SEAT OF LEARNING
In those halcyon days at university
Our lively intelligence or our esprit
Meant heads were encouraged towards the noetic
But our hearts gravitated to embrace the poetic
Our fecund, fertile minds, proved greatly to suit
As our high minded imaginings bore great fruit
GREEN HILLS
In the lee of the mountains with snow on the ground
Sits a quaint little village with hills all around
No sign can be seen of the green grassy hills
For they lay neath the snow in the wintery chill
But the people are happy and get on with their lives
All the brothers and sisters and husbands and wives
For they know that soon the snow will turn to rain
And then they will see their green hills again
IT’S LENT ONCE MORE
It’s Lent once more
A time to cleanse the soul
Empty the trash
And let Christ keep us whole
Clear the spam
Empty the buffers of sin
Deny yourself
And let the lord back in
It’s Lent once more
Pray to your saviour for peace
Cleanse your soul
Then your penance can cease
Friday, 19 November 2010
A Jamboree Bag Full Of Humour
CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY
In the event that your nose runs
And your feet smell
Just consider the possibility
That you might be upside down
I’M BUSY DOING NOTHING
At breakfast my wife asked me
What I was doing today
“Nothing” I replied to her
“But you did nothing yesterday”
She informed me
“And now you’re doing it again today”
I replied “I’m not doing nothing, again
I didn’t finish doing it yesterday”
CO-OP COUPLE
Christopher really liked Lisa
He thought she was really quite fit
They worked together every day
At a very well known supermarket
When he asked her out she said yes
But to show that they were an item
They were shrink-wrapped together
And had a barcode label stuck on them
I DON’T BOTHER WITH FLU JABS
Its flu jab season again
But I always give them a pass
I self medicate with alcohol
It really is first class
So just say to the doc
When he starts to tut
That a shot in your glass
Is better than one in the butt
DOCTOR FEELGOOD
My doctor advised me to
Take regular exercise
Eat more fruit
And get plenty of fresh air
So I have taken his advice
I walk to the pub
I have a slice of lemon with my G&T
And I drink in the beer garden
AT KING ARTHURS COURT
Sir Lancelot was the greatest
Sir Gawain was the soundest
Sir Galahad was the purest
Sir Cumference was the roundest
SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS
When I was on an Alaskan island
I was sure i had seen an optician
Just as plain as the nose on my face
But it turned out to be an optical Aleutian
In the event that your nose runs
And your feet smell
Just consider the possibility
That you might be upside down
I’M BUSY DOING NOTHING
At breakfast my wife asked me
What I was doing today
“Nothing” I replied to her
“But you did nothing yesterday”
She informed me
“And now you’re doing it again today”
I replied “I’m not doing nothing, again
I didn’t finish doing it yesterday”
CO-OP COUPLE
Christopher really liked Lisa
He thought she was really quite fit
They worked together every day
At a very well known supermarket
When he asked her out she said yes
But to show that they were an item
They were shrink-wrapped together
And had a barcode label stuck on them
I DON’T BOTHER WITH FLU JABS
Its flu jab season again
But I always give them a pass
I self medicate with alcohol
It really is first class
So just say to the doc
When he starts to tut
That a shot in your glass
Is better than one in the butt
DOCTOR FEELGOOD
My doctor advised me to
Take regular exercise
Eat more fruit
And get plenty of fresh air
So I have taken his advice
I walk to the pub
I have a slice of lemon with my G&T
And I drink in the beer garden
AT KING ARTHURS COURT
Sir Lancelot was the greatest
Sir Gawain was the soundest
Sir Galahad was the purest
Sir Cumference was the roundest
SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS
When I was on an Alaskan island
I was sure i had seen an optician
Just as plain as the nose on my face
But it turned out to be an optical Aleutian
ON THE NAMING OF A CHILD
On the naming of a child
Certain protocols should be followed by the registrar
Protocol one
If the chosen name is Rainbow or Honey dew
Then firstly the parents should be slapped
And given a book containing sensible names
This process should be repeated until a sensible choice is made
Protocol Two
If the chosen name is Chardonnay or Champagne
Then firstly the parents should be slapped
And a large group of people should be assembled to laugh at them
The parents should then be given a dictionary
To look up the definitions of the names that they chose
This process should also be repeated until a sensible choice is made
Protocol Three
If the chosen name is Moonflower or Gallifrey
Then firstly the parents should be slapped
And the child should be immediately taken into care
Then the parents should be put in the stocks
So sensible people can throw rotten fruit at them
Before finally being committed to an institution
PS – Should it ever be deemed that they have been cured
They should be sterilised before release
And their names entered on the pretentious parents register
PPS - Anyone from Cardiff, The Wirral, Norfolk, Suffolk or Essex will inevitably
Name the child after a piece of fruit, a place they have visited
The name of their favourite car or a product from a supermarket
As a result these people should not be trusted to name their children.
Registrars must name the children for them
In the same way that Hurricanes and tropical storms are named
If they complain go straight to Protocol three
Certain protocols should be followed by the registrar
Protocol one
If the chosen name is Rainbow or Honey dew
Then firstly the parents should be slapped
And given a book containing sensible names
This process should be repeated until a sensible choice is made
Protocol Two
If the chosen name is Chardonnay or Champagne
Then firstly the parents should be slapped
And a large group of people should be assembled to laugh at them
The parents should then be given a dictionary
To look up the definitions of the names that they chose
This process should also be repeated until a sensible choice is made
Protocol Three
If the chosen name is Moonflower or Gallifrey
Then firstly the parents should be slapped
And the child should be immediately taken into care
Then the parents should be put in the stocks
So sensible people can throw rotten fruit at them
Before finally being committed to an institution
PS – Should it ever be deemed that they have been cured
They should be sterilised before release
And their names entered on the pretentious parents register
PPS - Anyone from Cardiff, The Wirral, Norfolk, Suffolk or Essex will inevitably
Name the child after a piece of fruit, a place they have visited
The name of their favourite car or a product from a supermarket
As a result these people should not be trusted to name their children.
Registrars must name the children for them
In the same way that Hurricanes and tropical storms are named
If they complain go straight to Protocol three
THE DEATH OF DREAMS
He leaves her house
Saying goodnight at the door
And heads homeward
Like so many times before
She has another drink?
Or snorts another line?
No need for a cab
She thinks she’ll be fine
On his lips is the taste
Of his loves last kiss
As he peddles ever onward
Towards the abyss
She drives like a demon
Without any care
Racing over the bridge
Not seeing him there
There is only one winner
When the two come together
Only one outcome
A young man lost forever
In the laws eyes he died a boy
Three days short of being a man
But a very mature boy
A young man with a plan
His life had a purpose
Plans and dreams to be achieved
But his dreams died with him
And they too should be grieved
Too young, too young
To leave dreams unfulfilled
Too soon, too soon
For a young man to be killed
Saying goodnight at the door
And heads homeward
Like so many times before
She has another drink?
Or snorts another line?
No need for a cab
She thinks she’ll be fine
On his lips is the taste
Of his loves last kiss
As he peddles ever onward
Towards the abyss
She drives like a demon
Without any care
Racing over the bridge
Not seeing him there
There is only one winner
When the two come together
Only one outcome
A young man lost forever
In the laws eyes he died a boy
Three days short of being a man
But a very mature boy
A young man with a plan
His life had a purpose
Plans and dreams to be achieved
But his dreams died with him
And they too should be grieved
Too young, too young
To leave dreams unfulfilled
Too soon, too soon
For a young man to be killed
AT THE ELEVENTH HOUR
At the eleventh hour
Silence falls
Heads bow in reverence
Reflecting remembrance
Ordinary people
Stop to show respect
For those who fell
At the eleventh hour
A small group
Of Muslim youth
Chant descent
And wave banners high
“British soldier’s burn in hell”
And this small disrespectful group
Of Muslim youth
Burn poppies in the street
Desecrating that symbol
Of solemnity
And remembrance
Burning the poppies
In symbolic disrespect
Spitting on the dead,
Urinating on their graves
Or defecating on the cenotaph
Would be a less abhorrent act
By that small ignorant group
Of Muslim youth
The poppy does not discriminate
It doesn’t just represent
The white race
The Christian faith
European culture
It represents so much more
Every race
Every faith
From every continent
At the eleventh hour
That small group
Of Muslim youth
Who burnt the poppies
Disgraced themselves
And disgraced the memory
Of every Muslim soldier
Who fell on battlefields
Across the world
Silence falls
Heads bow in reverence
Reflecting remembrance
Ordinary people
Stop to show respect
For those who fell
At the eleventh hour
A small group
Of Muslim youth
Chant descent
And wave banners high
“British soldier’s burn in hell”
And this small disrespectful group
Of Muslim youth
Burn poppies in the street
Desecrating that symbol
Of solemnity
And remembrance
Burning the poppies
In symbolic disrespect
Spitting on the dead,
Urinating on their graves
Or defecating on the cenotaph
Would be a less abhorrent act
By that small ignorant group
Of Muslim youth
The poppy does not discriminate
It doesn’t just represent
The white race
The Christian faith
European culture
It represents so much more
Every race
Every faith
From every continent
At the eleventh hour
That small group
Of Muslim youth
Who burnt the poppies
Disgraced themselves
And disgraced the memory
Of every Muslim soldier
Who fell on battlefields
Across the world
Thursday, 18 November 2010
CHRISTMAS LINDA PART 3 - FROM EVE TO EVE
Christmas Eve
It was Christmas Eve and the house was decorated for the season
A large fresh cut tree stood in the corner and perfumed the room
Adorned by a myriad of assorted baubles and lights
Christmas cards of all shapes and sizes adorned every surface
And more hung on bright red and green ribbons from the picture rails
Bright colored Christmas garlands hung gaily criss-crossing the sealing
While outside through a break in the dark clouds
A shaft of week winter sunlight shone through the window
Reflecting off the garlands and painting random patterns on the walls
I sat watching TV in my favorite armchair in the front room
Of the house I shared with my wife and soul mate Linda
The woman I loved more then life itself
Both of us had been married before but Linda was the love of my life
We had spent 30 years apart before we found each other again
When our own Christmas miracle happened 20 years ago
And we have had 20 years of incredible happiness together
We had made good use of the years we had together
To make up for the lost time we were apart
And together we had had the fullest of lives
Christmas had always had particular significance for us
It was our favorite time of year and had always been so
Our most meaningful moments together happened at Christmas time
Finding love together, losing each other, finding each other, marrying each other
That’s why I called her Christmas Linda
We did Christmas big and we relished every moment
We would pack away all the ornaments and pictures
Replacing them with festive decorations we had collected over the years
There would be a houseful on Christmas day and Boxing Day
Sharing the celebration with family and friends
Then we would fly off to the sun for a few weeks
Neither of us could abide the New Years holiday
So we took ourselves away to enjoy each others company
But this year the season held no joy for me
Even James Stewart in “It’s a wonderful life” could not lift my spirits
And the reason for my gloomy disposition
Lay in the next room, where the dining table used to stand
Where we had so many wonderful Christmas dinners
The room full of the happy chatter of good company
The table heaving under the weight of Christmas fare
But in its place now stood a stark and clinical a hospital bed
And laying upon it the most precious thing in my life, Linda
Surrounded by all the paraphernalia of terminal illness
Her once vibrant body riddled with inoperable tumors
Their evil spread consuming her from within
The cancer was to far advanced when it was discovered
And she refused what little treatment there was on offer
She also stubbornly refused to die in hospital or a hospice
Saying she wished to die in our home where she had known such happiness
How could I refuse her that simple wish?
We had a private nurse who sat with her at night and I tended her by day
And I watched her dieing by inches every single day
The cruelest punishment for being so happy
My first wife was taken by cancer
And that was hard enough to bare
It’s always so hard when someone you love suffers
But as much as I loved my first wife and as hard as it was to watch her die
It was nothing compared to the intolerable despair I felt losing Linda
She was not only my wife she was my love, my life,
My soul mate, she was the one
I would sit with her and read to her
Sometimes Dickens, Stephen King or Tom Sharpe
Depending on her frame of mind
On her brighter days she would have me tell her jokes
She always said I was the only one who could make her laugh
Her brown hair with its soft curls had long since turned silver
And the sparkle was only rarely present in her eyes
The laughter that used to play around them replaced by pain
And it was on the morning of that Christmas Eve
When she told me what she wanted for Christmas
She was always at her best in the morning
But on that morning she was having a good day
After she had eaten breakfast she asked me to pass her jewelry box
It was the very first Christmas gift I gave her
She often told me it was her most precious possession, after me
As I handed it to her she smiled and just for a second
There was a glimpse of her loveliness shinning through the pain
She patted the bed and bad me sit next to her
I sat on the bed next to her and she took my hand
“I have to say this to you today because I’m having a good day and
I don’t know how many good days I’ve got left”
I protested that she was being silly, she squeezed my hand
Then gave me a look which said that I knew she wasn’t
She opened her jewelry box and from a draw within
Took out a neatly folded handkerchief which she carefully unfolded
And inside were a dozen capsules containing her medication
She looked at me with her soulful eyes pleading with me
As the realization of what she was asking sank in I shook my head
On her good days she had salted away some of her medication
Until she now had enough to hasten the end
She squeezed my hand again and said “Please do this for me”
She didn’t want me to do it there and then
She just wanted me to agree to do it when the time came
But the time would be very soon
“It’s the only gift you can give me this Christmas”
She looked in to my eyes and said
“I love you more than anything in the world
And I know with all my heart that you love me”
I could say nothing as tears welled up in my eyes
“Please do this thing for me” she pleaded
My heart was breaking at the choice I must make
Let her suffer or end her suffering and kill her
I said “I just can’t do it” and I got up and left the room
She didn’t call after me she knew I would be back
With tears streaming down my face I grabbed my coat
And went out the door and went for a walk
The day was cold, grey and damp
And clouds scudded across the December sky
Any hint of the promised sunny intervals was not in evidence
It was the kind of day that chilled you to the bone
But I didn’t feel it at all I just felt numb
You had to be alive to feel the cold and I was dieing inside
I walked for miles under the grey skies
Along the woodland paths we used to walk together
My mind in turmoil my eyes red with tears
If I did what she wanted I would lose her forever
The loss of her would be devastating
But not to let her go would just be selfish
My head was spinning I didn’t know which way to turn
Images of the happy moments together swam in and out of focus
Then as I walked into a clearing in the woods
Where once we had made love on a sultry afternoon
There was a sudden break in the clouds
And the woods were bathed in winter sunshine
And all at once I knew what I must do
When I returned to the house I went straight to her bedside
She was sleeping; so I sat on the chair beside her bed
And rested my head on the bed beside her
Then I felt her hand gently stroking my hair
I sat up and her hand moved to my cheek
I took it in my own and kissed it softly and said
“I’ll do what ever you want me to do”
New Years Eve
Christmas had past and I was glad of it
It was without doubt the worst Christmas of my life
Full of tears and sadness instead of happiness and laughter
There was no wondrous Christmas feast
No table laden with Christmas delights
No hearty laughter or light hearted banter
Just an endless stream of visitors, friends and family
As cheery as was possible, putting on a brave face
All coming with forced smiles to bring the seasons greetings
But all leaving with tears knowing she would not see the spring
I know I sound ungrateful and I’m not really
But every visit ate into the precious time Linda and I had left
I knew how important it was to Linda to see everyone
Even the doctor called in to make sure she was comfortable
And in between visits I would sit watching the needles dropping from the tree
As if each dropping needle symbolized Linda’s plight
And as I sat alone in my favorite armchair on New Years Eve
Staring at the pine needles scattered beneath the tree
I tried to come to terms with the fact that Linda would die with the old year
Since Christmas Eve when she made her request
Linda had been in good spirits
She had seen everyone in the world that mattered to her
And said all the things she needed to say
So Linda had decided that morning that enough was enough
I tried to remain cheerful for her but she could see through it
“I know you’re hurting too” she said the pain etched in her face
And with that we made our plans for our last day together
I phoned the nurse telling her she should have the night off
To enjoy the celebrations with her family
She was very grateful and accepted my explanation without question
I filled the room with lighted candles and in the flickering light
Linda and I spent the evening together looking at photographs
And reliving the great times of our life together
We played the music that formed the soundtrack of our lives
Then an hour before midnight she handed me the folded handkerchief
I opened it and inside were now close to twenty capsules
One by one I broke them open emptying the contents into a wine glass
I filled the glass with Port and gave it a stir
And I put the glass on the bedside table before sitting on the bed
Then I took her hand and kissed it and lent forward and kissed her mouth
I started to say good bye but she put her hand to my mouth
Then I reached over and picked up the glass
And held it up to her lips and she took a drink
Then a little more and a little more until the glass was empty
I wiped her mouth with the hanky and she burped
And she laughed that wonderful laugh
The candles sputtered and the flames flickered
Then she said “I love you so very much” squeezing my hand
“I love you too” I said as I sat holding her hand in mine
And then we just sat in silence looking at each other until her eyes closed
The Village clock began chiming the hour
Her hand went limp and her breathing became shallow
And then all the pain in her face was suddenly gone
The clock chimed twelve marking the passing of the old year
And also unknowingly marked Linda’s passing
I don’t know how long I sat there holding her dead hand
With the tears streaming down my face
But as I sat there I knew what had to be done
I poured myself a large whisky and sat in my favorite armchair
Where I wrote a long letter explaining what I had done
And what I was about to do
With the letter written I put it into an envelope
And placed it on the mantelpiece where it would be easily found
Then I drank my whisky and reached into my pocket
And removed the contents placing them on my lap
Then I filled the syringe with the insulin I had stolen from the doctor’s bag
And injected myself with the full syringe
And as my eyes grew heavy I could feel Linda’s hand on my shoulder
And felt her fingers in my hair as I drifted into a coma
And she whispered “I love you” in my ear as my eyes closed
When my eyes opened again I couldn’t believe what I saw
It was a place that was familiar to me and it was snowing
And the street was full of happy smiling people
And there amongst them was Linda larger than life, vivacious and self assured
Covered with snowflakes and laughing
My snow angel, my Christmas Linda
With snow covering her like sugar on a doughnut
Wrapped up against the cold in a woolen hat and coat
And a long knitted scarf draped about her neck
She shook her head and her light brown hair danced about her shoulders
And the snowflakes fell away from her soft curls
Only to be replaced by fresh ones
There was a rosy redness on her cheeks and she was young again
We were both young again and we had gone back 50 years
She threw herself at me and hugged me tightly
I smelled her hair as I held her and was intoxicated by her scent
We were stood at the taxi stand and snow fell onto Linda’s soft curls
We took our place in the queue and we kissed
All too soon a taxi arrived but this time we both got in
And through the winter wonderland we departed this time never to be apart again
It was Christmas Eve and the house was decorated for the season
A large fresh cut tree stood in the corner and perfumed the room
Adorned by a myriad of assorted baubles and lights
Christmas cards of all shapes and sizes adorned every surface
And more hung on bright red and green ribbons from the picture rails
Bright colored Christmas garlands hung gaily criss-crossing the sealing
While outside through a break in the dark clouds
A shaft of week winter sunlight shone through the window
Reflecting off the garlands and painting random patterns on the walls
I sat watching TV in my favorite armchair in the front room
Of the house I shared with my wife and soul mate Linda
The woman I loved more then life itself
Both of us had been married before but Linda was the love of my life
We had spent 30 years apart before we found each other again
When our own Christmas miracle happened 20 years ago
And we have had 20 years of incredible happiness together
We had made good use of the years we had together
To make up for the lost time we were apart
And together we had had the fullest of lives
Christmas had always had particular significance for us
It was our favorite time of year and had always been so
Our most meaningful moments together happened at Christmas time
Finding love together, losing each other, finding each other, marrying each other
That’s why I called her Christmas Linda
We did Christmas big and we relished every moment
We would pack away all the ornaments and pictures
Replacing them with festive decorations we had collected over the years
There would be a houseful on Christmas day and Boxing Day
Sharing the celebration with family and friends
Then we would fly off to the sun for a few weeks
Neither of us could abide the New Years holiday
So we took ourselves away to enjoy each others company
But this year the season held no joy for me
Even James Stewart in “It’s a wonderful life” could not lift my spirits
And the reason for my gloomy disposition
Lay in the next room, where the dining table used to stand
Where we had so many wonderful Christmas dinners
The room full of the happy chatter of good company
The table heaving under the weight of Christmas fare
But in its place now stood a stark and clinical a hospital bed
And laying upon it the most precious thing in my life, Linda
Surrounded by all the paraphernalia of terminal illness
Her once vibrant body riddled with inoperable tumors
Their evil spread consuming her from within
The cancer was to far advanced when it was discovered
And she refused what little treatment there was on offer
She also stubbornly refused to die in hospital or a hospice
Saying she wished to die in our home where she had known such happiness
How could I refuse her that simple wish?
