THE LONELINESS OF GRIEF

 

There can be no lonelier

Place on earth than grief

When you lose a loved one

Mother, father, sister, brother,

A spouse, a close friend or lover

It burdens you heart and soul

Though you are surrounded

By kindred spirits, who also suffer

You still feel desperately alone

GRAMPA’S DARKEST DAY

 

Darkness descended since

We lost our brightest light

Daddy carries you in his arms

In that tiny coffin gleaming white

Goodbye my precious little angel

I will see you in the sky tonight

I MISS YOU ALL THE TIME

 

I miss you all the time

You were my shining sun

And there is an emptiness

But when all said and done

There’s nothing lonelier

Than dinner for one

MY GRANDDADS GREATEST PLEASURE

 

My granddads greatest pleasure

Was his allotment

So, in his will he instructed

His son Peter

To sprinkle his ashes

Over the beloved plot

Lightly forking them in

At one ounce per square metre

I’VE LOST TOO MANY

 

I’ve lost too many

Nearest and dearest

Friends and families

I’ve watched as they

Left this world

One by one.

Each one gone too soon

Before they came to terms

With themselves

As I have done

And felt as free as I

WHEN I LOST YOU, I FELT DEAD TOO

 

When I lost you, I felt dead too

Apart from the constant empty pain

All I can do now is carry on living

Until the day I feel alive again

SHE HAS GONE NOW

 

She has gone now

And has left a hole

Where my heart

Once resided

But her spirit

Is always with me

And hangs in the air

Like a breath of spring

THE LONG WAIT

 

My Dad had cancer

And from the moment

He had to succumb

It was thirteen years

Before heart failure

Was to take my mum

She was so unhappy,

Partly because

His passing left her numb,

But not only that,

She was angry because

She was the lonely one

He wasn’t supposed

To go first, he was supposed

To mourn mum

So, at her funeral

I smiled to myself

Even though I was glum 

Thinking about them

Reuniting and the bollocking

That was to come

I HAD A VIVID DREAM

 

I had a vivid dream

And you were there

Lovely as the day we met.

I smelt your perfume

It was heavenly

A fragrance so evocative

I was intoxicated

It was blessed Euphoria.

I felt your caress

Tender like the first time

It was so real

My flesh tingled

The hairs on my neck stood up.

I kissed your lips

Like I did so many times

And my heart missed a beat

Just as it always did.

I would have stayed with you

Forever in your embrace

I wanted to stay

But I was dragged away

To awake in the real world

Where you no longer reside

And I was once again alone

But for a short time

I had you back

Even if it was just a dream

But what a special dream

A priceless dream

A dream, that if I could

I would dream again and again

NOT HERE

 

Now that mums not here

You try not to show you’re sad

But we know you miss her

And we know that you feel bad

But please don’t ever forget

That we all miss her too dad

THE DEATH OF DREAMS

He leaves her house

Saying goodnight at the door

And heads homeward

Like so many times before

 

She has another drink?

Or snorts another line?

No need for a cab

She thinks she’ll be fine

 

On his lips is the taste

Of his loves last kiss

As he peddles ever onward

Towards the abyss

 

She drives like a demon

Without any care

Racing over the bridge

Not seeing him there

 

There is only one winner

When the two come together

Only one outcome

A young man lost forever

 

In the laws eyes he died a boy

Three days short of being a man

But a very mature boy

A young man with a plan

 

His life had a purpose

Plans and dreams to be achieved

But his dreams died with him

And they too should be grieved

 

Too young, too young

To leave dreams unfulfilled

Too soon, too soon

For a young man to be killed

 

For Joel Semmens October 16th 1992 – October 13th 2010 

CHRISTMAS WITHOUT HARRY

 

It was early when the children woke up

With their squeals of joy and delight

They hadn’t woken me though

I’d been awake half the night

 

Christmas held no joy for me this year

I was not looking forward to the day

And I always loved Christmas

This year I didn’t want to play

 

