21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 445

 

Mary wore a little skirt

With a split right up the back

And everywhere Mary went

She really took some flak

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 444

Mary wore a little skirt

With a split right up the front

And everywhere Mary went

The view caused an affront 

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 443

Mary wore a little skirt

With splits right up the sides

And everywhere Mary went

Boys could feast their eyes

21ST CENTURY NURSERY RHYME # 441

 

In the well-known Nursery Rhyme

The Grand old Duke of York

Was a manic-depressive chap

Because when he was up, he was up

A WEASEL WALKED INTO THE SALOON BAR

 

A weasel walked into the saloon bar

Of the Fox and Beagle

“What can I get you?” asked the barman

“Pop” Goes the weasel

ARE YOU WEARING A RED ROSE?

 

Are you wearing a red rose?

England’s floral emblem

A sweet smelling symbol

Displayed out of patriotism

21ST CENTURY NURSERY RHYME # 441

 

In the well-known Nursery Rhyme

The Grand old Duke of York

Was a manic-depressive chap

Because when he was up, he was up

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 440

 

Hickory Dickory Dock

Four mice ran up the clock

When the clock struck one

The other three were in shock

But otherwise were unharmed

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 439

 

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,

How does your garden grow?

With silver bells, and cockle shells

And other tacky blingy show

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 438

 

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,

How does your garden grow?

Well if you don’t plant seed

You can’t reap what you sow

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 437

 

Old King Cole

Was a merry old soul,

But when he sobered up

He was miserable git

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 436

Ring a ring o' roses,

A pocketful of posies

Atishoo! Atishoo!

Catch it, bin it, kill it 

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 435

 

Old King Cole

Was a merry old soul,

But when he sobered up

He was an arsehole

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 434

 

There was an old woman of Leeds,

Who spent her time in widows’ weeds;

She mourned for her team

And premier league dream

This hopeful old woman of Leeds!

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 433

 

Birds of a feather flock together,

And so will pigs and swine;

With kith and kin we have no choice,

I certainly didn’t choose mine

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 432

Little Jack Horner

Sat in the corner,

Eating Christmas pie

As he sat on his bum

He pulled out his thumb,

And poked himself in the eye

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 431

 

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

Followed by an average winter

Then he had an indifferent spring

Leading to the most glorious summer

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 430

 

Pussy cat, pussy cat, where have you been?

You’re the most dishevelled cat I’ve ever seen

How did you get covered in cobwebs and dust?

Come sit on my lap and you shall be fussed

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 427

Oh, the grand old Duke of York

He had ten thousand men

But after Brexit is settled, they will

Have to go home again 

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 425

 

Peter Piper picked a peck

Of pickled peppers

Very interesting I’m sure, but what

Was he picking at before hand?