We had a private nurse who sat with her at night and I tended her by day
And I watched her dieing by inches every single day
The cruelest punishment for being so happy
My first wife was taken by cancer
And that was hard enough to bare
It’s always so hard when someone you love suffers
But as much as I loved my first wife and as hard as it was to watch her die
It was nothing compared to the intolerable despair I felt losing Linda
She was not only my wife she was my love, my life,
My soul mate, she was the one
I would sit with her and read to her
Sometimes Dickens, Stephen King or Tom Sharpe
Depending on her frame of mind
On her brighter days she would have me tell her jokes
She always said I was the only one who could make her laugh
Her brown hair with its soft curls had long since turned silver
And the sparkle was only rarely present in her eyes
The laughter that used to play around them replaced by pain
And it was on the morning of that Christmas Eve
When she told me what she wanted for Christmas
She was always at her best in the morning
But on that morning she was having a good day
After she had eaten breakfast she asked me to pass her jewelry box
It was the very first Christmas gift I gave her
She often told me it was her most precious possession, after me
As I handed it to her she smiled and just for a second
There was a glimpse of her loveliness shinning through the pain
She patted the bed and bad me sit next to her
I sat on the bed next to her and she took my hand
“I have to say this to you today because I’m having a good day and
I don’t know how many good days I’ve got left”
I protested that she was being silly, she squeezed my hand
Then gave me a look which said that I knew she wasn’t
She opened her jewelry box and from a draw within
Took out a neatly folded handkerchief which she carefully unfolded
And inside were a dozen capsules containing her medication
She looked at me with her soulful eyes pleading with me
As the realization of what she was asking sank in I shook my head
On her good days she had salted away some of her medication
Until she now had enough to hasten the end
She squeezed my hand again and said “Please do this for me”
She didn’t want me to do it there and then
She just wanted me to agree to do it when the time came
But the time would be very soon
“It’s the only gift you can give me this Christmas”
She looked in to my eyes and said
“I love you more than anything in the world
And I know with all my heart that you love me”
I could say nothing as tears welled up in my eyes
“Please do this thing for me” she pleaded
My heart was breaking at the choice I must make
Let her suffer or end her suffering and kill her
I said “I just can’t do it” and I got up and left the room
She didn’t call after me she knew I would be back
With tears streaming down my face I grabbed my coat
And went out the door and went for a walk
The day was cold, grey and damp
And clouds scudded across the December sky
Any hint of the promised sunny intervals was not in evidence
It was the kind of day that chilled you to the bone
But I didn’t feel it at all I just felt numb
You had to be alive to feel the cold and I was dieing inside
I walked for miles under the grey skies
Along the woodland paths we used to walk together
My mind in turmoil my eyes red with tears
If I did what she wanted I would lose her forever
The loss of her would be devastating
But not to let her go would just be selfish
My head was spinning I didn’t know which way to turn
Images of the happy moments together swam in and out of focus
Then as I walked into a clearing in the woods
Where once we had made love on a sultry afternoon
There was a sudden break in the clouds
And the woods were bathed in winter sunshine
And all at once I knew what I must do
When I returned to the house I went straight to her bedside
She was sleeping; so I sat on the chair beside her bed
And rested my head on the bed beside her
Then I felt her hand gently stroking my hair
I sat up and her hand moved to my cheek
I took it in my own and kissed it softly and said
“I’ll do what ever you want me to do”
New Years Eve
Christmas had past and I was glad of it
It was without doubt the worst Christmas of my life
Full of tears and sadness instead of happiness and laughter
There was no wondrous Christmas feast
No table laden with Christmas delights
No hearty laughter or light hearted banter
Just an endless stream of visitors, friends and family
As cheery as was possible, putting on a brave face
All coming with forced smiles to bring the seasons greetings
But all leaving with tears knowing she would not see the spring
I know I sound ungrateful and I’m not really
But every visit ate into the precious time Linda and I had left
I knew how important it was to Linda to see everyone
Even the doctor called in to make sure she was comfortable
And in between visits I would sit watching the needles dropping from the tree
As if each dropping needle symbolized Linda’s plight
And as I sat alone in my favorite armchair on New Years Eve
Staring at the pine needles scattered beneath the tree
I tried to come to terms with the fact that Linda would die with the old year
Since Christmas Eve when she made her request
Linda had been in good spirits
She had seen everyone in the world that mattered to her
And said all the things she needed to say
So Linda had decided that morning that enough was enough
I tried to remain cheerful for her but she could see through it
“I know you’re hurting too” she said the pain etched in her face
And with that we made our plans for our last day together
I phoned the nurse telling her she should have the night off
To enjoy the celebrations with her family
She was very grateful and accepted my explanation without question
I filled the room with lighted candles and in the flickering light
Linda and I spent the evening together looking at photographs
And reliving the great times of our life together
We played the music that formed the soundtrack of our lives
Then an hour before midnight she handed me the folded handkerchief
I opened it and inside were now close to twenty capsules
One by one I broke them open emptying the contents into a wine glass
I filled the glass with Port and gave it a stir
And I put the glass on the bedside table before sitting on the bed
Then I took her hand and kissed it and lent forward and kissed her mouth
I started to say good bye but she put her hand to my mouth
Then I reached over and picked up the glass
And held it up to her lips and she took a drink
Then a little more and a little more until the glass was empty
I wiped her mouth with the hanky and she burped
And she laughed that wonderful laugh
The candles sputtered and the flames flickered
Then she said “I love you so very much” squeezing my hand
“I love you too” I said as I sat holding her hand in mine
And then we just sat in silence looking at each other until her eyes closed
The Village clock began chiming the hour
Her hand went limp and her breathing became shallow
And then all the pain in her face was suddenly gone
The clock chimed twelve marking the passing of the old year
And also unknowingly marked Linda’s passing
I don’t know how long I sat there holding her dead hand
With the tears streaming down my face
But as I sat there I knew what had to be done
I poured myself a large whisky and sat in my favorite armchair
Where I wrote a long letter explaining what I had done
And what I was about to do
With the letter written I put it into an envelope
And placed it on the mantelpiece where it would be easily found
Then I drank my whisky and reached into my pocket
And removed the contents placing them on my lap
Then I filled the syringe with the insulin I had stolen from the doctor’s bag
And injected myself with the full syringe
And as my eyes grew heavy I could feel Linda’s hand on my shoulder
And felt her fingers in my hair as I drifted into a coma
And she whispered “I love you” in my ear as my eyes closed
When my eyes opened again I couldn’t believe what I saw
It was a place that was familiar to me and it was snowing
And the street was full of happy smiling people
And there amongst them was Linda larger than life, vivacious and self assured
Covered with snowflakes and laughing
My snow angel, my Christmas Linda
With snow covering her like sugar on a doughnut
Wrapped up against the cold in a woolen hat and coat
And a long knitted scarf draped about her neck
She shook her head and her light brown hair danced about her shoulders
And the snowflakes fell away from her soft curls
Only to be replaced by fresh ones
There was a rosy redness on her cheeks and she was young again
We were both young again and we had gone back 50 years
She threw herself at me and hugged me tightly
I smelled her hair as I held her and was intoxicated by her scent
We were stood at the taxi stand and snow fell onto Linda’s soft curls
We took our place in the queue and we kissed
All too soon a taxi arrived but this time we both got in
And through the winter wonderland we departed this time never to be apart again
CHRISTMAS LINDA PART 2 - ONE SPECIAL NIGHT
I found myself stranded in a strange town
With less than a week to go before Christmas
Stranded two hundred miles from home
With a seriously ill car in the garage
And a lack of will to contemplate train travel
In truth I was in no hurry to return home
To the empty soulless house that once was home
But now held no comfort for me
My wife of twenty five years had died a year before
Finally loosing her battle with cancer
And my children were all grown up now
With homes and families of their own
The house would be full at Christmas
Full of noise and hustle and bustle,
And the usual mix of love, laughter and tears
But for now it was cold and empty
So I booked into a hotel for the weekend
And I would drive home on Monday
So finding myself in a strange town
Just a few days before Christmas
And with more than a little time to kill
I decided I could fill part of my day
By doing some last minute Christmas shopping
As I stepped out of the Hotel I shivered
The day was cold, grey and damp
And clouds scudded across the December sky
It was the kind of day that chilled you to the bone
I made my way towards the high street
It was only a five minute walk
The receptionist assured me with a smile
As she jotted down some brief directions
In an effort to warm myself up
I walked briskly following her directions
Down the narrow almost Dickensian lanes and ally ways
Passing picturesque Victorian and Tudor buildings, well mock Tudor
As I went and it was indeed five minutes when I emerged
Onto the busy cobbled pedestrianised high street
It was a curious mixture of ancient and modern
At one end of the street a Norman church was visible
And at the other was what appeared to be a municipal building
With rather pretentious Georgian columns
There was still evidence of a row of Edwardian shop fronts
But much of the street was modern
With a little too much sixties influence to be easy on the eye
The street was criss-crossed along the full length
With festive lights and decorations
Which did there best to brighten the scene
I decided to familiarize my self with what the town had to offer
In the way of shops so I turned left and joined the throng of shoppers
Faces gloomy to match the weather
And headed towards the Georgian pillared building
This turned out to be the public library
As I dodged between the Christmas Lemmings
I made a mental note of shops I would return to
My progress was hampered by erratic shoppers
Who moved it appeared independently to any logic
Some seemed to zigzag everywhere and very few possessed
The ability to walk in a straight line for more than a few paces
And others would take a few steps then stop for no apparent reason
Then after a few moments pause carry on normally in the same direction
The sound of cheery Christmas songs and carols
Could be heard from every shop I passed
Though the cheeriness of the music
Was clearly not reflected on the faces
Of the shoppers going in and out of them
As I passed one shop Noddy Holder screamed “it’s Christmas”
Just in case any of the reluctant shoppers were in any doubt
When I reached the other end of the high street
Where the church stood there was a little square
Which I wasn’t able to see before
In the centre of which was the war memorial
And to its left was a magnificent Christmas tree
Covered in baubles and adorned by a beautiful angel
Assembled around the tree was the Salvation Army band
I took a few moments to admire the tree and listen to the band
And I was taken back to a distant time and place
The clock chimed and I was brought back to the present
I took a few more moments while I decided on my first port of call
Not realizing just how important a decision it was
I decided on Woolworths, always a favorite of mine at Christmas
But it also happened to be the closest
So I walked towards the store and pushed open the door
As I entered I paused to hold the door open for a woman coming the other way
I waited as she put her purse away into a huge handbag
And I wondered what I would get for my trouble
I had found the older I got the less women appreciated courtesy
The simple act of holding open a door could provoke a range of responses
A smile, a thank you, a nod, a sneer, a tut or a colorful mouth full of abuse
And you couldn’t always tell who was going to do what
When she had finished fiddling and securing her bag
She moved to step through the open door
As she passed me she looked up said “Thank you” and smiled broadly
And then she stopped as I returned her smile and then I just stood there
Both of us stood motionless as slowly the recognition set in
We both stood there dumbstruck not believing our eyes
I’m not sure how long for but long enough for a queue to form behind each of us
We both blushed and excused ourselves
And stepped out onto the street away from the door
Neither of us knew what to say I couldn’t believe it was Linda
Who I last saw 30 years before being driven off in a taxi
Disappearing off through the snow
With her palm pressed against the glass her neck craned to keep sight of me
And here she stood before me as beautiful as ever she was
The soft curls of her brown hair still danced on her shoulders
Yet with fine strands of silver threaded thru it
Her smile was still able to melt my heart even after all those years
Her smiling eyes still had the same sparkle
The years had been kind to her and too me much less so
I was still fumbling for the words to say as I studied her
When she reached up and hugged my neck
Kissing my cheek at the same time
And spoke softly in my ear “Paul, Is it really you?”
I simply said yes and we stood in that long comfortable embrace
I don’t know how long we stood there not wanting to let go
Then as she relaxed her grip and I kissed her forehead
“It’s so good too see you” I said feebly
She put her head on my chest, squeezed me and sighed
Then released her grip and pulled away slightly
And put her hand up to my cheek and caressed my grey beard
“Do you have time for coffee”? She said almost pleadingly
I said of course and she put her arm through mine and led me across the high street
Asking quick fire questions as we went
And I explained about my car breaking down
And that I was staying at the Cromwell hotel
She said “oh really” and “oh dear” delighting in my misfortune
We sat on a large comfortable sofa in Starbucks
And told the tales of our lives spent apart
Throughout I looked at her with adoring eyes
Pinching myself expecting to awake from a dream
As I had done so very may times before
I told her about my wife and children
She told me of her marriage and subsequent divorce
The good man I gave her up for turned out to be a violent drunk
She had no children which although unsaid was clearly a regret
With the aid of several cups of coffee we managed to talk away the entire morning
I suggested we might spend the day together
And have dinner together at the hotel
She accepted the invitation to dinner with a delightful smile
Then she looked at her watch and suddenly jumped up
“Look at the time, I have to go” she flustered
She said she had a prior commitment
“Lunch with mum” she said rather unconvincingly
She said it was something she couldn’t get out of
As I helped her back into her coat the smell of her hair
Evoked memories of our past embraces
She fished out her mobile phone as we left the coffee shop
From her huge handbag and we exchanged phone numbers
And we firmed up the details for the evening
Then with a hug and a kiss she was off
I stood and watched her walk away her coat tails swishing behind her
She stopped briefly and turned to give me a smile and a wave
Then with the phone to her ear she hurried off again talking animatedly
I stood watching until she disappeared from sight
Then I went back to my Christmas shopping
And treated myself to a new shirt for the evening
I bought the gifts I was looking for and paper, tags, cards etc
And with all my shopping complete I returned to the hotel for lunch
The rest of the day seemed intolerably long
In an effort to kill some time I went for a swim
Used the gym, went for a walk
I got a haircut even though I didn’t need one
I even wrapped the Christmas presents I had bought
But the time passed so interminably slowly
I walked into the hotel bar at 7 o’clock an hour early
Partly for some Dutch courage and in part because I had run out of things to do
I ordered a drink and then sat at the bar
Even though I wasn’t expecting her until eight
Every time the door opened I turned to look for her
And when it wasn’t her self doubt crept in
And with every false alarm the doubts got worse
What if she doesn’t come?
What if she changed her mind?
What if she never intended to come?
What if? What if? What if?
Then at a quarter to the hour the door opened and there she was
There she stood wearing a simple black knee length dress
Black tights or stockings and four-inch stiletto shoes
Her legs as shapely as I remembered them
And in one hand she held a black leather clutch bag
Her face looked a little anxious until I stood up
And then it lit up in the most radiant smile
Then she walked towards me
Almost tottering on her heels and she laughed
I took her hand as she climbed onto a stool
And kissed her cheek the fragrance of her perfume was intoxicating
Going straight to my head like a strong spirit
The combination of her scent and my desire for her almost made me swoon
I ordered her a drink and we nervously made small talk
Like two strangers on a blind date
Until the waitress led us through to the restaurant
Once we were seated at our table
I asked her how her lunch with mum went
And she blushed the deepest red
She told me the lunch date was a little white lie
Because she needed the afternoon to get ready
And the animated phone call was to her sister
To rally the troops to get her presentable
We both laughed and any awkwardness was gone
We talked with such an easy familiarity
As if her departing taxi had only been a week ago
By the time we had finished our coffee the restaurant was empty
Except for us and a weary waitress waiting to clear our table
The evening seemed to have passed in the blink of an eye
And had all too soon come to an end
We got up and made our apologies
Linda went through the door to the ladies and I settled the bill
I said good night and had made my apologies again
Then went in search of Linda through the same door she had used
I found her standing by the Christmas tree
She had retrieved her coat and scarf from the cloakroom
Which were draped over one arm her bag was in her hand
Linda stood with her back to me gazing out of the window
She could see my reflection in the glass and smiled
I gasped at the beauty of her and pinched myself again
I wanted to kiss her so much but I was afraid
Afraid to break the magic of that special kiss
That perfect moment when we kissed in the snow
All those years ago when I let her slip from my grasp
For 30 years I had revered that moment
Relived it whenever I felt a snowflake on my skin
Or stood in a taxi queue on a winters night
Or when I hear the Salvation Army play
Or when the snow falls during Christmas time
For 30 years I had wanted to be back there holding her in the snow
And here I stood a few steps away and I was hesitant
As if sensing my turmoil she turned away from the window
And I took those few steps to face her
We stood for a few moments just looking at each other
Then she smiled her most heart melting smile
As she caressed my cheek then she pulled me to her
And kissed me gently on the lips, a tender and sensitive kiss
When our lips met electricity ran down my spine
And it was as if we were young again
Our lips parted for a second then met again
And her kiss became more intense, more passionate
Her coat, scarf and bag fell to the floor as our arms enveloped each other
We stood locked in our passionate embrace as the tree lights twinkled
Then she pulled away for a moment before burying her face in my neck
And spoke softly in my ear “you see that was as good as the first time”
How could I have doubted it would not be perfect?
