THERE’S A NEW MOVIE IN PRODUCTION

 

There’s a new movie in production

About a bunch of Comic Art Heisters

Specifically, the work of Mike Mignola

The film is called Steal Mignolas

 

Credit to Selina J @OfSelina

I LOVE BRUCE WILLIS MOVIES

 

I love Bruce Willis Movies

But I have been barred

My wife told me to stop

As our marriage had been marred

So, I tried to wean myself off them

But Old habits Die Hard

ARE YOU WEARING CAPRI PANTS?

 

Are you wearing Capri Pants?

You’d look at home on a yacht

But I can say one thing for sure

Audrey Hepburn you are not

FRED ASTAIRE WAS BELIEVED TO BE

 

Fred Astaire was believed to be

The greatest Dancer in his field

But Ginger Rodgers did the same

Only backwards and in heels

IMAGINE BEING FIVE MINUTES FROM THE END

 

Imagine being five minutes from the end

Of the longest movie ever made and then

It starts over because it forgot something

Well, that's my wife’s way of story telling

WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 7

 

If you value your life avoid places

That might make your nerves jangle

A certain geographical location

For example the Bermuda Triangle

WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 6

 

If you value your life avoid places

Famous for a murderous creature

Like a certain geographical location

Yes I’m talking about Transylvania

WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 5

 

If you value your life avoid places

Where demons from hell meet

Like a certain geographical location

Infamously known as Elm Street

WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 4

 

If on your travels you find a town

Which looks deserted, let’s say

It’s probably like that for a reason.

So take the hint and stay away

WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 3

 

When there is a raging storm outside

And an intruder with murderous intent

And the power suddenly goes out

Do not go and search the basement

WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 2

 

When it appears that you have succeeded

And the monster is lying dead

Do not for any reason go and check

Get the hell out of there instead

WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 1

 

When browsing the occult section

Of the library shelves 

Never read aloud from a book

Of demon summoning spells

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – SURVIVING CHRISTMAS WITH THE RELATIVES (2018)

 

Miranda (Gemma Whelan) and Dan (Julian Ovenden) and their children live in the run down, rambling country house inherited from her recently deceased parents which they run as a small holding.

Despite its dilapidated, work in progress, state with a team of polish builders’ resident on site, they have invited a house full for Christmas.

Mirandas fading Hollywood actress sister Lyla (Joely Richardson), her alcoholic/drug addict husband Trent (Michael Landes) and their children, Dans oversexed half-sister Vicky (Ronni Ancona), his ex-wife Miriam (Sally Phillips) and addict son Harry (Jonas Moore),

Aunt Peggy (Patricia Hodge) and Uncle John (James Fox), to name but a few.

So, a chaotic Christmas ensues with old sibling rivalry, family squabbles, drunkenness, drug abuse, and infidelities all of which threaten to sabotage the season of goodwill.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – THE SANTA SUIT (2010)

 

Drake Hunter (Kevin Sorbo) is CEO of Hunter Toys, turned the company he inherited from his father, from a cosy quality manufacturer into a ruthless, uncaring, profit hungry business.

He employed all the production line staff on 39 hour weeks therefore avoiding the need to provide full benefits and he was no better during the holidays he showed his staff no festive generosity, no bonuses or time off.

However he gets the scrooge treatment when he meets who he presumes is one of the store Santa’s, Kris Krandall (Derry Robinson), who magically transforms Drake into a likeness of himself and as no one recognizes him as CEO he is forced to live in a shelter run by Nancy Baxter (Jodie Dowdall) and work as a Santa for Norm Dobson (Jason Blicker) in his toy store, with weird would be-actor Sebastian (Darrell Faria) as his Elf.

While working at the store he meets a quiet young girl called Gemma (Brianna Daguanno) and between his interaction with her and the kind and gentle influence of Nancy at the shelter he reassesses his values and priorities in life.

WE ALWAYS GO TO THE PICTURES

 

We always go to the pictures

For the end of week features

Never mind orange Wednesday

What we like is CGI Friday

I STRUGGLE WITH CERTAIN ACTORS

 

I struggle with certain actors

When giving cinematic recitals

Like De Niro and Pacino

They should come with subtitles

I WENT TO THE MOVIES LAST NIGHT

 

I went to the movies last night

And watched a really good thriller

About a man poisoning the Cornflakes

Who turned out to be a cereal killer

ODEON

 

When I was a kid

My sister worked

At the Odeon Wood Green

And got me in for nothing

I loved the pictures

And I went everyday

It was a special place to me

Of course, it was a far cry

From its Roman namesake

With its grand architecture

And hi-brow classical

Musical performances

But it was a magical place

Where I lost myself

In the flickering shadows

Of movieland

And escaped reality

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – GROUNDHOG DAY (1993)

 

“Groundhog Day” is a comedy, screenplay by Danny Rubin and Harold Ramis, and Directed by Harold Ramis.

TV weatherman Phil (Bill Murray) reluctantly has to do an outside broadcast in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, on Groundhog Day, to cover the story about, what he calls, a weather forecasting “rat”, Punxsutawney Phil, who is in fact a Groundhog.

Furthermore, it’s his fourth year on the story, and he makes no effort to hide his displeasure.

But he travels to Pennsylvania anyway with Producer Rita (Andie MacDowell) and Cameraman Larry (Chris Elliott) and dutifully fulfils his obligation while barely concealing his contempt for the whole event.

And that night when he went to bed, he consoled himself that it was only one day, but on awaking the following morning he discovers that it's Groundhog Day again, and again, and again.

At first, he uses this anomaly to his advantage, to seduce women, be outrageous, be obnoxious, all without consequence, but eventually he comes to the realisation that he is doomed to spend the rest of eternity in the same place, seeing the same people, do the same thing every day, unless he can change, if not the day, then himself.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – A CHRISTMAS LOVE STORY (2012)

 

Family friends Sam Reed (Dustin Milligan) and Kat Patton (Danica McKellar) spend every Christmas Eve at the Children's Table from the age of three.

Over the years they grew up together, sharing the highs and lows of young adulthood.

But at the age of thirty, Sam realizes that Kat is the one...but he's afraid that the past will get in the way.

A real gem of a Christmas movie and Danica McKellar is an absolute delight.