It was the first Christmas since I lost Harry

And each moment was a fresh agony

Everything we used to do together

Now had to be done by me

 

When you are the perfect partnership

It’s so hard when you lose one of the team

He was the cream cheese on my bagel,

I was the coffee to his cream

 

Its six months since he was taken from me

But the wound has barely healed

It takes just the slightest remembrance

And a fresh scar is then revealed

 

The children have all adjusted well

I’m so proud of the way they’ve coped

They’ve gotten on with their lives

And not sat around and moped

 

I’ve lain awake most of the night

Reliving Christmases gone by

I laughed at all the happy memories

And then the laughter turned to cries

 

It was going to be a difficult day to bear

And I would be glad when it was done

But I didn’t want to be a Grinch

And pour water on the children’s fun

 

Having Christmas without Harry

Was like having an undecorated tree

He was my best friend and soul mate

He was just everything to me

 

So for the kid’s sake I had to grin and bear it

Put on a brave face, smiled through the pain

I thought it would never end but end it did

And it won’t be that hard again

BLACK CHRISTMAS

 

Now that the one I love is gone

The season has left me bitter

My heart has lost its soulmate

And Christmas has lost its glitter

THE LONELINESS OF GRIEF

 

There can be no lonelier

Place on earth than grief

When you lose a loved one

Mother, father, sister, brother,

A spouse, a close friend or lover

It burdens you heart and soul

Though you are surrounded

By kindred spirits, who also suffer

You still feel desperately alone

SWEET HONEY BEE

Sweet Honey Bee
How we will miss you
And your honeyed words
Well-crafted and poignant
Even finding humour
On your sad journey

Sweet Honey Bee
How we will miss your
Tireless support for others,
Less talented than you
Such as I, with your
Patient kind encouragement

Sweet Honey Bee
How we will miss you
Now the world is a sadder place
Without you in it
But the eternal meadow
Is now graced with another Honey Bee



For Deborah

A Mixed Bag of Poems

AT THE ELEVENTH HOUR

At the eleventh hour
On the eleventh day
Of the eleventh month
We heard the generals say
You can go home now lads
To the land you’ve defended
Thank God one and all
That the madness has ended

MICHAELMAS DAISY

Lovely Miss Aster,
My flower girl Maisie
My natural beauty
I love her like crazy
My own precious
Michaelmas Daisy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD

Happy birthday dad
See, we did remember
Because you are so dear
Just like every year

We will never forget
We just wish and wish
You were still here
Just like every year

So we wish you
A happy birthday
And wipe away a tear
Just like every year

Harold Curtis 19/6/1922 – 8/5/1978

DANCING PIXIES IN THE GREEN

Dancing pixies in the green
And sparkling water sprites
Oft heard but never seen
Bathing in the morning light

DEATH IN THE SHADOWS

Death in the shadows
Grim reaper take flight
Don’t let me be the one
You’re coming for tonight

PEBBLES SMOOTH

Pebbles smooth,
Like crude glass
Smoothed by nature
Time and tide
Its patterned form
Marbled in style
Sits comfortably
In the fingers
To be skimmed
Back to the ocean

I HEAR A SINGING CHILD

I hear a singing child
Innocently engrossed
In childish play
Singing sweetly
To her audience of dolls
Safely oblivious
In her enchanted world
Would that it could
Always be that way

DEAR OSCAR

He was witty
Blessed with a fine mind
A bel esprit
And was the clever kind

MICHAELMAS DAY

Feast of the Archangels
As the autumn equinox nears
Michaelmas marks the turning
Of the husbandman's year

29th September

THE SCULPTOR CREATES

The sculptor creates
With skilful hands
The beauteous article
An artistic gift
Its concept borrowed
From his dreams
And his subconscious mind
To infuse in his design
And create a work of art

DREDGING IS NO SILVER BULLET

Dredging is no silver bullet
Is the word coming from their ranks
But at least it would be something
To prevent rivers bursting their banks
While the environment agency
Just blindly keep on firing blanks