I slid my fingers beneath her hair caressing her nape
And gently turned her head so I could kiss her sweet lips again
This time when we disengaged she put her head on my chest
Still holding on to me so tightly
I kissed the top of her head and smelled her hair
I didn’t want to let her go, and then I said “please stay”
“I can’t watch you disappear from my life in another taxi”
She lifted her head and looked at me and said
“I’m not letting you go again, not now not ever”
Then she smiled at me coyly and blushed like a virgin
And buried her face in my chest again
Then she scooped up her coat, scarf and bag from the floor
Took my hand and we walked in silence to my room
Outside the room she looked into my eyes and kissed my mouth
Then I opened the door and let her walk inside
She dropped her coat and bag onto a chair and turned to face me
Reached up and wrapped her arms around my neck
And whispered in my ear “I never stopped loving you”
My arms enfolded her and pulled her to me tightly
Then we kissed at first soft and tender then more urgently
And I began to un-wrap my most special Christmas gift
Wrapped in lace and silk instead of paper and ribbon
Caressing her body from neck to Lacy stocking top
And our love was at last made absolute
When our act of love was complete and our dreams realized
We lay holding each other in the afterglow
Silently content until we drifted off to sleep
I awoke to find her stood silhouetted against the window
Gazing out wearing my shirt to cover her nakedness
She turned her head to me and said “it’s snowing”
I slipped out of bed joined her at the window
Standing behind her and enveloping her in my arms
We watched as the snow settled on the courtyard
She hugged my arms and said “How perfect is that”?
Both of us thinking back to the last time we enjoyed the snowfall together
We stood for a few minutes taking in the snowy scene
Then she inclined her head so I could kiss her
When my hands moved from her soft belly and cupped her breasts
She led me back to the bed and we made love again
I woke early and lay in the half light and held Linda’s sleeping form in my arms
As I lay there I thought how good the fates had been to us
If my car hadn’t broken down, and had I not rejected the idea of taking the train
I would not have been shopping on that cold grey morning
I thought about the moments I spent admiring that tree in the square
And listening to the Salvation Army band
And what thought processes made me do what I did
Was it destiny that I chose Woolworths at that very moment or just blind luck?
All I knew was that 24 hours before my life had been so empty
And now it was full and I was finally with my soul mate
Linda was in my life at last and I wanted her never to leave it again
But if fate decreed that this one special night
Was all we could have I would have to be content
With less than a week to go before Christmas
Stranded two hundred miles from home
With a seriously ill car in the garage
And a lack of will to contemplate train travel
In truth I was in no hurry to return home
To the empty soulless house that once was home
But now held no comfort for me
My wife of twenty five years had died a year before
Finally loosing her battle with cancer
And my children were all grown up now
With homes and families of their own
The house would be full at Christmas
Full of noise and hustle and bustle,
And the usual mix of love, laughter and tears
But for now it was cold and empty
So I booked into a hotel for the weekend
And I would drive home on Monday
So finding myself in a strange town
Just a few days before Christmas
And with more than a little time to kill
I decided I could fill part of my day
By doing some last minute Christmas shopping
As I stepped out of the Hotel I shivered
The day was cold, grey and damp
And clouds scudded across the December sky
It was the kind of day that chilled you to the bone
I made my way towards the high street
It was only a five minute walk
The receptionist assured me with a smile
As she jotted down some brief directions
In an effort to warm myself up
I walked briskly following her directions
Down the narrow almost Dickensian lanes and ally ways
Passing picturesque Victorian and Tudor buildings, well mock Tudor
As I went and it was indeed five minutes when I emerged
Onto the busy cobbled pedestrianised high street
It was a curious mixture of ancient and modern
At one end of the street a Norman church was visible
And at the other was what appeared to be a municipal building
With rather pretentious Georgian columns
There was still evidence of a row of Edwardian shop fronts
But much of the street was modern
With a little too much sixties influence to be easy on the eye
The street was criss-crossed along the full length
With festive lights and decorations
Which did there best to brighten the scene
I decided to familiarize my self with what the town had to offer
In the way of shops so I turned left and joined the throng of shoppers
Faces gloomy to match the weather
And headed towards the Georgian pillared building
This turned out to be the public library
As I dodged between the Christmas Lemmings
I made a mental note of shops I would return to
My progress was hampered by erratic shoppers
Who moved it appeared independently to any logic
Some seemed to zigzag everywhere and very few possessed
The ability to walk in a straight line for more than a few paces
And others would take a few steps then stop for no apparent reason
Then after a few moments pause carry on normally in the same direction
The sound of cheery Christmas songs and carols
Could be heard from every shop I passed
Though the cheeriness of the music
Was clearly not reflected on the faces
Of the shoppers going in and out of them
As I passed one shop Noddy Holder screamed “it’s Christmas”
Just in case any of the reluctant shoppers were in any doubt
When I reached the other end of the high street
Where the church stood there was a little square
Which I wasn’t able to see before
In the centre of which was the war memorial
And to its left was a magnificent Christmas tree
Covered in baubles and adorned by a beautiful angel
Assembled around the tree was the Salvation Army band
I took a few moments to admire the tree and listen to the band
And I was taken back to a distant time and place
The clock chimed and I was brought back to the present
I took a few more moments while I decided on my first port of call
Not realizing just how important a decision it was
I decided on Woolworths, always a favorite of mine at Christmas
But it also happened to be the closest
So I walked towards the store and pushed open the door
As I entered I paused to hold the door open for a woman coming the other way
I waited as she put her purse away into a huge handbag
And I wondered what I would get for my trouble
I had found the older I got the less women appreciated courtesy
The simple act of holding open a door could provoke a range of responses
A smile, a thank you, a nod, a sneer, a tut or a colorful mouth full of abuse
And you couldn’t always tell who was going to do what
When she had finished fiddling and securing her bag
She moved to step through the open door
As she passed me she looked up said “Thank you” and smiled broadly
And then she stopped as I returned her smile and then I just stood there
Both of us stood motionless as slowly the recognition set in
We both stood there dumbstruck not believing our eyes
I’m not sure how long for but long enough for a queue to form behind each of us
We both blushed and excused ourselves
And stepped out onto the street away from the door
Neither of us knew what to say I couldn’t believe it was Linda
Who I last saw 30 years before being driven off in a taxi
Disappearing off through the snow
With her palm pressed against the glass her neck craned to keep sight of me
And here she stood before me as beautiful as ever she was
The soft curls of her brown hair still danced on her shoulders
Yet with fine strands of silver threaded thru it
Her smile was still able to melt my heart even after all those years
Her smiling eyes still had the same sparkle
The years had been kind to her and too me much less so
I was still fumbling for the words to say as I studied her
When she reached up and hugged my neck
Kissing my cheek at the same time
And spoke softly in my ear “Paul, Is it really you?”
I simply said yes and we stood in that long comfortable embrace
I don’t know how long we stood there not wanting to let go
Then as she relaxed her grip and I kissed her forehead
“It’s so good too see you” I said feebly
She put her head on my chest, squeezed me and sighed
Then released her grip and pulled away slightly
And put her hand up to my cheek and caressed my grey beard
“Do you have time for coffee”? She said almost pleadingly
I said of course and she put her arm through mine and led me across the high street
Asking quick fire questions as we went
And I explained about my car breaking down
And that I was staying at the Cromwell hotel
She said “oh really” and “oh dear” delighting in my misfortune
We sat on a large comfortable sofa in Starbucks
And told the tales of our lives spent apart
Throughout I looked at her with adoring eyes
Pinching myself expecting to awake from a dream
As I had done so very may times before
I told her about my wife and children
She told me of her marriage and subsequent divorce
The good man I gave her up for turned out to be a violent drunk
She had no children which although unsaid was clearly a regret
With the aid of several cups of coffee we managed to talk away the entire morning
I suggested we might spend the day together
And have dinner together at the hotel
She accepted the invitation to dinner with a delightful smile
Then she looked at her watch and suddenly jumped up
“Look at the time, I have to go” she flustered
She said she had a prior commitment
“Lunch with mum” she said rather unconvincingly
She said it was something she couldn’t get out of
As I helped her back into her coat the smell of her hair
Evoked memories of our past embraces
She fished out her mobile phone as we left the coffee shop
From her huge handbag and we exchanged phone numbers
And we firmed up the details for the evening
Then with a hug and a kiss she was off
I stood and watched her walk away her coat tails swishing behind her
She stopped briefly and turned to give me a smile and a wave
Then with the phone to her ear she hurried off again talking animatedly
I stood watching until she disappeared from sight
Then I went back to my Christmas shopping
And treated myself to a new shirt for the evening
I bought the gifts I was looking for and paper, tags, cards etc
And with all my shopping complete I returned to the hotel for lunch
The rest of the day seemed intolerably long
In an effort to kill some time I went for a swim
Used the gym, went for a walk
I got a haircut even though I didn’t need one
I even wrapped the Christmas presents I had bought
But the time passed so interminably slowly
I walked into the hotel bar at 7 o’clock an hour early
Partly for some Dutch courage and in part because I had run out of things to do
I ordered a drink and then sat at the bar
Even though I wasn’t expecting her until eight
Every time the door opened I turned to look for her
And when it wasn’t her self doubt crept in
And with every false alarm the doubts got worse
What if she doesn’t come?
What if she changed her mind?
What if she never intended to come?
What if? What if? What if?
Then at a quarter to the hour the door opened and there she was
There she stood wearing a simple black knee length dress
Black tights or stockings and four-inch stiletto shoes
Her legs as shapely as I remembered them
And in one hand she held a black leather clutch bag
Her face looked a little anxious until I stood up
And then it lit up in the most radiant smile
Then she walked towards me
Almost tottering on her heels and she laughed
I took her hand as she climbed onto a stool
And kissed her cheek the fragrance of her perfume was intoxicating
Going straight to my head like a strong spirit
The combination of her scent and my desire for her almost made me swoon
I ordered her a drink and we nervously made small talk
Like two strangers on a blind date
Until the waitress led us through to the restaurant
Once we were seated at our table
I asked her how her lunch with mum went
And she blushed the deepest red
She told me the lunch date was a little white lie
Because she needed the afternoon to get ready
And the animated phone call was to her sister
To rally the troops to get her presentable
We both laughed and any awkwardness was gone
We talked with such an easy familiarity
As if her departing taxi had only been a week ago
By the time we had finished our coffee the restaurant was empty
Except for us and a weary waitress waiting to clear our table
The evening seemed to have passed in the blink of an eye
And had all too soon come to an end
We got up and made our apologies
Linda went through the door to the ladies and I settled the bill
I said good night and had made my apologies again
Then went in search of Linda through the same door she had used
I found her standing by the Christmas tree
She had retrieved her coat and scarf from the cloakroom
Which were draped over one arm her bag was in her hand
Linda stood with her back to me gazing out of the window
She could see my reflection in the glass and smiled
I gasped at the beauty of her and pinched myself again
I wanted to kiss her so much but I was afraid
Afraid to break the magic of that special kiss
That perfect moment when we kissed in the snow
All those years ago when I let her slip from my grasp
For 30 years I had revered that moment
Relived it whenever I felt a snowflake on my skin
Or stood in a taxi queue on a winters night
Or when I hear the Salvation Army play
Or when the snow falls during Christmas time
For 30 years I had wanted to be back there holding her in the snow
And here I stood a few steps away and I was hesitant
As if sensing my turmoil she turned away from the window
And I took those few steps to face her
We stood for a few moments just looking at each other
Then she smiled her most heart melting smile
As she caressed my cheek then she pulled me to her
And kissed me gently on the lips, a tender and sensitive kiss
When our lips met electricity ran down my spine
And it was as if we were young again
Our lips parted for a second then met again
And her kiss became more intense, more passionate
Her coat, scarf and bag fell to the floor as our arms enveloped each other
We stood locked in our passionate embrace as the tree lights twinkled
Then she pulled away for a moment before burying her face in my neck
And spoke softly in my ear “you see that was as good as the first time”
How could I have doubted it would not be perfect?
I slid my fingers beneath her hair caressing her nape
And gently turned her head so I could kiss her sweet lips again
This time when we disengaged she put her head on my chest
Still holding on to me so tightly
I kissed the top of her head and smelled her hair
I didn’t want to let her go, and then I said “please stay”
“I can’t watch you disappear from my life in another taxi”
She lifted her head and looked at me and said
“I’m not letting you go again, not now not ever”
Then she smiled at me coyly and blushed like a virgin
And buried her face in my chest again
Then she scooped up her coat, scarf and bag from the floor
Took my hand and we walked in silence to my room
Outside the room she looked into my eyes and kissed my mouth
Then I opened the door and let her walk inside
She dropped her coat and bag onto a chair and turned to face me
Reached up and wrapped her arms around my neck
And whispered in my ear “I never stopped loving you”
My arms enfolded her and pulled her to me tightly
Then we kissed at first soft and tender then more urgently
And I began to un-wrap my most special Christmas gift
Wrapped in lace and silk instead of paper and ribbon
Caressing her body from neck to Lacy stocking top
And our love was at last made absolute
When our act of love was complete and our dreams realized
We lay holding each other in the afterglow
Silently content until we drifted off to sleep
I awoke to find her stood silhouetted against the window
Gazing out wearing my shirt to cover her nakedness
She turned her head to me and said “it’s snowing”
I slipped out of bed joined her at the window
Standing behind her and enveloping her in my arms
We watched as the snow settled on the courtyard
She hugged my arms and said “How perfect is that”?
Both of us thinking back to the last time we enjoyed the snowfall together
We stood for a few minutes taking in the snowy scene
Then she inclined her head so I could kiss her
When my hands moved from her soft belly and cupped her breasts
She led me back to the bed and we made love again
I woke early and lay in the half light and held Linda’s sleeping form in my arms
As I lay there I thought how good the fates had been to us
If my car hadn’t broken down, and had I not rejected the idea of taking the train
I would not have been shopping on that cold grey morning
I thought about the moments I spent admiring that tree in the square
And listening to the Salvation Army band
And what thought processes made me do what I did
Was it destiny that I chose Woolworths at that very moment or just blind luck?
All I knew was that 24 hours before my life had been so empty
And now it was full and I was finally with my soul mate
Linda was in my life at last and I wanted her never to leave it again
But if fate decreed that this one special night
Was all we could have I would have to be content
CHRISTMAS LINDA PART 1 - BRIEF ENCOUNTER
Snow spattered, unseen, against the steamy glass
As the train rattled out of the station
It was a fairly crowded train, but not full
With weary shoppers, shopping bags bursting
And commuting workers the weeks work done
Journeying homeward at the dark days end
A cheerful crowd though
Pleased with themselves bright faced and hearty
Full of seasonal cheer anticipating the holiday
Seemingly oblivious to the drafty carriage
I sat alone and felt lifted by the quiet jolliness
Contemplating the collective countenance
Of the self satisfied passengers
Then she appeared and I was lifted higher
There she was larger than life vivacious and self assured
Covered with snowflakes and laughing to herself
My snow angel, with snow covering her like sugar on a doughnut
Wrapped up against the cold in a woolen hat and coat
And a long knitted scarf draped about her neck
She shook her head and her light brown hair danced about her shoulders
And the snowflakes melted away from her soft curls
There was a rosy redness on her cheeks
Almost matching the hue of her coat
Either from the cold winter evening or a liberal taste of Christmas spirit
A little of both probably
She made her way down the train between the seats
Leaving wet snowflakes in her wake
Full length coat swishing side to side
She moved almost gracelessly, which suited her well
As she tottered a little in her high boots
Perhaps due to the lurching motion of the train
Or the Christmas punch and eggnog
She was still laughing softly to herself which also suited so well
And then she saw me, and her eyes lit up like beacons
Those wonderful sparking laughing eyes
She stopped and stood momentarily open mouthed
Then her smile illuminated the carriage
My heart soared at the sight of her
I returned her smile and she flushed a little deeper red
It had been almost a year since I last saw her
My lovely lost love, Linda
I had locked all my feelings away but now they were back
Like a door had opened in my heart and they all rushed out
And I missed her so much I didn’t know just how much till that moment
We were never lovers, only ever friends
But very special friends very close friends though no more
We laughed a lot together, shared confidences
Best friends but no more than that,
Though I wanted more, so much more
But I didn’t want to lose what we had so I said nothing
I loved her so much, but she was not free for me to love
And Linda was not free to love me even if she wanted
So I contented myself with our special friendship
My unrequited love remained so
If that was all then better that than nothing
I was happy to love her unconditionally
Then circumstances changed, my father died
I had to move away and I didn’t see her again, until now
Now she was in front of me, my angel, larger than life
Smiling, blushing, laughing and so lovely
I stood up and smiled at her again
She threw herself at me and she hugged me so tight
I smelled her hair as I held her and was intoxicated by her scent
All the old feelings flooded back over whelming me
I had often dreamt of being reunited with her
But never in my wildest dreams had I expect such a reaction
Could it be my love was not unrequited?
