priest.

So far so good, but where DiNozzo went wrong was to say that the Father Connolly character was played by Bogey (Humphrey Bogart), who was in the film, when he was in fact played by Pat O'Brien.

Quite unforgivable when DiNozzo is supposed to be an aficionado of film.

THE PRICE OF PROSTHETIC LIMBS

 

The price of prosthetic limbs,

Unless you opt for the peg,

Is absolutely astronomical,

They cost an arm and a leg

SCATTERED TO SHATTERED

 

My youthful wild oats

From way back when

Have now become

A bowl of Alpen

NO FAIR

 

Life is indeed grossly unfair

Now I’m older and still have my wits

I’ve finally got me head together

And my body is now falling to bits

LOOKING PUZZLED

 

I am puzzled most

By things that don’t fit

Such as “if all is not lost”

Then where the hell is it

TESTING

 

I awake to hear

The tell-tale clink

Of a Pyrex jug

Hitting the bathroom sink

The tell-tale sound

Of Pyrex on porcelain

Means only one thing

She’s pregnant again

RHYME AND PUNISHMENT

 

I like to write an ode or rhyme

It’s a fun way to pass the time

After many years of composition

I have come to this conclusion

The hardest part of the whole process

And the least enjoyable I must confess

Unless of course you pay a mint

Is to get the bloody stuff in print

ACCIDENTS HAPPEN

 

Kids messing about in the backs of cars

Can sometimes cause accidents to happen

While accidents in the backs of cars

Almost always cause kids to happen

FADS

 

New music bands

Come onto the scene

With monotonous regularity

Each new crop

Compensating for lack of talent

Choose the names bizarrely

This has always

Been accepted

And just adds to the monotony

Names like

The nit nurses and vaginal bleed

Just humour them accordingly

REWRITING HISTORY ONE FACT AT A TIME # 1

 

If there is one thing that irritates me more than any other, it has to be historical inaccuracies in film and TV scripts.

Now I’m not talking about things like Braveheart or The Battle of the Bulge or countless other attempts’ by the Americans to rewrite history.

No, the things that irritate me are the little things, the small easy to verify things, the things that they just can’t be bothered to do right.

 

For example, there was an American sci-fi series in the 90’s called “Babylon 5” which I much enjoyed, and if truth be told I liked it more than the Star Trek equivalent of “Deep Space 9”.

However, in one episode, “Comes The Inquisitor”, there was a character called Sebastian, who it transpired as the story unfolded was in reality Jack the Ripper.

When his true identity came to light during the story it was announced that in the late 1800’s Jack the Ripper plagued London’s West End.

No! No! No! Jack the Ripper did not stalk the theatre district he was too busy amusing himself killing prostitutes in the East End.

It was a simple mistake that just shouldn’t have happened, but it did and there really is no excuse for it this day and age when research is such a simple matter.

I find it difficult to comprehend that such a basic error made it to the airing.

Surely one of the writing team or production staff or even one of the cast would have asked “Are you sure it was the West End?” but apparently not.

 

Last Christmas my wife bought me the boxed set and when we were watching the relevant episode, we both braced ourselves for the fateful moment and then laughed when we discovered it had been rather amateurishly dubbed.     

DREAM EXISTENCE

 

We stumble through this life

Enduring disappointments

Unhappiness or misery

And our only defense against life

Are our dreams

Dreams of infinite possibilities

Happiness, joy

Being fulfilled

Having the perfect partner

The perfect family

The perfect life

But what if

Life is itself just a dream

And our dreams

Glimpses of our own realities

WHATS IN A NAME (15)

 Does anyone know was Phil Cool?

Does anyone know did Gordon Rule?

Does anyone know is Barry White?

Did anyone think was Steve Wright?

