BREAK A LEG

 

“Break a leg?” is an actors saying

Which is from the distant past

And has become a tradition

Because every play has a cast

TO PARAPHRASE THE GREAT FRANK CAPRA

 

To paraphrase the great Frank Capra

“I thought drama was when actors cried

But I was clearly mistaken in that belief

As drama is when the audience cries”

I HEARD ABOUT A YOUNG ACTOR

 

I heard about a young actor

Who was playing the part of a Page

Fell through the floorboards

But he was just going through a stage

IN OUR AMATEUR DRAMATICS GROUP

 

In our Amateur Dramatics group

I was performing in a pantomime

Which was actually rather crappy

And I argued with one of the dwarfs

I’m don’t know which one he was

But I know for sure he wasn’t happy

I WOULD LOVE TO BE AN ACTOR

 

I would love to be an actor,

But it would be quite absurd

As I'd always forget the...

Oh dear, what is the word

MY YOUNG ACTRESS SISTER

 

My young actress sister

Has absolutely no shame

But in Hollywood she has

Found some level of fame

She’s now “Doing a pilot”

I didn’t ask for his name

A MAN APPEARING AS HAMLET

 

A man appearing as Hamlet

Was booed while performing it

“Don’t blame me” he snapped

“I didn’t write this bloody shit”

WHEN ACTOR FOGHORN LEGHORN

 

When actor Foghorn Leghorn

Retired to a farm near Leyton

Named his favourite he “Macduff”

Because he wanted her to lay on

BREAK A LEG

 

Telling actors to “Break a leg”

Is a tradition from long past

And the reason for it is this

Actors like to be in a good cast

I STRUGGLE WITH CERTAIN ACTORS

 

I struggle with certain actors

When giving cinematic recitals

Like De Niro and Pacino

They should come with subtitles

I CAN’T WATCH SYLVESTER STALLONE

 

I can’t watch Sylvester Stallone

I find his speech very distracting

He was clearly a graduate

Of the Mumbling school of acting

PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN

 

When the tragic death

Was announced on the news

Of the Oscar winning actor

My wife didn’t have a clue

Which prompted her to say

Philip Seymour who?

I CAN’T WATCH CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON

I can’t watch Christopher Eccleston

I find his speech very distracting

He was clearly a graduate

Of the shouty school of acting 

I HEARD ABOUT A YOUNG ACTOR

 

I heard about a young actor

Who was playing the part of a Page

Fell through the floorboards

But he was just going through a stage

TO PARAPHRASE THE GREAT FRANK CAPRA

 

To paraphrase the great Frank Capra

“I thought drama was when actors cried

But I was clearly mistaken in that belief

As drama is when the audience cries”

I HEARD ABOUT A YOUNG ACTOR

 

I heard about a young actor

Who was playing the part of a Page

Who fell through the floorboards

But he was just going through a stage

WHEN OLDER PERFORMERS DON’T START THEIR ACT

 

When older performers don’t start their act

But begin by telling you their age instead

The crowd goes wild, but what the audience

Is applauding them for, is not being dead

IN OUR AMATEUR DRAMATICS GROUP

 

In our Amateur Dramatics group

I was performing in a pantomime

Which was actually rather crappy

And I argued with one of the dwarfs

I’m don’t know which one he was

But I know for sure he wasn’t happy

I WOULD LOVE TO BE AN ACTOR

 

I would love to be an actor,

But it would be quite absurd

As I'd always forget the...

Oh dear, what is the word

BREAK A LEG

 

“Break a leg?” is an actors saying

Which is from the distant past

And has become a tradition

Because every play has a cast