We sat down on the lumpy seats in the rattling carriage
And were completely alone
We sat looking at each other not wanting to lose sight of one another
In case the spell were broken
She removed a glove and put her hand on mine
As if testing it was not a dream then she slipped her hand into mine
Her delicate fingers so small in my grasp
For the remainder of the journey we reveled in each other’s company
We caught up with the lost months filling in the gaps
Still oblivious to our companions
It was as if we had never been apart
Then the train shook to a halt as all too soon we had arrived
Our fellow travelers rushed off to their Christmases
Reluctantly we left our seats and disembarked arm in arm
Then hand in hand we walked slowly along the platform
Still talking and laughing and then out onto the street
Where the shops were now closing and the town was relatively quiet
From one pub Noddy Holder screamed “it’s Christmas” to the world
Only the pubs and restaurants seemed to hold any attraction to most
But we joined a small group gathered round the Salvation Army band
And joined in with the carol singing in the town square
Before strolling towards the taxi stand
As the snow again fell onto Linda’s soft curls
We took our place in the queue of travelers eager to be home
I was eager to be nowhere else but with her
I shuffled along for the last few steps like a sulky schoolboy
Smiling, Linda turned to face me and kissed me gently on the lips
Such a warm sensitive and tender kiss
When our lips parted she smiled at me coyly
And flushed a deep shade of pink
Then I kissed a snowflake off her nose
Cupping her flushed cheek in my palm I slid my fingers beneath her hair
Caressing the soft downy hair on her nape
And pulled her sweet lips to mine and returned her kiss
Her arms enveloped me holding me so close, so tightly
Not wanting to let go, not wanting to lose what we had found
Not wanting to lose me again
We stood locked in our embrace as the snow fell softly on the scene
She pulled away for a moment then buried her face in my neck
And spoke “I’ve missed you so much, I’ve missed your love for me”
I had waited so long for this moment waited so long to here those words
To hear my love returned and then we kissed again
Cabs arrived and departed through the slush
The queue around us just kept moving as if unaware of our love
After a while we moved from the queue sat on a bench and talked
My love was not unrequited after all she felt the same for me
She had always done so yet still she was not free
She was torn between the two of us
Torn between the comfortable familiarity for a good man
A loyal and dependable man, safety
And the passion she felt for a soul mate
It wasn’t fair on him he hadn’t done anything wrong
I had been on the receiving end of that kind of pain
And I found myself unable to inflict it onto another
So our love had to be a forbidden one
Best friends no more, I wanted more, so much more
And could not content myself with a special friendship
Now I knew my love was not unrequited
There was no going back, now Pandora’s Box had been opened
But at least now I knew she loved me
With the same depth as I loved her
We walked back to the taxi rank and kissed again in the snow
All too soon she got into a taxi
And through the winter wonderland departed taking my love with her
With her palm pressed against the glass she craned her neck to keep sight of me
Through the snow spattered window until the very last moment
Till the cab had gone out of sight
She was gone from my arms, gone from my view, gone from my life
But a Christmas happening had changed my life forever
A brief encounter, fleeting, here and then gone
Her scent still in my nostrils, the taste of joy on my lips
My soul mate gone forever, yet forever in my memory, forever in my heart
I would never see her again and moved away in the New Year
Making a life elsewhere but I never forgot her
And when on a winter’s night I hear the “Sally army” play
Or when the snow falls during Christmas time
Or I feel a snowflake on my skin
I feel her small hand in mine and then she is once again in my arms
And I smell her soft brown hair and the taste of her is on my lips
I hear her say “I love you” and she is mine forever
As the train rattled out of the station
It was a fairly crowded train, but not full
With weary shoppers, shopping bags bursting
And commuting workers the weeks work done
Journeying homeward at the dark days end
A cheerful crowd though
Pleased with themselves bright faced and hearty
Full of seasonal cheer anticipating the holiday
Seemingly oblivious to the drafty carriage
I sat alone and felt lifted by the quiet jolliness
Contemplating the collective countenance
Of the self satisfied passengers
Then she appeared and I was lifted higher
There she was larger than life vivacious and self assured
Covered with snowflakes and laughing to herself
My snow angel, with snow covering her like sugar on a doughnut
Wrapped up against the cold in a woolen hat and coat
And a long knitted scarf draped about her neck
She shook her head and her light brown hair danced about her shoulders
And the snowflakes melted away from her soft curls
There was a rosy redness on her cheeks
Almost matching the hue of her coat
Either from the cold winter evening or a liberal taste of Christmas spirit
A little of both probably
She made her way down the train between the seats
Leaving wet snowflakes in her wake
Full length coat swishing side to side
She moved almost gracelessly, which suited her well
As she tottered a little in her high boots
Perhaps due to the lurching motion of the train
Or the Christmas punch and eggnog
She was still laughing softly to herself which also suited so well
And then she saw me, and her eyes lit up like beacons
Those wonderful sparking laughing eyes
She stopped and stood momentarily open mouthed
Then her smile illuminated the carriage
My heart soared at the sight of her
I returned her smile and she flushed a little deeper red
It had been almost a year since I last saw her
My lovely lost love, Linda
I had locked all my feelings away but now they were back
Like a door had opened in my heart and they all rushed out
And I missed her so much I didn’t know just how much till that moment
We were never lovers, only ever friends
But very special friends very close friends though no more
We laughed a lot together, shared confidences
Best friends but no more than that,
Though I wanted more, so much more
But I didn’t want to lose what we had so I said nothing
I loved her so much, but she was not free for me to love
And Linda was not free to love me even if she wanted
So I contented myself with our special friendship
My unrequited love remained so
If that was all then better that than nothing
I was happy to love her unconditionally
Then circumstances changed, my father died
I had to move away and I didn’t see her again, until now
Now she was in front of me, my angel, larger than life
Smiling, blushing, laughing and so lovely
I stood up and smiled at her again
She threw herself at me and she hugged me so tight
I smelled her hair as I held her and was intoxicated by her scent
All the old feelings flooded back over whelming me
I had often dreamt of being reunited with her
But never in my wildest dreams had I expect such a reaction
Could it be my love was not unrequited?
We sat down on the lumpy seats in the rattling carriage
And were completely alone
We sat looking at each other not wanting to lose sight of one another
In case the spell were broken
She removed a glove and put her hand on mine
As if testing it was not a dream then she slipped her hand into mine
Her delicate fingers so small in my grasp
For the remainder of the journey we reveled in each other’s company
We caught up with the lost months filling in the gaps
Still oblivious to our companions
It was as if we had never been apart
Then the train shook to a halt as all too soon we had arrived
Our fellow travelers rushed off to their Christmases
Reluctantly we left our seats and disembarked arm in arm
Then hand in hand we walked slowly along the platform
Still talking and laughing and then out onto the street
Where the shops were now closing and the town was relatively quiet
From one pub Noddy Holder screamed “it’s Christmas” to the world
Only the pubs and restaurants seemed to hold any attraction to most
But we joined a small group gathered round the Salvation Army band
And joined in with the carol singing in the town square
Before strolling towards the taxi stand
As the snow again fell onto Linda’s soft curls
We took our place in the queue of travelers eager to be home
I was eager to be nowhere else but with her
I shuffled along for the last few steps like a sulky schoolboy
Smiling, Linda turned to face me and kissed me gently on the lips
Such a warm sensitive and tender kiss
When our lips parted she smiled at me coyly
And flushed a deep shade of pink
Then I kissed a snowflake off her nose
Cupping her flushed cheek in my palm I slid my fingers beneath her hair
Caressing the soft downy hair on her nape
And pulled her sweet lips to mine and returned her kiss
Her arms enveloped me holding me so close, so tightly
Not wanting to let go, not wanting to lose what we had found
Not wanting to lose me again
We stood locked in our embrace as the snow fell softly on the scene
She pulled away for a moment then buried her face in my neck
And spoke “I’ve missed you so much, I’ve missed your love for me”
I had waited so long for this moment waited so long to here those words
To hear my love returned and then we kissed again
Cabs arrived and departed through the slush
The queue around us just kept moving as if unaware of our love
After a while we moved from the queue sat on a bench and talked
My love was not unrequited after all she felt the same for me
She had always done so yet still she was not free
She was torn between the two of us
Torn between the comfortable familiarity for a good man
A loyal and dependable man, safety
And the passion she felt for a soul mate
It wasn’t fair on him he hadn’t done anything wrong
I had been on the receiving end of that kind of pain
And I found myself unable to inflict it onto another
So our love had to be a forbidden one
Best friends no more, I wanted more, so much more
And could not content myself with a special friendship
Now I knew my love was not unrequited
There was no going back, now Pandora’s Box had been opened
But at least now I knew she loved me
With the same depth as I loved her
We walked back to the taxi rank and kissed again in the snow
All too soon she got into a taxi
And through the winter wonderland departed taking my love with her
With her palm pressed against the glass she craned her neck to keep sight of me
Through the snow spattered window until the very last moment
Till the cab had gone out of sight
She was gone from my arms, gone from my view, gone from my life
But a Christmas happening had changed my life forever
A brief encounter, fleeting, here and then gone
Her scent still in my nostrils, the taste of joy on my lips
My soul mate gone forever, yet forever in my memory, forever in my heart
I would never see her again and moved away in the New Year
Making a life elsewhere but I never forgot her
And when on a winter’s night I hear the “Sally army” play
Or when the snow falls during Christmas time
Or I feel a snowflake on my skin
I feel her small hand in mine and then she is once again in my arms
And I smell her soft brown hair and the taste of her is on my lips
I hear her say “I love you” and she is mine forever
STUDENT PROTESTS
STUDENT PROTESTS # 1
Students should be applauded
We should stand and raise our glasses
To applaud the lazy, pretentious, self-absorbed wasters
For getting up off their collective arses
STUDENT PROTESTS # 2
Most of them missed an episode of countdown
Some left home halfway through cash in the attic
What could have stirred them from their apathy?
Something momentous or, earth shatteringly dramatic
Well sadly nothing noble or for the common good
It was just an excuse for them to break the law
The Nett result is an even greater burden on the public purse
Ensuring the next generation will pay even more
STUDENT PROTESTS # 3
I feel as a conservative voter
I must apologize to the young
Particularly those of the middle class
Whose university worries have really begun
As they now face an uncertain future
For when their student loans are spent
The cost of their degrees will make them
Ever so very slightly less affluent
STUDENT PROTESTS # 4
“It’s only right that the state should pay”
“Its society that benefits” you will hear them say
The overburdened tax payer has other ideas
The student’s plight is the least of his fears
“It’s them who benefit at the end of the day
So why on earth shouldn’t they pay their way?”
“It’s just so unfair to students who are poor”
Say the students doing medicine and law
It’s hard to sympathise when you hear that
When it’s coming from the mouth of a spoilt brat
Students should be applauded
We should stand and raise our glasses
To applaud the lazy, pretentious, self-absorbed wasters
For getting up off their collective arses
STUDENT PROTESTS # 2
Most of them missed an episode of countdown
Some left home halfway through cash in the attic
What could have stirred them from their apathy?
Something momentous or, earth shatteringly dramatic
Well sadly nothing noble or for the common good
It was just an excuse for them to break the law
The Nett result is an even greater burden on the public purse
Ensuring the next generation will pay even more
STUDENT PROTESTS # 3
I feel as a conservative voter
I must apologize to the young
Particularly those of the middle class
Whose university worries have really begun
As they now face an uncertain future
For when their student loans are spent
The cost of their degrees will make them
Ever so very slightly less affluent
STUDENT PROTESTS # 4
“It’s only right that the state should pay”
“Its society that benefits” you will hear them say
The overburdened tax payer has other ideas
The student’s plight is the least of his fears
“It’s them who benefit at the end of the day
So why on earth shouldn’t they pay their way?”
“It’s just so unfair to students who are poor”
Say the students doing medicine and law
It’s hard to sympathise when you hear that
When it’s coming from the mouth of a spoilt brat
Friday, 5 November 2010
BONFIRE NIGHT
ST CATHERINE’S WHEEL
On bonfire night
Across the land
Fireworks will be lit
By unthinking hand
And when you watch
The Catherine wheels
Spiral of fire
How do you feel?
Is it exiting to watch?
Does it inspire?
As it spins and spins
The wheel of fire
Catherine was a saint
Who died on the wheel
Didn’t you know?
Now how do you feel?
It was an instrument
Of torture and pain
Think about that
As it spins round again
BONFIRE NIGHT
Remember, remember
The fifth of November
When gunpowder smoke fills the air
What a quaintly British affair
Gathering with friends and family
And oohing and aahing with glee
The heat from the fire is hellish
As Hotdogs are eaten with relish
But as another hot chocolate you drink
If you took just a moment to think
Ask how such traditions thrive?
As you symbolically burn a man alive
REMEMBER, REMEMBER THE FIFTH OF NOVEMBER
Remember, remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot
For that was the day Guy Fawkes failed
To blow up the bloody lot
On bonfire night
Across the land
Fireworks will be lit
By unthinking hand
And when you watch
The Catherine wheels
Spiral of fire
How do you feel?
Is it exiting to watch?
Does it inspire?
As it spins and spins
The wheel of fire
Catherine was a saint
Who died on the wheel
Didn’t you know?
Now how do you feel?
It was an instrument
Of torture and pain
Think about that
As it spins round again
BONFIRE NIGHT
Remember, remember
The fifth of November
When gunpowder smoke fills the air
What a quaintly British affair
Gathering with friends and family
And oohing and aahing with glee
The heat from the fire is hellish
As Hotdogs are eaten with relish
But as another hot chocolate you drink
If you took just a moment to think
Ask how such traditions thrive?
As you symbolically burn a man alive
REMEMBER, REMEMBER THE FIFTH OF NOVEMBER
Remember, remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot
For that was the day Guy Fawkes failed
To blow up the bloody lot
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
Love And Relationships # 3
DENISE, DENISE
Denise was a strawberry blonde
Beautiful and bubbly
Tall and statuesque
Built for comfort
Gloriously curvaceous
Big soft and round
Amply proportioned
Everywhere that was important
Her body was like a rollercoaster
You could never tire of riding
More exhilarating than a theme park ride
And more worthy of a queue
A breathtaking experience
A quivering delight
Of erotic pleasure
DRAB DOREEN
My memory takes me back
To a time when I was young
And I was pleasurably distracted by Doreen
Dear Doreen who people rather unkindly called plain
True her face was heavily freckled
And she rarely wore any makeup
But her eyes were the most dazzling blue and always smiled
Her hair was straight and chestnut brown
She was a skinny little thing and flat chested
But with the most exquisite bottom
I don’t know why people thought her plain
Maybe it’s because Doreen is a plain sounding name
I know one thing that is true
They would never have called her plain
If they had seen her in the bedroom
LOVE AT ITS ZENITH
She looked at me
With those wondrous eyes
Mysterious bright blue eyes,
That could see inside my soul
Then she gave me one of her smiles,
A truly amazing smile
That says hold me close,
Kiss me, stroke my hair,
You’ll never have too miss me.
Then we embraced
A wonderful sensual embrace
Where we seem to merge into one entity
Then as we part she smiles another smile,
Which speaks another language,
And she leads me off to bed
Where we melt together in passionate congress
And love reaches its zenith
Afterwards in the afterglow
She wears contentment on her face
And her cheek bares a rosy blush
As she lies draped across me
Like a robe of exquisite silk
I love it when she lies beside me in bed,
I love her breath on my skin
And the smell of her hair
But most of all
I love her loving me
THE CUTE RED HEAD
I sit in the beer garden
Not because I wanted a drink
Or because it was a nice day
But because I wanted to see her
I didn’t know her name
I just knew her as the cute red head
The girl with the open smiling face
And the full bountiful lips
Jade green eyes, and of course the red hair
I’m really rather sad
To come to the same ghastly pub,
To drink luke warm beer each day
Just for a glimpse of an angel
FIONA
I first met Fiona at a Christmas party
A beautiful woman in a young girl’s body
Fiona was far more mature than her years
And she chose me that night
Despite a host of more suitable suitors
And we danced into the night
Her firm body pressed against mine
Her intoxicating scent enveloping me
Arms clinging tightly to me
Her breath against my neck
In full view of envious eyes
And later in passionate embrace
Just the two of us in the darkness
As I kissed her goodnight
TOMBOY
Hey pretty girl, yes I’m talking to you
Don’t think you can keep hidden from view
You may try to hide in your tomboy guise
But I can see you; I can see the hidden prize
You may dress in oversized jeans and a baggy T
And try to hide yourself in shapeless anonymity
But I can see the real you beneath the scruffy hair
I can see the pretty girl who’s hiding in there
You’ll come out soon and everyone will see
The girl inside the tomboy who will marry me
OF COURSE, YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU
Of course, you know I love you
And how much you mean to me
Of course you must know
It must be plain for you to see
Ok It's not every day that I tell you
And I would if I didn’t think you knew
It’s obvious so you must know
Exactly how much I love you
I know I don’t say it in so many words
Ok I don’t ever say it to you
But that just because I thought you knew
How much I’m in love with you
FLUFFY AND SWEET
We were an innocent couple,
We were naively sweet
Fluffy and soft
Embarking on a great love
We were an unremarkable couple
Just a couple of lovebirds
Sharing secrets, passing notes
We were an uncomplicated couple
I loved her and she loved me
And we just wanted to hold hands
And always be together
Fluffy and sweet,
Coyly smiling
Making wishes
And stealing kisses
We were an unbreakable couple
When we were seven
Denise was a strawberry blonde
Beautiful and bubbly
Tall and statuesque
Built for comfort
Gloriously curvaceous
Big soft and round
Amply proportioned
Everywhere that was important
Her body was like a rollercoaster
You could never tire of riding
More exhilarating than a theme park ride
And more worthy of a queue
A breathtaking experience
A quivering delight
Of erotic pleasure
DRAB DOREEN
My memory takes me back
To a time when I was young
And I was pleasurably distracted by Doreen
Dear Doreen who people rather unkindly called plain
True her face was heavily freckled
And she rarely wore any makeup
But her eyes were the most dazzling blue and always smiled
Her hair was straight and chestnut brown
She was a skinny little thing and flat chested
But with the most exquisite bottom
I don’t know why people thought her plain
Maybe it’s because Doreen is a plain sounding name
I know one thing that is true
They would never have called her plain
If they had seen her in the bedroom
LOVE AT ITS ZENITH
She looked at me
With those wondrous eyes
Mysterious bright blue eyes,
That could see inside my soul
Then she gave me one of her smiles,
A truly amazing smile
That says hold me close,
Kiss me, stroke my hair,
You’ll never have too miss me.
