I GOOGLED MY SYMPTOMS

 

I Googled my symptoms

As I had an irritated eye

And found Conjunctivitis.com

That’s a site for sore eyes

ROSES ARE RUSSET

 

Roses are russet,

Violets are Sienna

I guess I must be

Colourblind then

ROSES ARE GREY

 

Roses are grey,

Violets are bleak

I found out I was

Colorblind last week

I BROKE MY GLASSES THE OTHER DAY

 

I broke my glasses the other day

So, I knew what had to be done

But guess who I bumped into

While at the opticians? Everyone

ROSES ARE BEIGE, VIOLETS ARE BLACK

 

Roses are beige, violets are black

When do all the colours come back

Oh my I’m such a confused bloke

Am I colourblind or having a stroke

ARE YOU WEARING A MONOCLE?

 

Are you wearing a monocle?

Can I ask the reason why?

You can still wear spectacles

Even if you have a glass eye

ARE YOU WEARING COLOURED LENSES?

 

Are you wearing coloured lenses?

If you’re not then what that means is

At the risk of sounding a cynic

You should visit the walk in eye clinic

ARE YOU WEARING LENSES?

 

Are you wearing lenses?

To hide your sensual eyes

They don’t make you more

Beautiful, it’s just disguise

ARE YOU WEARING TINTED LENSES?

 

Are you wearing tinted lenses?

And the colour of vermillion

In normal light they look great

But at night you look like an alien

ARE YOU WEARING CONTACTS?

 

Are you wearing contacts?

And a different colour at that

In normal light they look great

But in the dark you look like a cat

ARE YOU WEARING A SQUINT?

Are you wearing a squint?

That’ll be because of the fine print.

I wouldn’t bother reading every bit

There's no way you're going to like it 

RISKY BEHAVIOURS

 

She woke up on Sunday morning

And regretted her risky behaviours

Muttering as she looked at her partner

“I should have gone to Specsavers”

ARE YOU WEARING CONTACT LENSES?

 

Are you wearing contact lenses?

In your “mince pies”

Because they shine

At night like cats eyes

PEEPING TOM

 

Well, what a life changing experience

Before my surgery I could barely see

It was like looking through frosted glass

Shapes and colours seen indistinctly

But when the dressing came off

I could see much better, just a little misty

Like looking through steamed up glass

But now even the mist has cleared

And I can see everything perfectly

I can see the girl I love as clear as day

But I still have to climb up a tree to do it

NORMAL SERVICE HAS BEEN RESUMED

 

Now I’ve had my sight restored

Thanks to the surgeon’s precision

I finally appreciate the worth

Of TV in High Definition

After spending so many years

Watching TV in Monet vision

I GOOGLED MY SYMPTOMS

 

I Googled my symptoms

As I had an irritated eye

And found Conjunctivitis.com

That’s a site for sore eyes

EYES (CINQUAIN)

 

Eyes

Telling, Knowing

Winking, Gazing, Spying

Windows Of The Soul

Eyes