I BOUGHT SHOES FROM A DRUG DEALER

 

I bought shoes from a drug dealer,

Not my normal purchase by the way,

And I don’t know what he laced them with

But I've been tripping all day

THE MARIJUANA DILEMMA

 

If the long held supposition or dilemma,

That the side effect of smoking marijuana

Can cause short-term memory loss, is true

Then what does smoking marijuana do?

READ ALL OUR CRITIQUES

 

Read all our critiques

On Hallucinogenics

It’s what we’re here for

At Trip advisor

NICKNAMED SNOW PLOUGH

 

When my brother was a young man

He had a well-earned nickname

They called him the “snow plough”

Because of his appetite for cocaine

WHEN MY BROTHER WAS AT COLLEGE

 

When my brother was at college

He had an unusual nickname

Which was the “snow plough”

Because of his appetite for cocaine

MY GRANDMA TOLD ME HER JOINTS TROUBLE HER

 

My grandma told me her joints trouble her

And elaborated, saying they are getting weaker

I said I had a way to make her life brighter

If she was just to roll her spliffs a bit tighter

POPPERS

 

They said they had poppers at the party

But no evidence of them could be seen

There was no strands of confetti anywhere

And the carpets were spotlessly clean

OUTSIDE THE DRUG REHAB CENTRE

 

Outside the drug rehab centre

There was something a little crass

There was a sign on the lawn

That said “Keep off the Grass”

IT’S NOT REALLY ANY COMFORT

 

It’s not really any comfort

If someone dies while doing

Something that they loved

When they were doing Heroin

IF YOU WANT TO SCORE AT SCHOOL

 

If you want to score at school

Then the person to see

To fulfil all your needs

Is the supply teacher obviously

INOCULATIONS ARE A DRAG

 

Inoculations are a drag

Just remember it’s the jabs

That might well prevent

Many ending up on slabs

THE DRUG MULE SURPRISE

 

The drug mule

Smuggled cocaine

In little plastic eggs

More accustomed

To holding a toy

And that’s what I call

A Kindle Surprise

A FOREIGN STUDENT FROM CALCUTTA # 2

A foreign student from Calcutta

Accidentally snorted curry powder

Thinking it was cocaine the silly duffer

He survived but he’s got a dicky Tikka

A FOREIGN STUDENT FROM CALCUTTA # 1

A foreign student from Calcutta

Accidentally snorted curry powder

Thinking it was cocaine the silly duffer

He survived but he’s still in a Korma 

OUR LONDON SCHOOL WAS AWASH

 

Our London school was awash

With drugs of various kinds

And it certainly wasn’t considered

A punishment to do lines

DOPEY BROTHER

 

My brother has a really bad habit

He smokes pot to excess you see

When he needs more from his dealer

He picks up the phone and hits the hash key

WOW GRAN

 

A teenage boy walks in the room

And asks his granny

"Have you seen my pills?

They were labelled LSD"

She looks at him and smiles

"Fuck the pills” Says she

“What about the dragon

Sat on the settee"

I BOUGHT SHOES FROM A DRUG DEALER

 

I bought shoes from a drug dealer,

Not my normal purchase by the way,

And I don’t know what he laced them with

But I've been tripping all day

READ ALL OUR CRITIQUES

 

Read all our critiques

On Hallucinagenics

It’s what we’re here for

At Trip advisor

THE MARIJUANA DILEMMA

 

If the long held supposition or dilemma,

That the side effect of smoking marijuana

Can cause short-term memory loss, is true

Then what does smoking marijuana do?