TO ALL THOSE WHITE PEOPLE

 

To all those white people, apologizing

For the times that have gone before

I just suggest you speak for yourselves

As I’ve done nothing to apologize for

YES PRIME MINISTER

 

With all the power that resides

In the musty chambers of Westminster

Whether MPs be young or old

Married or single bachelor or spinster

At exalted levels they become devils

And are less minister than sinister

RAP TRAP

Wearing baggy pants and baseball cap

Rap Rap Rappers doing Rap Crap

Strutting on stage with tuneless rhyme

Ten a penny boys’ nickel and dime

Gangster rapper’s handgun crime

Hip Hop Hoppers new craze grime

Spitting in the mike while they strut about

This ain’t music there’s no doubt

Beat the drum ring the bell

Hip Hop Flop the musical hell 

DOCTOR LARDY

 

They used to call us fatty

Chunky or sometimes tubby

Euphemisms like sumo

Alternatively, maybe chubby

However Political correctness

Has demanded that this must cease

So now the doctors just call us

All Clinically obese

NIP AND TUCK

 

Some people seek perfection

Something’s offend their vanity

Which leads them to decide

On bouts of cosmetic surgery

 

Breast enlargements, tummy tucks

Rhinoplasty implants and grafts

New procedures all the time

Techniques to test the surgeon craft

 

I don’t hold with it myself

It’s something I have always felt

Never mess with Mother Nature

And play the hand you are dealt

HALF AND HALF

 At the pub in the good old days

You could save a penny or two

By selecting the cheaper option

A pint of half and half would do

But in order to save your pennies

The desperate price you had to pay

Was that half came out of the pump

The rest came from the drip tray

PERVERTED PETE

 

Perverted Pete during a heat wave

While armed with a handheld fan

Would converse with all the girls

For Pete was that kind of a man

Whilst he engaged in conversation

Casually without being detected

He would aim the fan at her breasts

Until both of her nipples erected

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – VIVACIOUS LADY (1938)

 

“Vivacious Lady” is a Romantic Comedy, Screenplay by P.J. Wolfson and Ernest Pagano from a Story by I.A.R. Wylie and Directed by George Stevens.

The story begins when young University Professor Peter Morgan (James Stewart) makes a quick trip to the city to escort his cousin Keith Morgan (James Ellison) back to their hometown of Old Sharon.

He finds Keith at a nightclub which he regularly frequents as he is besotted with nightclub performer Francey Brent (Ginger Rogers), however when Peter meets Francey he falls head over heels in love with her and they marry after a whirlwind romance.

But when he goes back home, he has to pick his moment to tell his conservative, ultra-respectable parents Peter Morgan, Sr. (Charles Coburn) and Martha Morgan (Beulah Bondi).

It's a very enjoyable movie with a typically engaging performance by Rogers and a typically amiable one by Stewart and Willie Best as the Train Porter is delightful.

LUVVIE

 

“Break a leg darling”

Old thespians cry

As they tread the boards

And in fear of a mythical curse

Talk of the “Scottish play”

Off stage

They bore one and all

With quotes of the bard

And shamelessly drop names

Whilst imparting anecdotes

And listing credits long past

WHATS IN A NAME (14)

 

Does anyone think is Oliver Hardy?

Does anyone know is Richard Tardy?

Did anyone watch as John Wells?

Does anyone know if Chris Sells?

BLIND TO RACE

 

As a white man with decent values

I am blind to race and colour it’s safe to say

Though not because I don’t care

Rather it’s because I don't judge others that way

SOAK AWAY

 

Candle’s scented flames

Set the tone

For a relaxing soak

In a stress-free zone

 

In chin high water

Containing oils and bubbles

Aromatic and Exotic

Soaking away life’s troubles

 

Shelves piled high

With new age potions

Aromatherapy oils

And various creams and lotions

 

Such is the way

For girls like my daughter

Fragrantly soaking

In the deep foaming water

 

When I was young

Choices were limited frankly

To Radox crystals

And a bottle of Matey

PARTYING OR CLUBBING

 

Saturday night on the town

Either partying or clubbing

The object to get someone into bed

Some sights turn you on

Some just turn your stomach

While others turn your head

 

Long legged fillies

With a skirt so short

It’s little more than a belt

Loose gaping blouses

And breasts unrestrained

Looking like they’ve just been felt

 

When alcohol takes over

People are then attracted

To all that comes into view

The good looking and the fit

Say they never bed an ugly partner

But they wake up with a few

 

Each long slender beauty

Has a man on her arm

Or a short dumpy friend

As alcohol slowly takes its toll

It’s the short dumpy bird

Gets the bloke in the end

STATUS SYMBOL

 

