The nine muses
Daughters of Zeus
Inspiring of mortals
And nurturers of the
arts
The sixth was,
The divine Polyhymnia,
The one of many hymns,
Was the Muse of sacred
poetry and sacred hymns
Of eloquence and
pantomime
In her long cloak and
classical pose
Polyhymnia was a
serious, pensive and meditative muse
It seems that no matter which road I travel
As soon as I turn onto
it the road works begin
They always get there
before me with one exception
There are never any
problems on the road to ruin
A man walked into his bedroom
Where his wife was
preparing for sleep
And stood in the
doorway
Holding a leash
attached to a sheep
“Sweetheart when you
have a headache
This is the cow I make
love to”
The wife looked at him
with utter contempt
Then took his silence
as her cue
Saying “If you weren't
such a numbskull,
You’d know that's not
a cow it’s a yew
He replied “If you
weren't so conceited
You’d realise I wasn’t
talking to you”
Conscious of the danger to an animal
Being left inside a
parked car
A woman opened the car
window
So, her puppy could
get some air
But the little pup saw
the open window
As a route to escape
the car
And the woman had to
stop
Before she had got
very far
She stood and pointed
at the dog
Firmly saying stay,
stay, stay
A woman of the blonde
persuasion
Was watching her from
some distance away
But she had to keep
repeating it
Until she felt it safe
to go
The blonde woman
shouted to her
“You can use the hand
brake you know”
My brother has a really bad habit
He smokes pot to
excess you see
When he needs more
from his dealer
He picks up the phone
and hits the hash key
Amidst the preparations
For the upcoming
festivities
There has been a lot
of demand
On the Church
amenities
For those of us
involved
In pulling the
Christmas peel
Found the time to
practise
Was far less than
ideal
I found it difficult
to fit it in
Around work and family
needs
And often practised
alone
At a very late hour
indeed
One night it all got
too much
The final straw I
can’t remember
But as a result, I
decided to tie
The bell rope around
my member
I don’t know why it
was
That I succumbed to
the pressure
But I was discovered
And I was tolled off
by the vicar
I'm so glad I am leaving
It’s not before time
It’s like release from
prison
After committing no
crime
It’s a cause for
celebration
Bring on the dancing
girls
Crack open a bottle
Let’s get the flags
unfurled
I’ve worked too many
years
For Scrooge like
employers
Today is a joyful
occasion
It’s the greatest of
pleasures
I'm so glad I am
leaving
It’s all I have
desired
Thank God the day has
come
I’m so glad I’ve
retired