Then we embraced
A wonderful sensual embrace
Where we seem to merge into one entity
Then as we part she smiles another smile,
Which speaks another language,
And she leads me off to bed
Where we melt together in passionate congress
And love reaches its zenith
Afterwards in the afterglow
She wears contentment on her face
And her cheek bares a rosy blush
As she lies draped across me
Like a robe of exquisite silk
I love it when she lies beside me in bed,
I love her breath on my skin
And the smell of her hair
But most of all
I love her loving me
THE CUTE RED HEAD
I sit in the beer garden
Not because I wanted a drink
Or because it was a nice day
But because I wanted to see her
I didn’t know her name
I just knew her as the cute red head
The girl with the open smiling face
And the full bountiful lips
Jade green eyes, and of course the red hair
I’m really rather sad
To come to the same ghastly pub,
To drink luke warm beer each day
Just for a glimpse of an angel
FIONA
I first met Fiona at a Christmas party
A beautiful woman in a young girl’s body
Fiona was far more mature than her years
And she chose me that night
Despite a host of more suitable suitors
And we danced into the night
Her firm body pressed against mine
Her intoxicating scent enveloping me
Arms clinging tightly to me
Her breath against my neck
In full view of envious eyes
And later in passionate embrace
Just the two of us in the darkness
As I kissed her goodnight
TOMBOY
Hey pretty girl, yes I’m talking to you
Don’t think you can keep hidden from view
You may try to hide in your tomboy guise
But I can see you; I can see the hidden prize
You may dress in oversized jeans and a baggy T
And try to hide yourself in shapeless anonymity
But I can see the real you beneath the scruffy hair
I can see the pretty girl who’s hiding in there
You’ll come out soon and everyone will see
The girl inside the tomboy who will marry me
OF COURSE, YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU
Of course, you know I love you
And how much you mean to me
Of course you must know
It must be plain for you to see
Ok It's not every day that I tell you
And I would if I didn’t think you knew
It’s obvious so you must know
Exactly how much I love you
I know I don’t say it in so many words
Ok I don’t ever say it to you
But that just because I thought you knew
How much I’m in love with you
FLUFFY AND SWEET
We were an innocent couple,
We were naively sweet
Fluffy and soft
Embarking on a great love
We were an unremarkable couple
Just a couple of lovebirds
Sharing secrets, passing notes
We were an uncomplicated couple
I loved her and she loved me
And we just wanted to hold hands
And always be together
Fluffy and sweet,
Coyly smiling
Making wishes
And stealing kisses
We were an unbreakable couple
When we were seven
Love And Relationships # 2
VITAL STATISTICS
I don’t want gimcrack
I don’t want a big rack
I don’t mind frumpy
Though I’m not keen on grumpy
She can have an ordinary face
And two left feet and lack any grace
I don’t even care about her age
And her favourite colour can be beige
I don’t care if she wears specs
But I do want a girl with self respect
And inside a beautiful spirit
That’s the type of girl who’ll fit
THE WAY INTO MY HEART
The way into my heart
Is not with silver or gold
Nor money or jewels
Or five star dining
Expensive sports cars
And holidays abroad
It’s nothing of material worth
The way into my heart
Is a gesture of kindness
An unselfish act
You holding my hand
And gazing into my eyes
It’s a gentle caress
It’s simply being you
ANNIE’S SONG
You were so self conscious
Yet you never saw the beauty in yourself
The beautiful brunette hair
That framed your lovely face
Which you thought lank and lifeless
Your fabulous legs that so often were hidden away
Which you thought were unsightly and fat
Your intoxicating laugh
That you heard as a cackle
The tiny scar on your cheek,
That went red when you drank too much
We could only see it if you pointed it out
You always thought yourself ordinary
Nothing could have been further from the truth
You were beauty personified
And my biggest regret
Is that I missed my chance
I dithered and dawdled
And I lost you to another
HOW DO I KNOW I’M IN YOUR HEART?
How do I know I’m in your heart?
It’s feeling your hand in mine
And hearing your sighs
It’s a knowing smile on your face
A glance with libidinous eyes
And a maidens blush
It’s being close to you
Being alone with you
Even in a crowd
It’s every look and gesture
It’s in every nuance
Every unsaid word
That tells me I’m in your heart
POTHERING
He was in such a pother
Such was the lot of the suitor
For he was to ask for his lady’s hand
Well that was what he had planned
But he was in such a nervous state
He couldn’t get his head straight
He was sure she would be receptive
But signs can be deceptive
So he resolved to do what was planned
And ask for his lady’s hand
Although to be perfectly fare
He was more interested in the rest of her
A THOUSAND MIRRORED FRAGMENTS
The special love we once shared
Has gone forever, disintegrated
Smashed into a thousand pieces
Impossible to reassemble, beyond repair
Shattered into a thousand mirrored fragments
Each piece reflecting back another painfully memory
Stabbing at my heart like hot needles
Each shard a reminder of your betrayal
SCANNING THE ROOM
A rather tall, elegant woman
Entered the room
And made a quick appraisal
Of those in her presence
The look she gave my way
Needed no vocalization
She had no need to say “ugh”
The look made redundant
Any need of an exclamation of disgust
The haughty expression
And the inclination of her head,
The involuntary sneer
Spoke volumes as to her disposition
Which was fine by me
Because I liked the look of her mate
BURNING LOVE
Emblazoned on my heart
Seared into my soul
The fire of love burns within
Please don’t extinguish
This fire in my soul
Don’t add another scar
To my tortured heart
Scar upon vivid scar
Keep the embers aglow
Let our love forever burn
OH CLAIR
10cc’s “I’m not in love” was playing
And our bodies were gently swaying
Meaningless words because we were in love
I was the hand and Clair was the glove
Our bodies moved together as if we were one
Still together long after the song was done
Our lips came together our hands caressed
Swaying to the music our bodies tight pressed
Clair and I at the disco kissing in the dark
Later under the moon we made love in the park
PLAYING AROUND
She was my little sex kitten
Lively and playful
Very kittenish indeed
I had long hankered after her
With her Reassuring curvaceousness
And the feeling was apparently mutual.
She had a liking for the open air
And a penchant for the dangerous
So while her husband played 18 holes
We played around
And made love in the long grass
Beside the eighteenth green
I don’t want gimcrack
I don’t want a big rack
I don’t mind frumpy
Though I’m not keen on grumpy
She can have an ordinary face
And two left feet and lack any grace
I don’t even care about her age
And her favourite colour can be beige
I don’t care if she wears specs
But I do want a girl with self respect
And inside a beautiful spirit
That’s the type of girl who’ll fit
THE WAY INTO MY HEART
The way into my heart
Is not with silver or gold
Nor money or jewels
Or five star dining
Expensive sports cars
And holidays abroad
It’s nothing of material worth
The way into my heart
Is a gesture of kindness
An unselfish act
You holding my hand
And gazing into my eyes
It’s a gentle caress
It’s simply being you
ANNIE’S SONG
You were so self conscious
Yet you never saw the beauty in yourself
The beautiful brunette hair
That framed your lovely face
Which you thought lank and lifeless
Your fabulous legs that so often were hidden away
Which you thought were unsightly and fat
Your intoxicating laugh
That you heard as a cackle
The tiny scar on your cheek,
That went red when you drank too much
We could only see it if you pointed it out
You always thought yourself ordinary
Nothing could have been further from the truth
You were beauty personified
And my biggest regret
Is that I missed my chance
I dithered and dawdled
And I lost you to another
HOW DO I KNOW I’M IN YOUR HEART?
How do I know I’m in your heart?
It’s feeling your hand in mine
And hearing your sighs
It’s a knowing smile on your face
A glance with libidinous eyes
And a maidens blush
It’s being close to you
Being alone with you
Even in a crowd
It’s every look and gesture
It’s in every nuance
Every unsaid word
That tells me I’m in your heart
POTHERING
He was in such a pother
Such was the lot of the suitor
For he was to ask for his lady’s hand
Well that was what he had planned
But he was in such a nervous state
He couldn’t get his head straight
He was sure she would be receptive
But signs can be deceptive
So he resolved to do what was planned
And ask for his lady’s hand
Although to be perfectly fare
He was more interested in the rest of her
A THOUSAND MIRRORED FRAGMENTS
The special love we once shared
Has gone forever, disintegrated
Smashed into a thousand pieces
Impossible to reassemble, beyond repair
Shattered into a thousand mirrored fragments
Each piece reflecting back another painfully memory
Stabbing at my heart like hot needles
Each shard a reminder of your betrayal
SCANNING THE ROOM
A rather tall, elegant woman
Entered the room
And made a quick appraisal
Of those in her presence
The look she gave my way
Needed no vocalization
She had no need to say “ugh”
The look made redundant
Any need of an exclamation of disgust
The haughty expression
And the inclination of her head,
The involuntary sneer
Spoke volumes as to her disposition
Which was fine by me
Because I liked the look of her mate
BURNING LOVE
Emblazoned on my heart
Seared into my soul
The fire of love burns within
Please don’t extinguish
This fire in my soul
Don’t add another scar
To my tortured heart
Scar upon vivid scar
Keep the embers aglow
Let our love forever burn
OH CLAIR
10cc’s “I’m not in love” was playing
And our bodies were gently swaying
Meaningless words because we were in love
I was the hand and Clair was the glove
Our bodies moved together as if we were one
Still together long after the song was done
Our lips came together our hands caressed
Swaying to the music our bodies tight pressed
Clair and I at the disco kissing in the dark
Later under the moon we made love in the park
PLAYING AROUND
She was my little sex kitten
Lively and playful
Very kittenish indeed
I had long hankered after her
With her Reassuring curvaceousness
And the feeling was apparently mutual.
She had a liking for the open air
And a penchant for the dangerous
So while her husband played 18 holes
We played around
And made love in the long grass
Beside the eighteenth green
Love And Relationships # 1
UXORICIDE
When did the love die?
At what moment
Did love turn to odium
Was it that, once too often
He smelt the stench
Of ardours odour upon her
The smell of another man
On her clothes,
On her skin
That made him snap
Making him commit uxoricide
Snuffing out the life
Of his unfaithful wife
LONELY GIRL
They call you lonely girl
Because you are a girl
And you are always alone
But are you really a lonely girl?
Or are you happy where you are?
Living inside yourself
Alone and self contained
Are you content to be alone?
Defying us all for our conceit
Do you look upon us?
Thinking us odd for our neediness
Needing to be noticed
Needing to be wanted
Needing to love and be loved
They call you lonely girl
And await the day
When your abject unhappiness
Will cause you to merely fade away
Out of your lonely existence
Or for you to succumb to the solitude
And end your bitter life
Dying as you lived, alone
But you don’t look sad
Nor unhappy with your lot
You look serene and at peace
So be content, lonely girl
LITTLE ANGEL
I am in love with a little angel
Who I see at the bus stop each day
It’s been more than a year now
But I can never find the words to say
And if I could, should I say them?
Or should I keep my feelings to myself
Never speaking my love aloud
And spend my lifetime on the shelf
Maybe some day I will tell her
Of the deep love that I conceal
But I think that she will laugh at me
If I dared to tell her how I feel.
So each morning I will smile
At my sweet angel so petite
And not speak to her of love
But stare nervously at my feet
WHENEVER YOU FEEL SAD AND LONELY
Whenever you feel sad and lonely
And the days are cold and grey
Think of me and the love we had
That filled our hearts each day
Whenever you feel life get you down
And you feel alone and scared
Think of me and the love we had
And the happy moments that we shared
Whenever you feel you can’t go on
And you feel weighed down with pain
Picture me standing at your side
And you will feel strong again
Whenever you feel sad and lonely
And the days are cold and grey
Just remember what I told you
I’m with you in spirit every day
DELIRIUM
I have been struck down by delirium
I am restless and unable to focus
I try to read a book
And read the same paragraph repeatedly
I am in a state of confusion
One minute I am sure of something
The next moment I’m not
And sometimes I hallucinate
I think I see something or someone
I’ve looked it up online
I have all the symptoms of delirium
But none of the causes
I don’t have a fever
Nor have I been poisoned
And I’m pretty sure
I don’t have a brain injury
No I have to face facts
I either have a brain tumour
Or I’m in love
I don’t know which is worse
BLISS
When we are apart
I love the way you miss me
And when we reunite
I love the way you kiss me
You love, care and nurture me
You can’t do more than this for me
I give my heart and soul to you
I love you oh so blissfully
QUEEN OF THE SPANISH MAIN
Like a buccaneer
Sailing the Spanish main
The vivacious creature
Swept into my life
And like a pirate
Went for my treasure trove
Pillaging my heart
And stealing it away
Leaving my soul in chains
And my coffers empty
I SAW YOU IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT TODAY
I saw you in a different light today
A dazzling light of femininity
You were not the normal little tomboy
In the cargo pants and baggy “T”
The usual beaten up old trainers
Had been replaced by four inch heals
Which shaped your normally hidden legs
Whose black clad debut certainly appealed
The sheer black of your stocking-ed legs
Disappeared beneath the tailored hem
Of a skirt that fitted hitherto, unknown curves
Accentuating hips, thighs and of course them
Tucked into the tiniest of waistbands
Was a crisp white blouse tailored to fit
Buttoned at the wrist and open at the neck
Three undone buttons so that it gaped a bit
I saw you in a different light today
Where you emerged from tomboy obscurity
Causing heads to turn and eyes to stare
And thoughts were those of impurity
LOVER’S MOON
The night was of crystal clarity
No clouds obscured the stars
A new moon graced the sky
And the lover’s moon was ours
A shooting star crossed the sky
And we both made a wish
Then I held you in embrace
And we shared our first kiss
THE DAWN OF UNDERSTANDING
Dawn was a Glaswegian lassie
With the broadest accent
Which made it difficult when she spoke
To understand what was meant
This was exacerbated
By a lisp and a stutter
And because she didn’t open her mouth very wide
She had a tendency to mutter
As a result I couldn’t understand her
Apart from when she said yes or no
But despite all of that
We went out for three months or so
When did the love die?
At what moment
Did love turn to odium
Was it that, once too often
He smelt the stench
Of ardours odour upon her
The smell of another man
On her clothes,
On her skin
That made him snap
Making him commit uxoricide
Snuffing out the life
Of his unfaithful wife
LONELY GIRL
They call you lonely girl
Because you are a girl
And you are always alone
But are you really a lonely girl?
Or are you happy where you are?
Living inside yourself
Alone and self contained
Are you content to be alone?
Defying us all for our conceit
Do you look upon us?
Thinking us odd for our neediness
Needing to be noticed
Needing to be wanted
Needing to love and be loved
They call you lonely girl
And await the day
When your abject unhappiness
Will cause you to merely fade away
Out of your lonely existence
Or for you to succumb to the solitude
And end your bitter life
Dying as you lived, alone
But you don’t look sad
Nor unhappy with your lot
You look serene and at peace
So be content, lonely girl
LITTLE ANGEL
I am in love with a little angel
Who I see at the bus stop each day
It’s been more than a year now
But I can never find the words to say
And if I could, should I say them?
Or should I keep my feelings to myself
Never speaking my love aloud
And spend my lifetime on the shelf
Maybe some day I will tell her
Of the deep love that I conceal
But I think that she will laugh at me
If I dared to tell her how I feel.
So each morning I will smile
At my sweet angel so petite
And not speak to her of love
But stare nervously at my feet
WHENEVER YOU FEEL SAD AND LONELY
Whenever you feel sad and lonely
And the days are cold and grey
Think of me and the love we had
That filled our hearts each day
Whenever you feel life get you down
And you feel alone and scared
Think of me and the love we had
And the happy moments that we shared
Whenever you feel you can’t go on
And you feel weighed down with pain
Picture me standing at your side
And you will feel strong again
Whenever you feel sad and lonely
And the days are cold and grey
Just remember what I told you
I’m with you in spirit every day
DELIRIUM
I have been struck down by delirium
I am restless and unable to focus
I try to read a book
And read the same paragraph repeatedly
I am in a state of confusion
One minute I am sure of something
The next moment I’m not
And sometimes I hallucinate
I think I see something or someone
I’ve looked it up online
I have all the symptoms of delirium
But none of the causes
I don’t have a fever
Nor have I been poisoned
And I’m pretty sure
I don’t have a brain injury
No I have to face facts
I either have a brain tumour
Or I’m in love
I don’t know which is worse
BLISS
When we are apart
I love the way you miss me
And when we reunite
I love the way you kiss me
You love, care and nurture me
You can’t do more than this for me
I give my heart and soul to you
I love you oh so blissfully
QUEEN OF THE SPANISH MAIN
Like a buccaneer
Sailing the Spanish main
The vivacious creature
Swept into my life
And like a pirate
Went for my treasure trove
Pillaging my heart
And stealing it away
Leaving my soul in chains
And my coffers empty
I SAW YOU IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT TODAY
I saw you in a different light today
A dazzling light of femininity
You were not the normal little tomboy
In the cargo pants and baggy “T”
The usual beaten up old trainers
Had been replaced by four inch heals
Which shaped your normally hidden legs
Whose black clad debut certainly appealed
The sheer black of your stocking-ed legs
Disappeared beneath the tailored hem
Of a skirt that fitted hitherto, unknown curves
Accentuating hips, thighs and of course them
Tucked into the tiniest of waistbands
Was a crisp white blouse tailored to fit
Buttoned at the wrist and open at the neck
Three undone buttons so that it gaped a bit
I saw you in a different light today
Where you emerged from tomboy obscurity
Causing heads to turn and eyes to stare
And thoughts were those of impurity
LOVER’S MOON
The night was of crystal clarity
No clouds obscured the stars
A new moon graced the sky
And the lover’s moon was ours
A shooting star crossed the sky
And we both made a wish
Then I held you in embrace
And we shared our first kiss
THE DAWN OF UNDERSTANDING
Dawn was a Glaswegian lassie
With the broadest accent
Which made it difficult when she spoke
To understand what was meant
This was exacerbated
By a lisp and a stutter
And because she didn’t open her mouth very wide
She had a tendency to mutter
As a result I couldn’t understand her
Apart from when she said yes or no
But despite all of that
We went out for three months or so
Thursday, 28 October 2010
HALLOWEEN POEMS
TERROR THREAT
I wear a funny wig
My sister has a mask
We are well disguised
To go about our task
To have fun with our friends
Collecting Candy to eat
As we terrorise the neighbours
As we go “trick or treat”
YOU’RE NEVER TOO OLD FOR HALLOWEEN
It was a really spooky night
And I saw a very scary sight
We had been out “trick or treating”
And got home and started freaking
My parents were dressed as witches
Both were without their breeches
And my mum, not a natural blonde
Was playing with my fathers wand
GHOSTS AND GHOULS COME OUT
On Halloween, all hallows eve
Ghosts and ghouls come out
But not to do their evil work
They just want to stroll about
They can mix with the living
At this one time of the year
And not be discovered
Or cause screams of fear
They just mingle with fleshies
All through Halloween night
Enjoying the company
But are gone by first light
THOSE LITTLE DARLINGS
Those little darlings
With their angelic eyes
Look harmless enough
But beneath their disguise
They’re nothing but thugs
With pure evil intent
These spawn of Satan
Are not heaven sent
These foul blackguards
Going about their sport
They say “Trick or treat”
As they happily extort
They squirt fake blood
On my front door
They egg my new car
I can’t take any more
I sit counting the minutes
Am I the only one?