Celebs with ideograms

Tattooed into flesh

When quizzed

About their meanings

“It’s the symbol for”

They claim

“Serenity”, “Harmony”

Or “Tranquillity”

The true meanings are much clearer

And not wise or sagely

The symbols really mean

“Gullible foreigner”

They should be called idiot grams

TIME TO GO

The second hand

Sweeps, rhythmically

Second by second

Jerking, another

Clicking, ticking

Another second

Then another and another

Sweeping inexorably

Unseen to its destiny

 

The minute hand

Clicks on in its turn

Minute by minute

Jerking, another

Clicking, ticking

Another minute

Then another and another

Clicking inexorably

Unseen to its destiny

 

The hands move

Not faltering

Sixty seconds

The minute hand moves

Sixty seconds more

Another minute passes

Then another and another

Ticking inexorably

Towards detonation

PUZZLED

 

You are 13 down

And always 2 across

You are never 1 down

And sadly not 19 across

You are six letters

Starting with a T

You are coffee time

And an acrostic too

As well as cryptic

Let’s try 11 down

Followed by three across

Which is what the canines do

You to be 7 down

I have never known

A dictionary won’t help me

Nor a thesaurus

For like most women

You are an unsolved puzzle

THE PORT OF CUBAN SPRITES

 

The port of Cuban sprites

Is I agree

A nonsensical phase

Meaningless and just plain daft

But its is still more credible

And makes more sense

Than some judgements

Reached by

The court of human rights

YORKSHIRE DINOSAUR

A dinosaur footprint, found in Yorkshire,

Is causing something of a fuss,

Having belonged to a real Jurassic giant

Called the Eckythumposaurus

THE ABERGELE ROADS

At dusk we walk slowly by the shoreline

The waves lapping at the sand break gently

While children play among the craggy rock pools

Or happily skimming stones on the sea

Dogs chase balls as we stand to consider,

The tide is it in, or out, no matter

The setting sun lights up the western sky

Illuminating stray clouds with gold strands

Then surrounding them with bright bursting rays

This sunburst silhouettes the beachcombers

Then blinds us all as it hits the wet sand

As quickly as it burst on us it was gone

Until we are blinded by the next one

Before the horizon swallows the sun

WHATS IN A NAME (2)

 

Does anyone know is Jonathon Swift?

Does anyone know can Oliver Twist?

Does anyone listen to James Whale?

Did anyone else see Alexi Sayle?

FOREIGN JOHNNY’S # 3

 

Feeling superior to Johnny foreigner

Is not balderdash

As I don’t wake to find my garden

Covered in volcanic ash

MARK ME ANTHONY

Fiends, rascals, rapscallions

Tell me your fears

I, ever a busy geezer, try to raise them

KEEPING ABREAST

 

If a fraction of the effort that went into

Research of women’s breasts and their bras

Had instead gone into exploration

Of space, the galaxy, and the stars

We would today be operating

Burger joints on the moon and mars

AMAZING ANAGRAMS # 6

 

Anagrams can amuse this can easily be confirmed

President Clinton of the USA to copulate, he finds interns

William Shakespeare

I am a weakish speller

He's like a lamp, I swear

William Shakespeare

Fir cone Conifer

Doctrinairism Discriminator

Down this hole, frightened The End of the World is nigh!

Is this meant as incentive?  A stitch in time saves nine

EYES (CINQUAIN)

 

Eyes

Telling, Knowing

Winking, Gazing, Spying

Windows Of The Soul

Eyes

LOST SOULS

 

The selfish

Self-deluding

Act of release

At the end

The point of serenity

Marking an end

And a beginning

For the one

Peace

A perfect painless peace

An end of heart ache

Physical pain

Emotional sorrow

Loneliness perhaps

For those remaining

Pain begins

Picking up threads

Of a self-extinguished life

Tying loose ends

Cleaning up the mess

Hating them

While mourning them

Loving them

While despising them

Coming to terms

With the loss

DAME THORA HIRD

 

