It was mid-September
when recent divorcee Matthew Charlton moved into Flat 3 of East Cliff Lodge,
overlooking Teardrop Lake.
The view of the lake
from his flat was spectacular, as he stood on his balcony and looked down at
the glassy teardrop shaped lake, he could see at once how the lake got its
name.
It was a calm still
day and the modest body of water, just over two miles long and almost a mile at
its widest point mirrored the surrounding ancient woodland of the Dancingdean
Forest on its surface.
Teardrop Lake was
truly beautiful and it certainly lived up to the hype and the privately owned
woodland surroundings made it both idyllic and peaceful.
He thought as he drank
in the view that he would be very happy there, he couldn’t imagine a more
perfect place to start a new life.
Of course he hadn’t
wanted to start a new life, he quite liked the old one.
Actually, he hadn’t
wanted a divorce, he loved his wife, in fact he still loved his wife, but she
apparently didn’t love him.
Although she claimed
that she did love him, but he wasn’t sure how that worked.
Apparently he was too
enabling, he wasn’t assertive enough, he was too accommodating, and in short he
was too nice.
Whatever the problem
was he didn’t understand it.
So they divorced,
quite amicably for what that was worth and when the house in Roespring was sold
he decided to make a new start, a completely new start at the age of 32 in an
entirely different part of the county.
It was an old friend,
who he’d known from Art School, Danny Pellegrino, who had recommended Teardrop
Lake.
He said he had found
happiness and love there only that summer and couldn’t speak highly enough of
the place.
Shallowfield and the
Dancingdean Forest were a long way from Roespring and his old life, and his old
wife.
Luckily Matt was a
graphic designer by profession and worked from home for the majority of the
time so it didn’t really matter where home was.
It was a miserable wet
day when his brother Owen helped him move in after which he helped him get
completely legless to christen the place.
In fact they both
drank so much they both slept through the arrival of the new tenant in flat 4
the next day.
Emily Waugh was also a
recent divorcee who had moved to
Teardrop for a new
start and it was also on the advice of a friend.
Although because she
had no siblings and as most of her closest friends had sided with her ex over
the divorce, she had to leave the moving in to the professionals.
After which she spent
her first night in the flat drinking alone.
Emily was 27 years old
and diminutive at 4’ 11” with shoulder length brown hair streaked with red and
gold.
Like Matt Charlton she
too worked from home but her profession was editing for a natural history
publisher, although her degree was in biology, she enjoyed her job though.
Matt found that the
only problem with working from home was that it made it very difficult to meet
people but he intended throwing himself headlong into life on the lake and he
felt sure he would soon make new friends, and if he was struggling his friend
Danny could always smooth the way when he returned from Australia at Christmas.
He knew that flat 4
was empty when he moved in but when Owen had left and his hangover had passed
he noticed signs of habitation.
This was confirmed by
Coleman Bowers who worked at the Shallowfield Lodge Hotel as an odd
job/handyman.
But part of his duties
was to take his hotel Skiff around the lake twice a week delivering the mail
and small parcels to the big houses on the lake.
He was a proper
country boy in his late fifties with white receding hair and a matching wiry
beard.
He was also the font
of all knowledge regarding the Lake and its inhabitants.
Coleman told him that the
upstairs neighbours were both away but Flat 4 was occupied by a young single
woman who in Coleman’s view was “a very attractive young-un”
So with 1 and 2 both
away he thought he could at least introduce himself to his fellow newbie in
Flat 4.
Matt grabbed the only
bottle of wine he and Owen didn’t drink and went next door and knocked
purposely on the door.
He offered the bottle
of wine when the door opened and began
“Hi I’m…” but then he
stopped as he took in fully the vision of the woman stood before him to whom he
had just presented a bottle of wine.
The occupant of number
4, was indeed as Coleman described her “a very attractive young-un”
“What the hell are you
doing here?” his ex-wife asked sharply
“I live next door” he
responded
“I can’t believe it”
she said “You followed me here?”
“Oh don’t flatter
yourself Emily” Matt said and turned to walk back to his flat.
