I HAVE MANY QUESTIONS # 4

 

I have many questions

That are not my Jurisdiction

And I ponder if it’s possible

To have too much moderation

ALL THE WORLD IS A STAGE

 

If it really is true what they say

That all the world is a stage,

And all the men and women

Are merely players on that stage?

Where do all the audiences come from?

To hear the words from the page

THE MATHEMATICIAN PONDERED

 

The mathematician pondered

When he opened the oven door

What the value of pi would be

After being dropped on the floor

A PENNY’S WORTH

 

Apparently “to put your two pennies worth in”

Means that you took your chance to speak

But you only get a “penny for your thoughts”

Which I have always thought a bit of a cheek

I don’t understand the disparity in the values

Why is it cheaper to think than it is to speak?

I LOOK AHEAD OF ME

 

I look ahead of me,

Across the unknown years

And I wonder:

Will I like being old?

Or even like the person

That I will become?

I DON’T WANT TO BE MURDERED

 

I certainly don’t want to be murdered

So, I find myself rather fascinated

Exactly how important do you need to be?

Not to be murdered but to be assassinated

TAKEN AT THE FLOOD

 

As I stand by the placid waters

Watching as the evening sky glows

I ask myself the question

Why didn't Noah kill the two mosquitoes?

MAKING YOUR HAIR CURL

 

Why is it that toasters

Always have a setting

That burns the toast

And therefore blackening

To a horrible crisp

And is unfit for eating?

I LOOK AHEAD OF ME

 

I look ahead of me,

Across the unknown years

And I wonder:

Will I like being old?

Or even like the person

That I will become?

 

LOOKING PUZZLED

 

I am puzzled most

By things that don’t fit

Such as “if all is not lost”

Then where the hell is it

RHETORICAL EYE RESTING

 

There is a rhetorical question

That gives me indigestion

Why is it when we're dog-tired chaps

We take what are called catnaps?

LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE # 12

 

There is a natural law of perversity

You cannot, no matter the necessity

Successfully determine beforehand or ahead

Which side of the bread to buttered or spread

YOU CAN’T WIN

 

If failure is attempted

And the attempt succeeded

Which has been achieved?

RHETORICAL WASTE

 

There is a rhetorical question

That gives me indigestion

Is a factory efficient for its sins?

If it only produces waste bins?

RHETORICAL EMERGENCY

There is a rhetorical question

That gives me indigestion

Is an ambulance driver required? 

To pull over if a siren is heard?

CRISPY CROUTONS

Why do croutons?

Come vacuum sealed

It’s just stale bread

That is concealed

GO BACK

 

Before drawing boards

Were invented

What did they go back to?

When discontented

POTTY TIME

Why do people point to their wrists?

When asking for time checks

But they don't point to their crotch

When they’re busting their necks

WETTY KITTY

 

If you can answer this

I will eat my hat

How can you describe

The smell of a wet cat

WELL OIL BE

 

It says on the label corn oil is made from corn

And vegetable oil is made out of vegetable

But to find the contents of baby oil I am unable