It was on the news that I heard

About the loss of dame Thora Hird

She died at the age of ninety-one

She always reminded me of my mum

I will really miss dear Thora Hird

She was ordinary, yes that’s the word

Thora Hird was down to earth I’d say

The lass who came from Morecambe bay

She trod the boards since a babe in arms

But no pomposity was one of her charms

With a glint in her eye, she would say

In that warm and conspiratorial way

The best thing to come out of Yorkshire

Was the road to her beloved Lancashire

SPLITTING UP

 

In Norwich at my local pub, I sat

After a pint and a couple of gins

And contemplated relationships

With my muckers for their sins

“I’m divorcing my sweetheart

And soul mate” I tell my friends

“There will be no animosity” I add

“And we will always stay cousins”

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER (1957)

 

“An Affair to Remember” is a classic romantic drama Directed and written by Leo McCarey.

A French playboy Nickie Ferrante (Cary Grant) full of continental charm and an American, former nightclub singer, Terry McKay (Deborah Kerr) meet aboard a ship.

She sees him as just another playboy and he sees her as stand-offish, but inevitably they fall in love.

After visiting his Grandmother (Cathleen Nesbitt) on the island of Madeira he planned to travel to New York to marry a rich heiress, which has been well publicized, as have his many antics and affairs, and Terry was returning home to her long-time boyfriend Kenneth Bradley (Richard Denning).

However on the crossing their plans change, but he has a poor track record relationship wise and no history of working for a living so in order to give him the chance to earn an honest living and prove himself, which would also give them time to deal with their current relationships.

So, they agree to distance themselves but arrange to reunite six months later on top of the Empire State building.

In the meantime, he returns to painting and is reasonably successful at it and she becomes a music teacher.

On the agreed date, Nickie is waiting patiently for Terry, who is racing to join him however fate intervenes resulting in misunderstanding and heartbreak and only fate can correct its intervention to save their relationship.

WHATS IN A NAME (1)

Does anyone know does Robin Cook?

Did anyone see what Barry Took?

Does anyone listen to John Peel?

Did anyone else see David Steel?

SHAKESPEARE HAS LEFT THE BUILDING, ANTHONY

What Elvis Presley did lives after him

The king is now interred with his tones

So let it be from Caesar’s

In notorious Vegas

Were Elvis the king was tremendous

HAMLET’S ANAGRAM – TO BE OR NOT TO BE # 1

In one of the Bard's

Best thought of tragedies

Our insistent hero

Hamlet

Queries on two fronts

About how life turns rotten

FOREIGN JOHNNY’S # 4

It’s really great not to be

A Johnny foreigner

Because driving on

British roads I will never

Need to avoid potholes

That are

Big enough to hide

A double decker

RACISTS (CINQUAIN)

Racists

Black, White

Envying, Lying, Hating,

The Cancer Of Humanity

Racists

WIGGLY WORMS AND CURLY WHIRLY’S

My face has been washed clean

And my hairs the best it’s been

I must smile and must not fidget

That photographers such a twit

So, when he asks me where’s the birdie

I will frown and look quite surly

DON’T TAKE A FENCE

 

My uncle John the fence died

When I heard I felt quite sorry

It was poetic justice though

As he fell off the back of a lorry

THE THIRTEENTH SIGN

 

The thirteenth sign

Of the Zodiac year

Is Pyrex

And its symbol is crystal clear

It covers all twelve months,

Not one only

But to qualify

You have to be a test tube baby

THE GREAT LIES OF LIFE

 

No, your bum does not look big

Money isn't everything

How funny, I was just going to call you

It's great to be a Negro

I'm only going to put it in a little way

I've never done this before

They’ll ride up with wear

The cheques in the mail

Anticipation is half the fun

This will hurt me more than it hurts you

I’ll only put it in a tiny little way

I promise I won't finish in you

“This won't hurt, I promise.”

SOD IT

 

So, if several things can go wrong, the one that cause’s the most damage will be the one

Of course, if there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then

Doubtless left to themselves things will definitely go from bad to worse

If there are four ways in which it can go wrong an unprepared for fifth way will occur

Times when all seems to be going well occur when you have overlooked something

WHATS IN A NAME (3)

Did anyone else hear Willy Russell?

Did anyone else see Darcy Bussle?

Does anyone think will John Thaw?

Does anyone know is Sandie Shaw?