SLAVERY WAS BORN OF EMPIRE

Slavery was born of Empire
But not a European one
Slavery existed for centuries
In fact thousands of years
Way before Europe rose to the fore
Even the Romans came late to the party
Following in Greece’s footsteps
Peoples were enslaved
From around the globe
Where there were trade routes
There was slaving
Arabs traded slaves bought
From African tribesmen
Muslims enslaved slavs
Turks enslaved Ukrainians
Mongols reached into the heart of Europe
And took slaves by the thousand
White Europeans became involved
Black enslaved black
White has enslaved white
I don’t know if it will ever end
I certainly hope so
But what I do know is
That the British didn’t invent it

ORIGINAL FAIRY TALES

Original Fairy Tales
Were not devised
To scare children
And inform them
That monsters existed
Children already knew
There were monsters
What Fairy Tales did
Was to teach children
That monsters
Could be beaten

NAZISM WAS LIKE A CANCER

Nazism was like a cancer
Spread across the continent
And when Hitler was defeated
It was not a cure, for the cancer
Was merely in remission

THE DEATH OF DREAMS

He leaves her house
Saying goodnight at the door
And heads homeward
Like so many times before

She has another drink?
Or snorts another line?
No need for a cab
She thinks she’ll be fine

On his lips is the taste
Of his loves last kiss
As he peddles ever onward
Towards the abyss

She drives like a demon
Without any care
Racing over the bridge
Not seeing him there

There is only one winner
When the two come together
Only one outcome
A young man lost forever

In the laws eyes he died a boy
Three days short of being a man
But a very mature boy
A young man with a plan

His life had a purpose
Plans and dreams to be achieved
But his dreams died with him
And they too should be grieved

Too young, too young
To leave dreams unfulfilled
Too soon, too soon
For a young man to be killed

NOT FADE AWAY

Big man
Strong man
Barrel chested
Smiling faced
Hearty man
Where have you gone?
I watched you get into that bed
A few short weeks ago
But you have disappeared
And I don’t know when you went

Your laughter was first to go
That fruity chuckle
That warmed and cheered
Fell silent first
Then your conversation
Once a source of knowledge
Wisdom and sardonic wit
Dried up like a drought stricken lake
Your sentences grew shorter
Disjointed and inarticulate
Until they were no more

Then you began to fade
Like a picture going out of focus
When you opened your eyes
And I looked in them
I saw no one looking back
The spark had gone
You had gone
When had you gone?
We didn’t say goodbye

As I looked at the withering shell
In its unconscious state
I heard the groans, as the pain cut deep
Through the morphine
In the slow agonizing transition
From man to corpse
I cannot pick the moment
At which you were no more
But it was days before rather than hours
When the essential you left
When that which made you, you, was no more
I hoped you were not in there
Suffering
Dying by inches
God I hoped not

What savages we are
To inflict this end on a human being
We would not do it to our favourite pet
We would not treat a dog like this
Yet I let it happen to this man
What indignity
What inhumanity
What kind of son am I?

I will not go this way
I will not fade away
I will not vanish
Before my loved ones eyes
I will say my goodbyes
I will smile before I go
I will go on my termsI will go by my own hand

BOND

In an instant you were gone
Taken from us by another’s selfishness
He was too drunk too walk
So he drove instead
Devastation left in his wake
The children want to know why
I don’t have the answer
They look to me for a reason
They look to me for strength
They cling to me out of fear
The fear of losing me too
But they must be my reason
And they are my strength
And I cling to them out of fear
The fear of losing them too

SOUL MATES UNITED

Since the first day
When my life was blessed
When by Gods grace
You entered my world
We shared one love
One heart
One soul
Soul mates united
And life was good to us
So good we didn’t notice
The years quickly slip by
Then you slipped by with them
And I was alone
Half a love
Half a heart
Half a soul
Incomplete
And I could have blamed God
For taking you away
But I thank him instead
For the life we shared
Though I mourn your passing
And yearn for you
I know in my heart
We will be together again