“I came here for a new
start” Emily said and followed him
“So did I” he said and
slammed the door
Emily knelt down and
pushed open the letter box and shouted
“Well you’ll have to
move”
He reopened the door
and said slowly and deliberately
“I moved in before
you, so you can move”
Then he snatched the bottle
of wine from her hand and slammed the door again.
“Arghhhhh” she yelled
as she went back to her flat and slammed her door.
He was furious, how
cruel did life have to be.
Well there one thing
was for certain even if he turned out to hate that flat he wasn’t going to move
out before she did.
Emily was equally
angry but also surprised at his forcefulness she thought to herself that if
he’d shown that much gumption when they were married they might well still have
been.
They both concluded
independently that they would have to learn to coexist.
As long as the
situation didn’t interfere with their work they would just have to make the
best of a bad situation.
After a week had
passed and there had been no further confrontation Matt sat down one day and
started reading the local paper, the Shallowfield and Childean Chronicle, it
was fairly typical of its type, but it was quite engrossing.
Especially the
personals, he liked reading them as they made him laugh.
You had to figure out
the shorthand for example, WLTM was would
like to meet, NS was non smoker,
LTR was long term relationship, and
GSOH was good sense of humour.
They weren’t all as
easy to work out, he had to Google OHAC because it sounded a bit exotic, but
disappointingly it meant own house and car.
Once you knew the code
you could decipher the ads.
Sue: was looking for
no strings fun.
Anna: WLTM a man of
any age and at any location.
Maria: was
broadminded.
Sam: was looking for a
discreet man for casual meetings and
Jane: was interested
in Adult fun.
Quite a lot of them
liked to dress up but it wasn’t patently clear what that meant.
He wasn’t sure if they
meant they liked to wear posh frocks or a suit of armour.
He thought they were
ones to give a miss to although he hadn’t read them because he intended to
contact anyone.
That was until he
read:
Pretty Divorcee 25:
Size 12, Loves going out, socializing, Country Walks, Meals out.
Looking for
like-minded man to fall head over heels in love with.
“I like the sound of
you” he said and picked up the phone.
A few days later he
was on his way to meet miss size 12 at a restaurant in Shallowfield called the
Brown Windsor which his go to guy for local info Coleman told him was very
good.
He had a haircut that
morning at Mazzone’s in Childean and then he treated himself to a new shirt and
jacket.
So when he walked into
the Brown Windsor he was looking as good as he possibly could.
With his neatly styled
brown wavy hair, brown twinkling eyes and a well-groomed close cropped beard.
And with a new shirt
and jacket what could possibly go wrong.
Mark Roscoe, the
restaurateur, showed him to the table where a diminutive young woman was seated
with her back to the door.
“I’m sorry if I’m a
little late” he said as Mark delivered him to the table
“That’s o….” she began
It was only at that
moment the he made eye contact with his date.
“You have got to be
kidding me” he said to his ex-wife Emily
She stood up and
glared at him and then made straight for the door and Matt followed
“I take it sir and
madam won’t be dining tonight” Mark said and opened the door.
As soon as they were
on the street she turned on him
“You are determined to
ruin my life” she said
“I’m ruining your
life? Well I like that” he retorted
“How was I to know it
was you, the girl in the ad sounded nice and there was not mention of the fact
she was incurably selfish and emotionally retarded”
Although matt was
short at 5’ 6” he still towered over her 4’ 11”.
But she still managed
to be intimidating.
“You are unbelievable”
she said but he turned and walked away
“Where do you think
you’re going?” she shouted “I haven’t finished with you yet”
Matt turned around
again and faced her.
“I don’t have to
listen to you anymore, we’re divorced remember?” he said and walked away again.
“How could I forget”
she shouted “it was the happiest day of my life”
Matt carried on
walking but stopped briefly and called back over his shoulder.
“By the way, you’re
27”
After the Brown
Windsor altercation he managed to avoid Emily for a few days and then he had to
go to Abbotsford for a few days after that to meet with his agency and a
client.
When he got back he
quickly got showered and changed because he had made a date for a drink at the
Woodcutters Arms at 8 o’clock.
He was there with ten
minutes to spare and sat at the bar and ordered a pint, he sat on a bar stool
and was halfway down his pint when she appeared and as soon as their eyes met
their hearts sank.
“Oh no not again”
Emily said “Will I ever be rid of you?”