Who just can’t wait
Till Halloween is done
LAMIA
Beautiful Lamia
Queen of Libya
Lover of Zeus
Rival of Hera
Beautiful Lamia
Became a mother
Loved by Zeus
Despised by Hera
Wife of Zeus
The jealous Hera
Murdered the children
Of Beautiful Lamia
Driven insane by grief
Beautiful Lamia
Became an ugly
Child devourer
Hera became
A vengeful bitch
Lamia became
A blood sucking witch
IT HAPPENS ON THE NIGHT OF HALLOWEEN
It happens on the night
Of Halloween
When the spirits of creatures
Can pass between
And some spooky spooks
Might well be seen.
Some ghouls are good
And others are mean
Some ghosts have substance
And visibly preen
While others glow
Luminescently green
But watch out for witches
That arrive on the scene
For in the blink of an eye
They’ll whip out your spleen
WHEN THE WICCANS WAIL
It is All Hallows Eve
The night of all souls
Samhain Day
When the wiccans wail
At the witching hour
When the Demons walk
Souls will be taken
In the black of night
THE HUNTER
Pubs and clubs he scours
In the wee small hours
To use his seductive powers
On the maidens he devours
Then in the early hours
The maidens he deflowers
Are left like wilting flowers
He then returns to gothic towers
Where he then showers
IT HAPPENED LAST HALLOWEEN
I stepped out of the car
And was verbally assailed
As I stood upon my drive
“Trick or treat”
Came the banshee chorus
From creatures barely alive
I was taken aback
By this unprecedented event
This new tactic they’d contrived
In the past I had been safe
Behind locked doors
When the leaches arrive
But pretending not to be in
Would not cut it any more
If I was to survive
I must be as clever
As the candy seeking predators
And learn to duck and dive
So when a firework went off
And their attention was distracted
I ran away to hide
I wear a funny wig
My sister has a mask
We are well disguised
To go about our task
To have fun with our friends
Collecting Candy to eat
As we terrorise the neighbours
As we go “trick or treat”
YOU’RE NEVER TOO OLD FOR HALLOWEEN
It was a really spooky night
And I saw a very scary sight
We had been out “trick or treating”
And got home and started freaking
My parents were dressed as witches
Both were without their breeches
And my mum, not a natural blonde
Was playing with my fathers wand
GHOSTS AND GHOULS COME OUT
On Halloween, all hallows eve
Ghosts and ghouls come out
But not to do their evil work
They just want to stroll about
They can mix with the living
At this one time of the year
And not be discovered
Or cause screams of fear
They just mingle with fleshies
All through Halloween night
Enjoying the company
But are gone by first light
THOSE LITTLE DARLINGS
Those little darlings
With their angelic eyes
Look harmless enough
But beneath their disguise
They’re nothing but thugs
With pure evil intent
These spawn of Satan
Are not heaven sent
These foul blackguards
Going about their sport
They say “Trick or treat”
As they happily extort
They squirt fake blood
On my front door
They egg my new car
I can’t take any more
I sit counting the minutes
Am I the only one?
Who just can’t wait
Till Halloween is done
LAMIA
Beautiful Lamia
Queen of Libya
Lover of Zeus
Rival of Hera
Beautiful Lamia
Became a mother
Loved by Zeus
Despised by Hera
Wife of Zeus
The jealous Hera
Murdered the children
Of Beautiful Lamia
Driven insane by grief
Beautiful Lamia
Became an ugly
Child devourer
Hera became
A vengeful bitch
Lamia became
A blood sucking witch
IT HAPPENS ON THE NIGHT OF HALLOWEEN
It happens on the night
Of Halloween
When the spirits of creatures
Can pass between
And some spooky spooks
Might well be seen.
Some ghouls are good
And others are mean
Some ghosts have substance
And visibly preen
While others glow
Luminescently green
But watch out for witches
That arrive on the scene
For in the blink of an eye
They’ll whip out your spleen
WHEN THE WICCANS WAIL
It is All Hallows Eve
The night of all souls
Samhain Day
When the wiccans wail
At the witching hour
When the Demons walk
Souls will be taken
In the black of night
THE HUNTER
Pubs and clubs he scours
In the wee small hours
To use his seductive powers
On the maidens he devours
Then in the early hours
The maidens he deflowers
Are left like wilting flowers
He then returns to gothic towers
Where he then showers
IT HAPPENED LAST HALLOWEEN
I stepped out of the car
And was verbally assailed
As I stood upon my drive
“Trick or treat”
Came the banshee chorus
From creatures barely alive
I was taken aback
By this unprecedented event
This new tactic they’d contrived
In the past I had been safe
Behind locked doors
When the leaches arrive
But pretending not to be in
Would not cut it any more
If I was to survive
I must be as clever
As the candy seeking predators
And learn to duck and dive
So when a firework went off
And their attention was distracted
I ran away to hide
Monday, 25 October 2010
A THOUGHT
A thought, incomplete
Almost at its conception
Dies unformed
Another is stillborn
A lost unformed notion
More follow also fruitless
And unfulfilled
Then little more than an inkling
Emerges, grows quickly
Surviving into infancy
Only to be lost to distraction
Many more die unformed
Before a thought is born
Fully formed and grows quickly to maturity
But it was a stupid thought
Almost at its conception
Dies unformed
Another is stillborn
A lost unformed notion
More follow also fruitless
And unfulfilled
Then little more than an inkling
Emerges, grows quickly
Surviving into infancy
Only to be lost to distraction
Many more die unformed
Before a thought is born
Fully formed and grows quickly to maturity
But it was a stupid thought
FIVE GALS NAMED JO
Jo the trumpet
The musical strumpet
She was crumpet
But her lips were hard and dry
Jo with the deep voice
Oh how I rejoice
She was so very choice
With no Adams apple I’m pleased To say
Jo with the flat chest
Had nothing inside her vest
But I was still blessed
For she had other attributes
Jo with the all over tan
Jo jo the can can
The perfect gift for man
Had a beautiful white toothed smile
Jo the pretty faced
With the narrow waist
Was to everyone’s taste
Even the other Jo’s
The musical strumpet
She was crumpet
But her lips were hard and dry
Jo with the deep voice
Oh how I rejoice
She was so very choice
With no Adams apple I’m pleased To say
Jo with the flat chest
Had nothing inside her vest
But I was still blessed
For she had other attributes
Jo with the all over tan
Jo jo the can can
The perfect gift for man
Had a beautiful white toothed smile
Jo the pretty faced
With the narrow waist
Was to everyone’s taste
Even the other Jo’s
JACQUI
Jacqui was my older woman
Twenty years my senior
When she seduced me
In a Dublin hotel
She was always quite vivacious
This night however her high-spirit
Derived from gin and tonic
Though she knew was she was doing
Even for someone as inexperienced as I was
I could read the sexual desire in her body language
This was libidinous in the extreme
She was full of the elixir of lust
Again that was the gin and tonic
I was filled with a burning sexual desire
Which Jacqui knew exactly what to do with
She taught me how to give and receive pleasure
Took me on a journey of erogenous exploration
It was passionately fervid, scorchingly torrid
Insatiable and ardent
Caring, affectionate and tender
She was an excellent teacher
And a wonderful lover
Alas we never repeated the experience
Twenty years my senior
When she seduced me
In a Dublin hotel
She was always quite vivacious
This night however her high-spirit
Derived from gin and tonic
Though she knew was she was doing
Even for someone as inexperienced as I was
I could read the sexual desire in her body language
This was libidinous in the extreme
She was full of the elixir of lust
Again that was the gin and tonic
I was filled with a burning sexual desire
Which Jacqui knew exactly what to do with
She taught me how to give and receive pleasure
Took me on a journey of erogenous exploration
It was passionately fervid, scorchingly torrid
Insatiable and ardent
Caring, affectionate and tender
She was an excellent teacher
And a wonderful lover
Alas we never repeated the experience
SWEET YVONNE
I have an old photograph
It was taken at Wimbledon,
Long, long ago
It was of dear sweet Yvonne
And she was smiling at me
From an old discoloured print
Yvonne, cute and naive
She had such a sweet face
I recalled the day instantly
She had begged me to take her
I liked tennis, though not a huge fan
But I liked her more so I agreed
Suddenly I could smell her
And hear that infectious little giggle
And feel her touch on my skin
Her soft lips on mine
The memory of the day was so vivid
And of the days of unbridled passion that followed
When the wonders of her soft young body
Were yielded to me
It was taken at Wimbledon,
Long, long ago
It was of dear sweet Yvonne
And she was smiling at me
From an old discoloured print
Yvonne, cute and naive
She had such a sweet face
I recalled the day instantly
She had begged me to take her
I liked tennis, though not a huge fan
But I liked her more so I agreed
Suddenly I could smell her
And hear that infectious little giggle
And feel her touch on my skin
Her soft lips on mine
The memory of the day was so vivid
And of the days of unbridled passion that followed
When the wonders of her soft young body
Were yielded to me
I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU ALL THOSE YEARS AGO
I fell in love with you
All those years ago
Because you were oblivious
You simply didn’t know
You didn’t know
That beauty shone from every pore
You saw yourself as odd
But you were no oddity that’s for sure
You always put yourself down
If you could have seen through my eyes
You would have realized
You really didn’t have fat thighs
And your legs were fabulous
And your bum was not too fat
Your nose wasn’t pointy
And your chest wasn’t too flat
But that wasn’t possible
So I fell in love with your modesty
And you thought I was a good catch
So you got stuck with me
I still love you just as much today
As I did all those years ago
And you’re still completely oblivious
You simply don’t know
All those years ago
Because you were oblivious
You simply didn’t know
You didn’t know
That beauty shone from every pore
You saw yourself as odd
But you were no oddity that’s for sure
You always put yourself down
If you could have seen through my eyes
You would have realized
You really didn’t have fat thighs
And your legs were fabulous
And your bum was not too fat
Your nose wasn’t pointy
And your chest wasn’t too flat
But that wasn’t possible
So I fell in love with your modesty
And you thought I was a good catch
So you got stuck with me
I still love you just as much today
As I did all those years ago
And you’re still completely oblivious
You simply don’t know
I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU
I love everything about you
Every inch of your 5 foot 2
I love the way you dress
And disrobed as well I confess
I love your overt sexuality
And your subtle femininity
I love your seductive smile
And your soft tender lips
I love you from head to toe
And each and every finger tip
I love your bobbed brown hair
And your dazzling green eyes
I love your curvaceous-ness
Your breasts, your hips, your thighs
I love you lying in my arms
Beside me in my bed
I love to hold you close
And kiss you softy on the head
I love everything about you
Every inch of your 5 foot 2
And the greatest thing of all
Is that you love me too
Every inch of your 5 foot 2
I love the way you dress
And disrobed as well I confess
I love your overt sexuality
And your subtle femininity
I love your seductive smile
And your soft tender lips
I love you from head to toe
And each and every finger tip
I love your bobbed brown hair
And your dazzling green eyes
I love your curvaceous-ness
Your breasts, your hips, your thighs
I love you lying in my arms
Beside me in my bed
I love to hold you close
And kiss you softy on the head
I love everything about you
Every inch of your 5 foot 2
And the greatest thing of all
Is that you love me too
BE KIND REWIND
What a perfect evening
What a perfect first date
From the very first moment
We met beneath the clock
Till I left her at her door
Her sweet kiss upon my lips
Was complete and utter bliss
As I walk home I relive it
Her soft brown hair, the hazel eyes
Her sweet smile and her exotic smell
Oh and her soft caress
As in my head
I repeat each perfect moment
Then rewind and watch again
What a perfect first date
From the very first moment
We met beneath the clock
Till I left her at her door
Her sweet kiss upon my lips
Was complete and utter bliss
As I walk home I relive it
Her soft brown hair, the hazel eyes
Her sweet smile and her exotic smell
Oh and her soft caress
As in my head
I repeat each perfect moment
Then rewind and watch again
FILL MY WORLD WITH LIGHT
From the first break of day
Till the setting of the sun
My heart is full to overflowing
And I know that you are the one
Even as the dusk descends
And the world hovers in twilight
My heart still holds true
And I know all will be alright
But when the dark shadows merge
And the dusk turns into black
My heart is filled with dread
As the doubts come flooding back
It’s in the darkness where I succumb
Where I surrender to the fear
I am weak and afraid when I’m alone
But I feel strong when you’re near
You can banish the darkness forever
Filling my life with a perfect light
With the love that fills your heart
You can make every thing alright
Marry me and be my wife
And keep the forbidding dark at bay
I will know no fear or darkness
Only light after our wedding day
Till the setting of the sun
My heart is full to overflowing
And I know that you are the one
Even as the dusk descends
And the world hovers in twilight
My heart still holds true
And I know all will be alright
But when the dark shadows merge
And the dusk turns into black
My heart is filled with dread
As the doubts come flooding back
It’s in the darkness where I succumb
Where I surrender to the fear
I am weak and afraid when I’m alone
But I feel strong when you’re near
You can banish the darkness forever
Filling my life with a perfect light
With the love that fills your heart
You can make every thing alright
Marry me and be my wife
And keep the forbidding dark at bay
I will know no fear or darkness
Only light after our wedding day
FLORENCE
It was to be another business dinner
Another fabulous restaurant
Another expensive meal,
Or should I say “dining experience”
At someone else’s expense
This time a Paris nightspot
Of great renown
But more boring business talk
More boring company
But then quelle surprise
Out of the blue and quite unexpected
Une jeune fille
How pretty she was
La belle fille
With huge brown eyes
And long dark hair
Une petite fille
Her name was Florence
The niece of our host
Only in Paris for one night
And did we mind if she joined us?
As if we would mind
A bunch of boring business men
Or a bunch of boring business men
And a beautiful young woman
No contest to my mind,
I was besotted by this beautiful creature
When the waiter came
The American next to me
Ordered a steak, well done
“And for you monsieur?”
“I’ll take her, any way she comes”
Fortunately I only said it in my head
Another fabulous restaurant
Another expensive meal,
Or should I say “dining experience”
At someone else’s expense
This time a Paris nightspot
Of great renown
But more boring business talk
More boring company
But then quelle surprise
Out of the blue and quite unexpected
Une jeune fille
How pretty she was
La belle fille
With huge brown eyes
And long dark hair
Une petite fille
Her name was Florence
The niece of our host
Only in Paris for one night
And did we mind if she joined us?
As if we would mind
A bunch of boring business men
Or a bunch of boring business men
And a beautiful young woman
No contest to my mind,
I was besotted by this beautiful creature
When the waiter came
The American next to me
Ordered a steak, well done
“And for you monsieur?”
“I’ll take her, any way she comes”
Fortunately I only said it in my head
ALEXA
I have always been rather partial
To a skinny brunette
That’s always been my ideal
It stems from when I was a lad of 14
And the time I saw Alexa
I fell in love with instantly
She was two years younger than me
And when I first set eyes on her
I thought I had died and gone to heaven
She was so perfectly beautiful
Of course she didn’t even know I existed
So I would watch her from a distance
A vision of loveliness
Playing with her friends
I never had the courage to speak to her
But I would practice
What I would say
If I ever got the courage
But of course I never did
So I would say them in my head
And make believe
I said the words to her
I would dream of a time
When I would ask her out
And we would walk away together
Holding hands as we walked down the street,
But it was only a dream
I wish I could go back to that time...
When I saw her standing there.
Knowing what I know now
And speak to her of my love
For Alexa, the skinny brunette
If only I could live my youth again
To a skinny brunette
That’s always been my ideal
It stems from when I was a lad of 14
And the time I saw Alexa
I fell in love with instantly
She was two years younger than me
And when I first set eyes on her
I thought I had died and gone to heaven
She was so perfectly beautiful
Of course she didn’t even know I existed
So I would watch her from a distance
A vision of loveliness
Playing with her friends
I never had the courage to speak to her
But I would practice
What I would say
If I ever got the courage
But of course I never did
So I would say them in my head
And make believe
I said the words to her
I would dream of a time
When I would ask her out
And we would walk away together
Holding hands as we walked down the street,
But it was only a dream
I wish I could go back to that time...
When I saw her standing there.
Knowing what I know now
And speak to her of my love
For Alexa, the skinny brunette
If only I could live my youth again
Thursday, 21 October 2010
MEMORIES OF JANICE
I found the box in the attic
A flat, rigid white box
The sort that special greetings card came in
It was immediately familiar
Reminding me of my first love
For inside the box
Carefully kept and preserved
Were the love letters from Janice
Scented with cheap perfume
Letters full of young girls chatter
About favourite pop groups and fashions
And the days “must haves”
Talk of adolescent love and longing
Honey coated words of first love
Kept in the same box as her valentines card
Teenage love fondly remembered
The perfume was still evocative
Though faded like the memory
But I could see her pretty face
Framed with that fine brown hair
Cut in a Bob, so it kissed her neck as she moved
Her developing figure that hinted at what would be
Her gentle laugh that made you turn your eyes to her
The soft delicate hands that felt so good in mine
That first kiss that lingered on my lips
Long after we parted
I smiled at the memory
And wondered how her life went
What kind of woman did she become?
Did her aspirations bear fruit?
Or did she muddle through the years like the rest of us
Best not to know probably
The truth might diminish the memory
Of a sweet young girl
A flat, rigid white box
The sort that special greetings card came in
It was immediately familiar
Reminding me of my first love
For inside the box
Carefully kept and preserved
Were the love letters from Janice
Scented with cheap perfume
Letters full of young girls chatter
About favourite pop groups and fashions
And the days “must haves”
Talk of adolescent love and longing
Honey coated words of first love
Kept in the same box as her valentines card
Teenage love fondly remembered
The perfume was still evocative
Though faded like the memory
But I could see her pretty face
Framed with that fine brown hair
Cut in a Bob, so it kissed her neck as she moved
Her developing figure that hinted at what would be
Her gentle laugh that made you turn your eyes to her
The soft delicate hands that felt so good in mine
That first kiss that lingered on my lips
Long after we parted
I smiled at the memory
And wondered how her life went
What kind of woman did she become?
Did her aspirations bear fruit?
