THE MAYORESS UNVEILED

 

The Mayoress unveiled a large bust

At the civic centre

When her blouse was accidentally

Torn open by a Councillor.

I WOKE UP THIS EARLY MORNING

 

I woke up this early morning

And I have realised all my worst fears

Because our new MP is an old classmate

We used to call Tiny Tears

ARE YOU WEARING A FAT SUIT?

 

Are you wearing a fat suit?

Well that shape can’t be ignored

But wait it’s not a suit is it?

I recognise you now Mr Blackford

REMEMBER YOUR VOTE COUNTS

 

Remember your vote counts

In a Democracy

But your Count votes

In a feudal society

IT'S SAD THAT IN DEMOCRATIC AMERICA

 

It's sad that in Democratic America

That Black Friday gives them more of a lift

Than Good Friday, as they are more

Interested in bargains than the greatest gift

WE ALL WANT THERESA MAY GONE

 

We all want Theresa May gone

But stubbornly making a fuss

And she just won’t go away

She’s like a bad case of thrush

JEZZA CAME CLOSE AT THE LAST ELECTION

 

Jezza came close at the last election

There’s certainly no doubt about that

But that was then, but now he’s gone

From Corbyn to Hasbyn in no time flat

WHEN YOU’RE A DICTATOR LIKE MADURO

 

When you’re a dictator like Maduro

It’s difficult to find time to shop

But for his Palace building materials

He always shops at the Home Despot

ARE YOU WEARING A SELF-IMPORTANT LOOK?

 

Are you wearing a self-important look?

Well I would say you are in my opinion

And further more I will bet my house

On the fact that you are a politician

TERRIBLE THERESA

 

Terrible Theresa

Strong and stable

Tried to grow her majority

But wasn’t able

From there on in

Her decent was rapid

As her premiership

Became increasingly vapid

But now every day

We reach yet another low

The obvious conclusion

Is that May must go

MAY AND CORBYN

 

May and Corbyn are equally

Hapless as their party’s leader

They’re so bad you wouldn’t ask

Either of them to lead a Conga

MAY AND CORBYN, INEPT

 

May and Corbyn’s ineptitude

Has left us all agog

You wouldn’t trust either one

To even lead a Dog

STRONG AND STABLE, NOT

 

As Neville Chamberlain did before

May went on an arse kissing tour

Begging crumbs from the EU table

Portraying us to all, as weak and feeble

JEAN-CLAUDE JUNCKER

 

Whatever the UK suggest

The EU immediately resist

And the reason behind that

Is Juncker is always pissed

I DIDN’T KNOW IT MEANT EXIT

 

I didn’t know it meant exit

When I voted for Brexit

To be honest I voted leave

Just because I like leaves

ARE YOU WEARING YELLOW?

 

Are you wearing yellow?    

A brave choice for one so sallow

With thick wrinkled skin like a Tangelo

But for all that you seem quite mellow

So why are you wearing yellow?

Oh, you’re that Vince Cable fellow

ARE YOU WEARING BLUE?

 

Are you wearing blue?

So, tell me, what’s your story?

Roedean and Oxbridge, I see

So, you’ll be marrying a Tory

ARE YOU WEARING RED? # 2

 

Are you wearing red?

To signify the party you’re in

Well done, congratulations

You made a decision Mr Corbyn

ARE YOU WEARING RED? # 1

 

Are you wearing red?

And standing at the foot of my bed

I hope that means you’re Santa

And not Jeremy Corbyn instead

CITIZENS OF WESTERN DEMOCRACY’S

 

Citizens of Western democracy’s 

Will cross the world to fight for it

But are so disinterested that they

Won't cross the street to vote for it