She sat on the stool
next to his and he ordered her a drink.
“Large white wine
please” he said to the waiting barman.
He ran through his
mind the ad he had placed in the Chronicle to try and figure out why this kept
happening.
Genuine, reliable,
traditional, sociable NS man 32 WLTM loyal, warm hearted, female for LTR.
The pair sat at the
bar in silence for a few minutes.
“This really can’t go
on like this” she said “you have to move”
“Well I’m not going
to” Matt said
“But I really love it
here” Emily said
“Hang on I love it
here too why should I move?” he asked
“Because you don’t
care where you live” she said “but I do”
“What are you talking
about?” he retorted
“In five years of
marriage you never once expressed a strong opinion on anything, but now you
definitely know you want to live here, you’re just being vindictive” she said
and got up and left.
Her words still rang
in his ears
“In five years of
marriage you never once expressed a strong opinion on anything”
It was true that he
was easy going, but he didn’t see that as a character floor, it was just that
he didn’t care whether they went on holiday to the Greek islands or to Cyprus,
he knew he would enjoy either one.
It was true he had no
strong opinion on the colour of the lounge carpet, the style of sofa or whether
the walls should be papered or painted.
If he’d had a strong
opinion he would have shared it and put her straight.
Choices mattered to
Emily so he let her make them.
On Halloween there was
a big fancy dress party at Forest Lodge, everyone on the Lake was invited, as
well as some from Shallowfield.
Apart from Halloween,
the party was for the host Peter Lutchford, the world renowned film director,
to show off his fiancé Claire to the neighbour’s.
It was the first party
Peter had held at the house since they had got together, the next party he
planned would be for their wedding.
Peter was dressed as
Herman Munster and Claire was his wife Lily and Peter’s actress sister Amanda
Flanders was dressed as a witch which her brother Peter thought was type
casting.
Because Emily was so
small she struggled to get fancy dress costumed so she had the one costume
which fitted her perfectly, a monkey costume, which she would accessorize to
suit the occasion.
For Halloween she
added vampire teeth and a cape and went as a Vampire Monkey.
Matt went to the party
dressed as Satan and he had a great time he even got to dance with Amanda
Flanders before he went into the conservatory to get another drink.
And it was then that
he bumped into Emily again.
“Oh God not you again”
she said “Are you stalking me?”
“Oh lighten up Emily”
he retorted having had just enough to drink to not take her seriously.
“Lighten up? Lighten
up?” she exclaimed all shrill “everywhere I go you’re there”
“Perhaps there’s a
reason for that” he said “maybe the universe is trying to tell us something”
“No its not” she
snapped “it’s not the Gods nor is it fate or providence and any other bloody
superstition, it’s just bad luck”
“I think its
serendipity” he said
“Oh shut up and take
me home” she barked
“No” he replied and
poured himself another drink
“Then call me a cab”
she said
“Call your own bloody
cab” Matt said and laughed
“Charming” she said
“you used to do things for me”
“Yes I did and you
called me a door mat and divorced me so if you need a bloody taxi, call it
yourself” he said
“My father warned me
about you” Emily said coldly
“It’s funny you should
mention your father” He said
“He gave me some great
advice on our wedding day, he said “Emily is my only daughter and I love her
with all my heart, but she can be a selfish little cow, when she was little a
spanked arse did the trick, it might still””
“You wouldn’t dare
raise a hand to me and you’re not man enough to put me across your knee” she
said and laughed in his face and that was the straw that broke the camel’s
back.
He took her by the
wrist and pulled her across his knee.
Peter and Claire
walked into the kitchen laughing and Amanda said
“What’s so funny?”
“We just saw Satan
spanking the monkey in the conservatory” Peter said
“Eww that’s
disgusting” Amanda said
“No, it’s not like
that” Claire said
“There’s a girl in a
monkey suit and she’s being spanked by Satan”
“It still sounds dirty
to me” Amanda said.
With the first slap on
her plump cheek she wriggled and protested
“I should have taken
your fathers advice and done this years ago” he said and gave her another good
spank.
When he had finished
spanking her she had long since finished protesting he stood her up and said
“Now I’ll take you
home”
“Ok” she said meekly,
rubbing her buttock with one hand and holding his hand with the other.