Or did she muddle through the years like the rest of us
Best not to know probably
The truth might diminish the memory
Of a sweet young girl
BROADBAND CONNECTION
I knew her name
And her email address
And I knew she was a poet
But that was all I guess
From her writing I divined a little more
She was clearly a Christian
And seemed to be an optimist
But I learned little more than this
Her profile only told me her age
And that we were from the same country
However I thought I should contact her
I don’t really know why
I don’t make a habit of it
It’s not in my nature to pry
And I’m not one to seek out correspondents
I have never foisted my self
I’ve never been a joiner of things
Or active looked for acquaintance
However I felt almost compelled
No I actually felt compelled
There was something you see
In her writing I suppose
That struck a chord in me
A kindred spirit possibly
Maybe we saw through the same eyes
Or shared the same moral compass
Or both like apple pies
I don’t know what it was
A connection of some kind
On some obscure level
I should say quite clearly
There was no romantic motive
I’m wasn’t looking for a lover
That ship sailed long ago
Nor did I need a companion
So what prompted it, I don’t know
That aside I then faced the problem
Of what I should say to her
I couldn’t say I felt compelled
Or I felt there was a connection
She would have thought me mad
But while I struggled to find the words
A message popped into my inbox
And it was from her, I opened it instantly
Read the first line and smiled
“I hope you don’t mind me contacting you
I’m not sure what prompted me to write”
Isn’t life strange?
And her email address
And I knew she was a poet
But that was all I guess
From her writing I divined a little more
She was clearly a Christian
And seemed to be an optimist
But I learned little more than this
Her profile only told me her age
And that we were from the same country
However I thought I should contact her
I don’t really know why
I don’t make a habit of it
It’s not in my nature to pry
And I’m not one to seek out correspondents
I have never foisted my self
I’ve never been a joiner of things
Or active looked for acquaintance
However I felt almost compelled
No I actually felt compelled
There was something you see
In her writing I suppose
That struck a chord in me
A kindred spirit possibly
Maybe we saw through the same eyes
Or shared the same moral compass
Or both like apple pies
I don’t know what it was
A connection of some kind
On some obscure level
I should say quite clearly
There was no romantic motive
I’m wasn’t looking for a lover
That ship sailed long ago
Nor did I need a companion
So what prompted it, I don’t know
That aside I then faced the problem
Of what I should say to her
I couldn’t say I felt compelled
Or I felt there was a connection
She would have thought me mad
But while I struggled to find the words
A message popped into my inbox
And it was from her, I opened it instantly
Read the first line and smiled
“I hope you don’t mind me contacting you
I’m not sure what prompted me to write”
Isn’t life strange?
A LONG WALK WITH GOD
CHRIST THE REDEEMER
Christ the redeemer
He died on the cross
He died to save us
And His majesty
Made of the world
A place of hope
A place of grace
A place of freedom
A place of love
He called us from the darkness
Into His loving light
GOD IS IN MY FINGERS
God is in my fingers
When I play guitar
God is in my footsteps
When I must travel far
God is in my lips
When I whistle a tune
God is in my voice
When I sing or croon
God is my protector
When my goal is reached
God is in my heart
When his word is preached
God is my salvation
In every single way
God is in my heart
Every single day
OH GOD IN HEAVEN
Oh God in heaven
I thank you
For your son
For supporting me
Embracing me
Accepting me
For offering me your hand
Your loving hand
We sing oh Lord
To praise you
For you support us
Embrace us
Accept us
You offer us your hand
Your loving hand
We give ourselves oh Lord
Into your love
SING IN PRAISE TO GOD ON HIGH
Sing in praise
To God on high
Accept Him
Into your heart
Sing in praise
To God our Lord
Accept His
Great gift of love
Sing in praise
To God on high
Accept Him
Into your life
Sing in praise
To God our Lord
Accept Him
As your saviour
IN THE SHADOW OF THE CROSS
When the world
Appears a troubled place
When you see pain
Etched into every face
Look for hope
In the shadow of the cross
When evil lives
In the hearts of man
When our neighbours
Plot our destruction
Look for hope
In the shadow of the cross
When you are burdened
With anxiety and fear
When you are so desperate
For someone to hear
Look for Him
In the shadow of the cross
THE BORN AGAIN GOD
Kneeling before the cross,
A simple sign of faith
A potent symbol of his love
A symbol whose holy shadow
Casts the light of love across the world
I am in the presence of the Lord
I feel His hand on my shoulder
His love in my heart
I find I am at peace
In the presence of the lord
I feel His reassuring presence
The Son of God
The Prince of Peace
Who died upon the cross
Who died on a hill in Calvary
And was born again
I feel the power of His glory
I feel at peace
I feel his Godliness
His Goodliness
He surrounds me with his love
And he comforts me
Making the world a less savage place
Christ the redeemer
He died on the cross
He died to save us
And His majesty
Made of the world
A place of hope
A place of grace
A place of freedom
A place of love
He called us from the darkness
Into His loving light
GOD IS IN MY FINGERS
God is in my fingers
When I play guitar
God is in my footsteps
When I must travel far
God is in my lips
When I whistle a tune
God is in my voice
When I sing or croon
God is my protector
When my goal is reached
God is in my heart
When his word is preached
God is my salvation
In every single way
God is in my heart
Every single day
OH GOD IN HEAVEN
Oh God in heaven
I thank you
For your son
For supporting me
Embracing me
Accepting me
For offering me your hand
Your loving hand
We sing oh Lord
To praise you
For you support us
Embrace us
Accept us
You offer us your hand
Your loving hand
We give ourselves oh Lord
Into your love
SING IN PRAISE TO GOD ON HIGH
Sing in praise
To God on high
Accept Him
Into your heart
Sing in praise
To God our Lord
Accept His
Great gift of love
Sing in praise
To God on high
Accept Him
Into your life
Sing in praise
To God our Lord
Accept Him
As your saviour
IN THE SHADOW OF THE CROSS
When the world
Appears a troubled place
When you see pain
Etched into every face
Look for hope
In the shadow of the cross
When evil lives
In the hearts of man
When our neighbours
Plot our destruction
Look for hope
In the shadow of the cross
When you are burdened
With anxiety and fear
When you are so desperate
For someone to hear
Look for Him
In the shadow of the cross
THE BORN AGAIN GOD
Kneeling before the cross,
A simple sign of faith
A potent symbol of his love
A symbol whose holy shadow
Casts the light of love across the world
I am in the presence of the Lord
I feel His hand on my shoulder
His love in my heart
I find I am at peace
In the presence of the lord
I feel His reassuring presence
The Son of God
The Prince of Peace
Who died upon the cross
Who died on a hill in Calvary
And was born again
I feel the power of His glory
I feel at peace
I feel his Godliness
His Goodliness
He surrounds me with his love
And he comforts me
Making the world a less savage place
SENIOR HUMOUR
SENIOR CONTRCEPTION
Jimmy was in his seventies
And took himself a young wife
He biggest concern was fatherhood
At his time of life
“What birth control would you suggest?
Which would be best for me?”
He asked his doctor, who replied
“I think in your case, nudity”
SENIOR LIFT
I’m now officially old
And the tell tale indicator
Is that I just heard
My favourite song in the elevator
SENIOR DIVAN
I’m now officially old
And the tell tale indicator
Is that having sex in a single bed
Isn’t an option any longer
Jimmy was in his seventies
And took himself a young wife
He biggest concern was fatherhood
At his time of life
“What birth control would you suggest?
Which would be best for me?”
He asked his doctor, who replied
“I think in your case, nudity”
SENIOR LIFT
I’m now officially old
And the tell tale indicator
Is that I just heard
My favourite song in the elevator
SENIOR DIVAN
I’m now officially old
And the tell tale indicator
Is that having sex in a single bed
Isn’t an option any longer
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
I MAY NOT ALWAYS TELL YOU
I may not always tell you
But you are everything to me
When I awaken in the morning
You're first in my thoughts
How much simpler life would be
If only I could say
I love you for being you
I love you for loving me
The love we feel the deepest
Is the hardest to express
But in your heart you must know
How much I love you
How much simpler life would be
If only I could say
I love you for being you
I love you for loving me
Emotions and the feelings
I sometimes tend to hide
But when we're together
I count my blessings
How much simpler life would be
If only I could say
I love you for being you
I love you for loving me
You're first in my thoughts
Every moment of every day
I should just say “I love you”
But this is not the way for me
How much simpler life would be
If only I could say
I love you for being you
I love you for loving me
But you are everything to me
When I awaken in the morning
You're first in my thoughts
How much simpler life would be
If only I could say
I love you for being you
I love you for loving me
The love we feel the deepest
Is the hardest to express
But in your heart you must know
How much I love you
How much simpler life would be
If only I could say
I love you for being you
I love you for loving me
Emotions and the feelings
I sometimes tend to hide
But when we're together
I count my blessings
How much simpler life would be
If only I could say
I love you for being you
I love you for loving me
You're first in my thoughts
Every moment of every day
I should just say “I love you”
But this is not the way for me
How much simpler life would be
If only I could say
I love you for being you
I love you for loving me
UNDER ACHIEVING
UNDER ACHIEVING
Gillian finished her first week at school
And had a very unhappy look on her face
She said to her mum who was showing concern
“I’m just wasting my time at that place”
Mum asked her “why ever do you think that?”
Then Gillian exploded in an angry squawk
“Well mother I can't read and I can't write,
And then they won't even let me talk!'
WRINKLE FREE
I have discovered a great way
To get wrinkle free skin
I just eat as much as I want
And the fat fills them in
TWIN DELIGHT
My friend has got a new girlfriend
And he’s sleeping with her and her twin
I asked how he could tell them apart
He said her brother has stubble on his chin
CATWALK STRUT
She strutted down the catwalk
In an outfit to make the critics talk
It was called simply “Iridescence”
And had a lustrous, brilliant appearance
Her outfit was called the wonder of the age
I think I’d prefer something in beige
AN ACT OF VANDALISM
Applying a tattoo
On a beautiful woman’s skin
Is something akin
To drawing a moustache
On the Mona Lisa
Or a Chad on the ceiling
Of the Sistine chapel
The only things that can enhance
A woman’s beauty
Is a smile about her lips
And a glow upon her cheek
WEDDING VOW
When to my wife I was wed
My father-in-law to me said
I will give you ten acres and a cow
I’ve waited for the land for 10 years now
UNTRUE SUE
I sit at home alone
Waiting by the telephone
Hoping to hear her tender tone
But all the time I knew
It was fruitless to pursue
The fickle heart of Sue
I’ll spend no more nights alone
Waiting for Sue to phone
I’m better off on my own
So let me warn you about sue
Before she gets her hooks in you
Her love is definitely untrue
For as soon as you’re apart
The infidelity will start
For she has a cheating heart
ROMANTIC GESTURE
My wife told me to be more romantic
And to book a table for Valentines Day
When we arrived at the snooker hall
I can tell you there was all hell to pay
PARTIALITY
Have you always been partial to a skinny red head?
But you married a twenty stone brunette instead
Have you always hankered for someone small and petite?
Instead you married a woman with size ten feet
Were you attracted to intelligent women with wit?
But instead you married some uncouth twit
Did you always fancy a girl with figure that swings?
But instead you’re stuck with miss bingo wings
Do you ever think your perfect woman got away?
Well you are not alone because I think it every day
Gillian finished her first week at school
And had a very unhappy look on her face
She said to her mum who was showing concern
“I’m just wasting my time at that place”
Mum asked her “why ever do you think that?”
Then Gillian exploded in an angry squawk
“Well mother I can't read and I can't write,
And then they won't even let me talk!'
WRINKLE FREE
I have discovered a great way
To get wrinkle free skin
I just eat as much as I want
And the fat fills them in
TWIN DELIGHT
My friend has got a new girlfriend
And he’s sleeping with her and her twin
I asked how he could tell them apart
He said her brother has stubble on his chin
CATWALK STRUT
She strutted down the catwalk
In an outfit to make the critics talk
It was called simply “Iridescence”
And had a lustrous, brilliant appearance
Her outfit was called the wonder of the age
I think I’d prefer something in beige
AN ACT OF VANDALISM
Applying a tattoo
On a beautiful woman’s skin
Is something akin
To drawing a moustache
On the Mona Lisa
Or a Chad on the ceiling
Of the Sistine chapel
The only things that can enhance
A woman’s beauty
Is a smile about her lips
And a glow upon her cheek
WEDDING VOW
When to my wife I was wed
My father-in-law to me said
I will give you ten acres and a cow
I’ve waited for the land for 10 years now
UNTRUE SUE
I sit at home alone
Waiting by the telephone
Hoping to hear her tender tone
But all the time I knew
It was fruitless to pursue
The fickle heart of Sue
I’ll spend no more nights alone
Waiting for Sue to phone
I’m better off on my own
So let me warn you about sue
Before she gets her hooks in you
Her love is definitely untrue
For as soon as you’re apart
The infidelity will start
For she has a cheating heart
ROMANTIC GESTURE
My wife told me to be more romantic
And to book a table for Valentines Day
When we arrived at the snooker hall
I can tell you there was all hell to pay
PARTIALITY
Have you always been partial to a skinny red head?
But you married a twenty stone brunette instead
Have you always hankered for someone small and petite?
Instead you married a woman with size ten feet
Were you attracted to intelligent women with wit?
But instead you married some uncouth twit
Did you always fancy a girl with figure that swings?
But instead you’re stuck with miss bingo wings
Do you ever think your perfect woman got away?
Well you are not alone because I think it every day
A LITTLE BIT OF LUST
DIRTY DANCING
Joanne the willowy vixen
Willing and welcoming
Dancing on the pole
Writhing and gyrating
Erotically cavorting
Like a gracile courtesan
Suppliantly performing for the clientele
Of dirty old men and drunken letches
Debasing herself for meagre reward
In seedy surroundings
Selling herself to wealthy businessmen
With her nakedness she begs
For more paper currency
She calls herself an exotic dancer
But she’s no better than the geisha
Who satisfies a Mikado’s libido
SPANISH MAIDEN
The Spanish maiden with the come hither look
Resplendent with curves shaped to arouse
A maiden possessing that perfect combination
Of come to bed eyes and a gaping blouse
THE PARAMOUR
I have always been magnanimous by nature
Generous of heart and noble of spirit
Kind, forgiving blah blah blah
In short I have always been a door mat
I don’t get to be the significant other
I am destined to forever be the paramour
The elicit lover, skulking in the dark
Never to come out into the light
Never to be amative, never to show my feelings
Always effacing myself in public
Confined to simple flirtatious episodes in view
And elicit sexual dalliances behind closed doors
Hotel doors mainly, locked against the world
Sometimes another mans bedroom door
With another mans wife or fiancé
I am not proud of what I do, but I do it anyway
THE HUNTER
Pubs and clubs he scours
In the wee small hours
To use his seductive powers
On the maidens he devours
Then in the early hours
The maidens he deflowers
Are left like wilting flowers
He then returns to gothic towers
Where he then showers
BLACK MASS
She slipped off her long leather coat.
Revealing just her underwear
Standing before me dressed all in black
A leather Basque, lace panties
A garter belt and stockings
And six-inch stiletto heels
I was instantly aroused
And wanted her there and then
But instead she knelt before me
At the alter of my lust
And took the sacrament
SPEAK DIRTY TO ME
She wears sexy underwear
And speaks dirty to me
I handle her roughly
Like a rag doll
I bend her to my will
I grope at her breasts
Toy with her nipples
My fingers first probe
Then penetrate her hot wetness
And revel in her response
Then she begs me to enter
And as I do I feel her shudder
Such burning passion
Consumes us both
As we are lost in the baseness of the act
Filthy words spill from her lips
As we exorcized our lust
Then sweet ecstasy
In the moment
Of our passions culmination
A LITTLE BIT OF IRISH
She is my southern Irish bundle of fun
If you want a good time girl she’s the one
She drinks like a fish and dances till dawn
She’ll run around naked on your front lawn
She likes to gamble but doesn’t do drugs
And likes to drink Guinness from mugs
She is the one who paints the town red
There’s never a dull moment it has to be said
Then later you can have a quiet Canoodle
Until you unleash her inner sex poodle
Then she’s a sex crazed Barbie doll
Who doesn’t know when to stop at all
For outside she’s sweet as apple strudel
While inside she’s a spanky sex poodle
COLLAR AND CUFFS
Hey there blondie I really like your hair
But I bet that it’s a different shade down there
I bet you don’t have any white blonde thatch
Your collar and cuffs certainly won’t match
Or maybe a mismatch really isn’t anticipated
Possibly you have already defoliated
I don’t mind you with or without down below
I’m am an easy to please kind of fellow
And if you’re a bottle blonde I don’t care
Or if there is a mismatch with body hair
Any way it comes that’s my simple philosophy
And besides it’s not something I’m likely to see
Joanne the willowy vixen
Willing and welcoming
Dancing on the pole
Writhing and gyrating
Erotically cavorting
Like a gracile courtesan
Suppliantly performing for the clientele
Of dirty old men and drunken letches
Debasing herself for meagre reward
In seedy surroundings
Selling herself to wealthy businessmen
With her nakedness she begs
For more paper currency
She calls herself an exotic dancer
But she’s no better than the geisha
Who satisfies a Mikado’s libido
SPANISH MAIDEN
The Spanish maiden with the come hither look
Resplendent with curves shaped to arouse
A maiden possessing that perfect combination
Of come to bed eyes and a gaping blouse
THE PARAMOUR
I have always been magnanimous by nature
Generous of heart and noble of spirit
Kind, forgiving blah blah blah
In short I have always been a door mat
I don’t get to be the significant other
I am destined to forever be the paramour
The elicit lover, skulking in the dark
Never to come out into the light
Never to be amative, never to show my feelings
Always effacing myself in public
Confined to simple flirtatious episodes in view
And elicit sexual dalliances behind closed doors
Hotel doors mainly, locked against the world
Sometimes another mans bedroom door
With another mans wife or fiancé
I am not proud of what I do, but I do it anyway
THE HUNTER
Pubs and clubs he scours
In the wee small hours
To use his seductive powers
On the maidens he devours
Then in the early hours
The maidens he deflowers
Are left like wilting flowers
He then returns to gothic towers
Where he then showers
BLACK MASS
She slipped off her long leather coat.
