I SPOTTED A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

 

I spotted a chemistry student

Entering the toilets the other day

He washed his hands on the way in

Which is always a dead giveaway

STUDENT PROTESTS # 4

“It’s only right that the state should pay”

“It’s society that benefits” you will hear them say

The overburdened taxpayer has other ideas

The student’s plight is the least of his fears

“It’s them who benefit at the end of the day

So why on earth shouldn’t they pay their way?”

“It’s just so unfair to students who are poor”

Say the students doing medicine and law

It’s hard to sympathise when you hear that

When it’s coming from the mouth of a spoilt brat 

STUDENT PROTESTS # 3

 

I feel as a conservative voter

I must apologize to the young

Particularly those of the middle class

Whose university worries have really begun

As they now face an uncertain future

For when their student loans are spent

The cost of their degrees will make them

Ever so very slightly less affluent

STUDENT PROTESTS # 2

 

Most of them missed an episode of countdown

Some left home halfway through cash in the attic

What could have stirred them from their apathy?

Something momentous or, earth shatteringly dramatic

 

Well sadly nothing noble or for the common good

It was just an excuse for them to break the law

The Nett result is an even greater burden on the public purse

Ensuring the next generation will pay even more

STUDENT PROTESTS # 1

 

Students should be applauded

We should stand and raise our glasses

To applaud the lazy, pretentious, self-absorbed wasters

For getting up off their collective arses

TESTING SEX

 

At the end of the day

The teacher announces

“There is a test tomorrow

I will accept few excuses”

“Only a nuclear war,

Death or a serious injury

To yourself or one of

Your immediate family”

One smart ass inquired

By way of an interruption

“What if I’m suffering?

From total sexual exhaustion”

There was a lot of laughter

The teacher just smiled

Then she said to the student

“Write with your other hand”

I SPOTTED A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

 

I spotted a chemistry student

Entering the toilets, the other day

He washed his hands on the way in

Which is always a dead giveaway

THE YEAR OUT

 

I took a “year out” before going to Uni

And I got a job before you start to sneer

I got a job on the London Underground

And I call it my “Mind the Gap Year”

LIVING ALONE

 

When you live on your own

You let your standards drop

You can even turn into a slob

When you start you cannot stop

 

But it’s your personnel hygiene

Which will suffer the most

And as for your washing habits

They are of nothing to boast

 

When you live on your own

Sinking so low you will confess

When your standards are low

Even using the spaghetti test

 

You can peel off your socks

And throw them at the wall

But you can wear them again

As long as they don’t stick at all

STUDENT PROTESTS

STUDENT PROTESTS # 1

Students should be applauded
We should stand and raise our glasses
To applaud the lazy, pretentious, self-absorbed wasters
For getting up off their collective arses

STUDENT PROTESTS # 2

Most of them missed an episode of countdown
Some left home halfway through cash in the attic
What could have stirred them from their apathy?
Something momentous or, earth shatteringly dramatic

Well sadly nothing noble or for the common good
It was just an excuse for them to break the law
The Nett result is an even greater burden on the public purse
Ensuring the next generation will pay even more

STUDENT PROTESTS # 3

I feel as a conservative voter
I must apologize to the young
Particularly those of the middle class
Whose university worries have really begun
As they now face an uncertain future
For when their student loans are spent
The cost of their degrees will make them
Ever so very slightly less affluent

STUDENT PROTESTS # 4

“It’s only right that the state should pay”
“Its society that benefits” you will hear them say
The overburdened tax payer has other ideas
The student’s plight is the least of his fears
“It’s them who benefit at the end of the day
So why on earth shouldn’t they pay their way?”
“It’s just so unfair to students who are poor”
Say the students doing medicine and law
It’s hard to sympathise when you hear that
When it’s coming from the mouth of a spoilt brat