ONCE MORE HENRY

 

Once more onto the beach

Dear ones by the shore   

Or sit on the wall or deck chair or sun bed

OXYMORA MORE

 

Childproof, Australian Culture

Duty Free, Act Naturally

Free Trade, Airline Food

Good Grief, Almost Exactly

Pop Culture, Resident Alien

Government Organization

Found Missing Silent Scream

Legally Drunk British Fashion

Happily Married, Men At Work

Sweet Sorrow, Business Ethics

Soft Rock, Foggy Clearing

Small Crowd, New Classic

EURO TRASH # 3

 

It’s really great not

Being a foreigner

As my countrymen

Don’t wear hats with a feather

CARS (CINQUAIN)

Cars

Shiny, Purring

Racing, Rushing, Crashing

Still Better Than Trains

Cars

GETTING OLD

There are signs of getting old

That are enough to flip your lids

For example, the page three girls

Are all younger than your kids

ART ABLAZE

When the blaze struck

That warehouse in Leyton

Works of Brit art were lost

By Hirst and Emin

A fifty million collection

Belonging to Charles Saatchi

What a dreadful shame

That the warehouse was half empty

STAND IN’S

Dildos and soybeans

Have in common

The fact they are both used

As a meat substitution

TEX MEX RING DING

My blonde girlfriends

Are really silly

They think Taco Bell

Is the Mexican Phone Company

ITS OFFICIAL, I’M AN OLD MAN

 

I was sitting in my car, which was parked in a side road behind the church where I was waiting for my wife.

It was a “no through road” and its primary function was as an access road to the shops and its double yellow lines were designed to deter men from waiting for their wives but at six o’clock in the evening we were there in numbers without fear of causing an obstruction.

It was a warm late afternoon/early evening in June and the bright sun beat down on the car and subsequently we were all sat with our windows down to benefit from the light breeze.

I was leant back in my seat. Eyes closed against the sun, listening to the world cup chatter on the radio when I heard a car horn.

This was not an uncommon occurrence, there was always someone honking for something, I myself was no stranger to the use of the horn, so I didn’t open my eyes and continued to listen to the radio.

Then came a prolonged blast which did open my eyes and caused me to turn to see where it was coming from.

I had to crane my neck to see the source of the noise which was behind me and to the right.

A woman in a large salon car who was trying to exit a car park was waving her hand in an exaggerated gesture which I took to mean “can you move the car back”

I arrived at this interpretation mainly because she shouted rather forcefully out of her open window.

“Move back, move back”.

Despite the fact I was not level with the entrance nor was I blocking it in anyway and had she got her positioning right she would have made the maneuver effortlessly,

I pointed out to her quite politely that she was only driving a saloon car and not a tank, but this fell on deaf ears, so she repeated her demand.

“Move back, move back”

I acceded to her request and reversed back out of harm’s way but as she was making the turn she stopped and shouted to me through the passenger window.

I was expecting a thank you but instead she shouted in a voice somewhere between Caroline Langrishe and Margot Ledbetter.

“If I didn’t have my daughter in the car I would have something to say to you, you silly old man”

I was so taken by the superciliousness of her comment that I laughed.

This was not the response she was expecting which seemed to fluster her and she missed her gear.

“Are you not even a little bit embarrassed that you can’t maneuver yourself out of a car park”?

She eventually managed to find first gear and lurched forward but then found herself tight up behind the car that was parked in front of me before I moved.

I couldn’t resist the temptation and leant out of my window.

“Would you like me to ask him to move as well”?

She reversed back quickly then lurched forward again only to find she still couldn’t clear the parked car so she through it into reverse again and quickly shot forward.

To my shame the child in me applauded as did the driver of the car in front.

Then a jeweled hand appeared from the drivers’ window and extended a single digit and from the passenger side a smaller hand appeared and gave a thumbs up.

Then the brake lights came on as she violently braked sharply, at first I thought she was going to engage us in some witty repartee or that she had noticed her daughters’ supportive gesture but no, it was just that she nearly ran down some poor unsuspecting pedestrian.

The driver of the other car and myself exchanged knowing looks and I chuckled to myself and was still chuckling when my wife arrived and got in the car