Revealing just her underwear
Standing before me dressed all in black
A leather Basque, lace panties
A garter belt and stockings
And six-inch stiletto heels
I was instantly aroused
And wanted her there and then
But instead she knelt before me
At the alter of my lust
And took the sacrament
SPEAK DIRTY TO ME
She wears sexy underwear
And speaks dirty to me
I handle her roughly
Like a rag doll
I bend her to my will
I grope at her breasts
Toy with her nipples
My fingers first probe
Then penetrate her hot wetness
And revel in her response
Then she begs me to enter
And as I do I feel her shudder
Such burning passion
Consumes us both
As we are lost in the baseness of the act
Filthy words spill from her lips
As we exorcized our lust
Then sweet ecstasy
In the moment
Of our passions culmination
A LITTLE BIT OF IRISH
She is my southern Irish bundle of fun
If you want a good time girl she’s the one
She drinks like a fish and dances till dawn
She’ll run around naked on your front lawn
She likes to gamble but doesn’t do drugs
And likes to drink Guinness from mugs
She is the one who paints the town red
There’s never a dull moment it has to be said
Then later you can have a quiet Canoodle
Until you unleash her inner sex poodle
Then she’s a sex crazed Barbie doll
Who doesn’t know when to stop at all
For outside she’s sweet as apple strudel
While inside she’s a spanky sex poodle
COLLAR AND CUFFS
Hey there blondie I really like your hair
But I bet that it’s a different shade down there
I bet you don’t have any white blonde thatch
Your collar and cuffs certainly won’t match
Or maybe a mismatch really isn’t anticipated
Possibly you have already defoliated
I don’t mind you with or without down below
I’m am an easy to please kind of fellow
And if you’re a bottle blonde I don’t care
Or if there is a mismatch with body hair
Any way it comes that’s my simple philosophy
And besides it’s not something I’m likely to see
THE TOM TOM BLUES
I want to get a Tom Tom
Or any make of Satnav
But my lady wife won’t hear of it
Not all the time I have
Her to map read for me
And give me vague directions
Saying left instead of right
At all the intersections
But it’s always my fault
When we take another detour
Though it’s her not paying attention
I don’t want to do this anymore
For she doesn’t really map read
She only reads her women’s mag
But that’s what I’m stuck with
A fifty year old sat nag
Or any make of Satnav
But my lady wife won’t hear of it
Not all the time I have
Her to map read for me
And give me vague directions
Saying left instead of right
At all the intersections
But it’s always my fault
When we take another detour
Though it’s her not paying attention
I don’t want to do this anymore
For she doesn’t really map read
She only reads her women’s mag
But that’s what I’m stuck with
A fifty year old sat nag
EURO TRASH
After another dismal round of European qualifiers
I think its time for a change
There are too may countries now
So I propose something radical
Norway and Sweden should merge
To become Swedway or Norden
Spain and Portugal could become
Sportugal, Porpain or Spugal
Denmark and Finland would be Finmark
Belgium and Holland would become Belland
Germany and Austria would either be
Gerstria or the fourth reich
The Balkan states could reform as Yugoslavia
Greece and Turkey could be Treece or Gurkey
The USSR could regroup, for sporting reasons only of course
And the home nations could combine to become England
I think its time for a change
There are too may countries now
So I propose something radical
Norway and Sweden should merge
To become Swedway or Norden
Spain and Portugal could become
Sportugal, Porpain or Spugal
Denmark and Finland would be Finmark
Belgium and Holland would become Belland
Germany and Austria would either be
Gerstria or the fourth reich
The Balkan states could reform as Yugoslavia
Greece and Turkey could be Treece or Gurkey
The USSR could regroup, for sporting reasons only of course
And the home nations could combine to become England
STEPHANIE
It was love at first sight
When I first saw Stephanie
That sparkling sprite
Stunning little Steffie
It may have been her beautiful face
Wish a rosy blush on her cheek
She was the most beautiful creature
I ever held in my arms
It may have been the fine brown hair
Dancing on her shoulders
Hair so fine it turned to fire
In the sunlight
Making a halo on an angel's head
Possibly it was her vivaciousness
Or just her small buttocks
Encased in her dirty jodhpurs
She was simply heart stoppingly gorgeous
Being in love with her was joyous,
Being loved by her was glorious
She would hug me
And bury her head in my chest
The smell of her hair was heaven
Her perfume a divine intoxication
And I would feel her tremble in my arms
As a tiny bird might in the palm of your hand
I wanted to keep her safe
Protect her from harm
Then I would kiss the top of her head
And carry her off to bed
I loved her so much
But I should have loved her more
I should have loved her with a passion
With such depth and intensity
That God himself
Could not have rent her from my grasp
But I did not
And my little bird escaped
When I first saw Stephanie
That sparkling sprite
Stunning little Steffie
It may have been her beautiful face
Wish a rosy blush on her cheek
She was the most beautiful creature
I ever held in my arms
It may have been the fine brown hair
Dancing on her shoulders
Hair so fine it turned to fire
In the sunlight
Making a halo on an angel's head
Possibly it was her vivaciousness
Or just her small buttocks
Encased in her dirty jodhpurs
She was simply heart stoppingly gorgeous
Being in love with her was joyous,
Being loved by her was glorious
She would hug me
And bury her head in my chest
The smell of her hair was heaven
Her perfume a divine intoxication
And I would feel her tremble in my arms
As a tiny bird might in the palm of your hand
I wanted to keep her safe
Protect her from harm
Then I would kiss the top of her head
And carry her off to bed
I loved her so much
But I should have loved her more
I should have loved her with a passion
With such depth and intensity
That God himself
Could not have rent her from my grasp
But I did not
And my little bird escaped
I JUST MET A GIRL CALLED MARIA
I was fourteen when I met her
It was the school holidays
And time could hang heavily
As you tried to fill the days
But that was before Maria
We met at the local lido
During that long hot summer
When she affected me so
She was a big busted girl
A full year older than me
And the stirrings in my trunks
Were due to her close proximity
Everywhere that was important
Maria was big soft and round
An open smile and wondrous lips
And a voice of honey sweet sound
I lost my heart on that summer day
Her charms I could not resist
That summer of sexual awakening
Her lips were the first I kissed
What a great summer it was
With Maria by my side
Our first summer of love
My heart full of love and pride
The summer passed much faster
After I first saw her lovely face
We parted in September
Never again to share an embrace
It was the school holidays
And time could hang heavily
As you tried to fill the days
But that was before Maria
We met at the local lido
During that long hot summer
When she affected me so
She was a big busted girl
A full year older than me
And the stirrings in my trunks
Were due to her close proximity
Everywhere that was important
Maria was big soft and round
An open smile and wondrous lips
And a voice of honey sweet sound
I lost my heart on that summer day
Her charms I could not resist
That summer of sexual awakening
Her lips were the first I kissed
What a great summer it was
With Maria by my side
Our first summer of love
My heart full of love and pride
The summer passed much faster
After I first saw her lovely face
We parted in September
Never again to share an embrace
LETTERS IN THE LIBRARY
As I sit in the musty library
In a once great house
I read, not one of the leather bound tomes
That fill the shelves from floor to ceiling
But a collection of letters
Neatly tied in ribbons
And they take my breath away
For each page is part of a remarkable story
About a most extraordinary couple
And their exceptional love story
For this lovingly devoted couple
Never met
Yet their love was evident
In their personnel correspondence,
No in their Love letters
Let’s say it how it is
The flowery words of an affaire d’amour
Echoed in the calligraphy on every page
Each billet doux
More affectionate and romantic than the previous
They bill and coo on every page
Each lovingly constructed sentence
Heavily laced with innuendo
Subtle yet explicit at the same time
Flavoured with delicious nuances
Flirtatious and lustful
Romantic and affectionate
A love of such purity
Not for its pureness of thought
But for the absence of any hope of physicality
She was an invalid, bed ridden
He a subject of an enemy state
So she couldn’t go to him
He couldn’t come to her
They could never meet, would never meet
So they made love via correspondence
An affair lasting more than forty years
Only ending with his death
His dying wish that her letters be returned to her
So that they at least should lie together
In a once great house
I read, not one of the leather bound tomes
That fill the shelves from floor to ceiling
But a collection of letters
Neatly tied in ribbons
And they take my breath away
For each page is part of a remarkable story
About a most extraordinary couple
And their exceptional love story
For this lovingly devoted couple
Never met
Yet their love was evident
In their personnel correspondence,
No in their Love letters
Let’s say it how it is
The flowery words of an affaire d’amour
Echoed in the calligraphy on every page
Each billet doux
More affectionate and romantic than the previous
They bill and coo on every page
Each lovingly constructed sentence
Heavily laced with innuendo
Subtle yet explicit at the same time
Flavoured with delicious nuances
Flirtatious and lustful
Romantic and affectionate
A love of such purity
Not for its pureness of thought
But for the absence of any hope of physicality
She was an invalid, bed ridden
He a subject of an enemy state
So she couldn’t go to him
He couldn’t come to her
They could never meet, would never meet
So they made love via correspondence
An affair lasting more than forty years
Only ending with his death
His dying wish that her letters be returned to her
So that they at least should lie together
HAVE YOU SEEN HER?
The coffee shop was quiet
Much quieter than last week
When I last saw her,
Which was also the first time
But in those seven days
She has filled my every thought
I have haunted the coffee shop everyday
But I haven’t seen her again
And today once more
There is no sign of her
I should ask the waitress
But what would I say
“Have you seen that girl?
She was here a week ago
The girl who was sat there
In that easy chair
The girl with the chestnut hair
In a pixie cut, have you seen her”?
How ridiculous would that sound?
She would think me mad
Or worse a stalker
Maybe if I told her about her smile
A smile to brighten the darkest day
Or those green eyes
Hypnotic and mesmerising,
Or that soft velvet laugh
But no I would just sound creepy
So I order a coffee instead
And sit in her corner
Drinking my coffee
While pondering my insanity
“Do you mind if I join you”?
A voice halted my musings
It was her, my quarry
She was here and she was speaking to me
“Absolutely, please do”
I replied rather pompously
“I love this corner” she said
“I like to sit and watch the world go by”
We exchanged a smile
But now she was actually here
I was speechless and my head was spinning
And I felt a little guilty
For stalking her like prey
Then, in a soft easy tone
She spoke again, which put me at my ease
“Didn’t I see you in here last week?”
Much quieter than last week
When I last saw her,
Which was also the first time
But in those seven days
She has filled my every thought
I have haunted the coffee shop everyday
But I haven’t seen her again
And today once more
There is no sign of her
I should ask the waitress
But what would I say
“Have you seen that girl?
She was here a week ago
The girl who was sat there
In that easy chair
The girl with the chestnut hair
In a pixie cut, have you seen her”?
How ridiculous would that sound?
She would think me mad
Or worse a stalker
Maybe if I told her about her smile
A smile to brighten the darkest day
Or those green eyes
Hypnotic and mesmerising,
Or that soft velvet laugh
But no I would just sound creepy
So I order a coffee instead
And sit in her corner
Drinking my coffee
While pondering my insanity
“Do you mind if I join you”?
A voice halted my musings
It was her, my quarry
She was here and she was speaking to me
“Absolutely, please do”
I replied rather pompously
“I love this corner” she said
“I like to sit and watch the world go by”
We exchanged a smile
But now she was actually here
I was speechless and my head was spinning
And I felt a little guilty
For stalking her like prey
Then, in a soft easy tone
She spoke again, which put me at my ease
“Didn’t I see you in here last week?”
OPPOSITES ATTRACT
OPPOSITES ATTRACT # 1
You have elegance
Poise and grace
A certain sophistication
And what was once called “it”
You have beauty
And sex appeal
You know what you’ve got
And how to use it
You have style
And fashion sense
You know what goes
And what does not
So answer me this
Why do you choose?
As your date
A tattooed Neanderthal
OPPOSITES ATTRACT # 2
She was gracefully slender
He was over weight so not so
She was something of a wit
He was not known for his bon mot
She was an intelligent beauty
He was not either though
With absolutely nothing in common
What attracted them I don’t know
But caught on the kitchen table
Going at it with Gusto
Were the unlikely couple
Undoubtedly in flagrante delicto
OPPOSITES ATTRACT # 3
What a strange affair
That mismatched pair
A pair of opposites
Caviar and grits
What did they do?
That mismatched two
Who were juxtaposed?
He fucked her, I suppose
You have elegance
Poise and grace
A certain sophistication
And what was once called “it”
You have beauty
And sex appeal
You know what you’ve got
And how to use it
You have style
And fashion sense
You know what goes
And what does not
So answer me this
Why do you choose?
As your date
A tattooed Neanderthal
OPPOSITES ATTRACT # 2
She was gracefully slender
He was over weight so not so
She was something of a wit
He was not known for his bon mot
She was an intelligent beauty
He was not either though
With absolutely nothing in common
What attracted them I don’t know
But caught on the kitchen table
Going at it with Gusto
Were the unlikely couple
Undoubtedly in flagrante delicto
OPPOSITES ATTRACT # 3
What a strange affair
That mismatched pair
A pair of opposites
Caviar and grits
What did they do?
That mismatched two
Who were juxtaposed?
He fucked her, I suppose
A LITTLE WORD
A LITTLE WORD # 1
While some use it liberally
Others hardly ever say it
Some won’t say it
Others can’t say it
Some have noone to say it to
And some say it to anyone
Some feel it but don’t say it
Others say it without feeling it
Some long to hear it said
Others are scared away by it
But whether you would have
Should have or could have
Make sure when you use the word
That you mean it when you say it
And you say it when you feel it
Love is just a word
Just one simple word
But what an effect it can have
And what damage it can sometimes cause
A LITTLE WORD # 2
While some use it liberally
Others hardly ever say it
Some won’t say it
Others can’t say it
Some have no reason to say it
And some should say it to everyone
Some feel it but don’t say it
Others say it without feeling it
Some long to hear it said
Others are scared by it
But whether you would have
Should have or could have
Make sure when you use the word
That you mean it when you say it
And you say it when you feel it
Sorry is just a word
Just one simple word
But what an effect it can have
While some use it liberally
Others hardly ever say it
Some won’t say it
Others can’t say it
Some have noone to say it to
And some say it to anyone
Some feel it but don’t say it
Others say it without feeling it
Some long to hear it said
Others are scared away by it
But whether you would have
Should have or could have
Make sure when you use the word
That you mean it when you say it
And you say it when you feel it
Love is just a word
Just one simple word
But what an effect it can have
And what damage it can sometimes cause
A LITTLE WORD # 2
While some use it liberally
Others hardly ever say it
Some won’t say it
Others can’t say it
Some have no reason to say it
And some should say it to everyone
Some feel it but don’t say it
Others say it without feeling it
Some long to hear it said
Others are scared by it
But whether you would have
Should have or could have
Make sure when you use the word
That you mean it when you say it
And you say it when you feel it
Sorry is just a word
Just one simple word
But what an effect it can have
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 160
A man of words and not of deeds
Sounds like a politician to me
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 161
Boys and girls come out to play,
The moon does shine as bright as day;
They come with a rug and a packet of three
They come prepared to play carnally
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 162
I do not like thee, Doctor Fell,
The reason why I can now tell;
I only see you when I feel unwell
And you’ll sound my death knell
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 163
Wash on Monday,
Iron on Tuesday,
Bake on Wednesday,
Brew on Thursday,
Churn on Friday,
Mend on Saturday,
Go to meeting on Sunday.
And all on minimum wage
These polish maids are brilliant
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 164
There was an old woman of Leeds
Who spent all her time in good deeds;
until she moved to Lancashire
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 165
Robert Barnes, fellow fine,
Can you shoe this horse of mine?
No, good sir, that I can’t,
Why ever not, fellow fine?
Primarily because I’m an estate agent called Mike
But mainly because that’s a push bike
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 166
Pussy cat Mole
Jumped over a coal,
And in her best petticoat
Burnt a great hole.
And that’s genetic modification for you
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 167
Once I saw a little bird
Come hop, hop, hop;
So I cried: "Little bird,
Will you stop, stop, stop?"
But it didn’t stop
So I shot the little bastard
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 168
Multiplication is vexation,
Division is as bad;
And that’s why they invented the calculator
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 169
Molly, my sister,
And I fell out,
And what do you think
It was all about?
She loved coffee
And I loved tea,
And that was the reason
We couldn't agree!
If you believe that
Then more fool you
She was actually screwing
My husband Hugh
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 170
Little Polly Flinders
Sat down upon cinders,
Cinderella and Polly
Are naughty little girls aren’t they?
A man of words and not of deeds
Sounds like a politician to me
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 161
Boys and girls come out to play,
The moon does shine as bright as day;
They come with a rug and a packet of three
They come prepared to play carnally
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 162
I do not like thee, Doctor Fell,
The reason why I can now tell;
I only see you when I feel unwell
And you’ll sound my death knell
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 163
Wash on Monday,
Iron on Tuesday,
Bake on Wednesday,
Brew on Thursday,
Churn on Friday,
Mend on Saturday,
Go to meeting on Sunday.
And all on minimum wage
These polish maids are brilliant
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 164
There was an old woman of Leeds
Who spent all her time in good deeds;
until she moved to Lancashire
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 165
Robert Barnes, fellow fine,
Can you shoe this horse of mine?
No, good sir, that I can’t,
Why ever not, fellow fine?
Primarily because I’m an estate agent called Mike
But mainly because that’s a push bike
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 166
Pussy cat Mole
Jumped over a coal,
And in her best petticoat
Burnt a great hole.
And that’s genetic modification for you
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 167
Once I saw a little bird
Come hop, hop, hop;
So I cried: "Little bird,
Will you stop, stop, stop?"
But it didn’t stop
So I shot the little bastard
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 168
Multiplication is vexation,
Division is as bad;
And that’s why they invented the calculator
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 169
Molly, my sister,
And I fell out,
And what do you think
It was all about?
She loved coffee
And I loved tea,
And that was the reason
We couldn't agree!
If you believe that
Then more fool you
She was actually screwing
My husband Hugh
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 170
Little Polly Flinders
Sat down upon cinders,
Cinderella and Polly
Are naughty little girls aren’t they?
Tuesday, 21 September 2010
SWEET EXPECTATIONS
She is the most sugary sweet
Girl you could meet
In essence she is a perfection
Of a confection
She is a sweet sensation
She is a candy creation
She is a delicious bon bon
Need I really go on on
And to tell the honest truth
I have the sweetest tooth
And long to consume
In the quiet of her room
This soft centered dream
Of peaches and cream
But like many a desire
That lights a mans fire
Come the appropriate hour
The candy will turn sour
Girl you could meet
In essence she is a perfection
Of a confection
She is a sweet sensation
She is a candy creation
She is a delicious bon bon
Need I really go on on
And to tell the honest truth
I have the sweetest tooth
And long to consume
In the quiet of her room
This soft centered dream
Of peaches and cream
But like many a desire
That lights a mans fire
Come the appropriate hour
The candy will turn sour
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