NONRELIGIOUS KIDS ARE ILL-INFORMED

 

Nonreligious kids are ill-informed 

When asked the difference between

The New and Old Testament

Only one child bothered to speak up

And he thought the Kindle version

Must be the New Testament

MY SISTER WORKS IN THE IT DEPARTMENT

 

My sister works in the IT department

And got sacked for having dyslexia

Her boss told her to “unzip his files?”

She misunderstood and he sacked her

MY GRANDDADS NOT VERY TECH SAVVY

 

My granddads not very tech savvy

So, when he got a laptop I was amazed

But when I asked what windows version

He had, he replied “double glazed”

MY GRANDSON IS ALWAYS ON HIS PHONE

 

My grandson is always on his phone

It’s scrambled his brain I think

“What you need is a life” I said

He replied “Ok send me the link”

WHEN TWO APPLE DEVICES

 

When two Apple devices

Interface when meeting

They don’t do a handshake

But do an iFive in greeting

MY COMPUTER IS LIKE

 

My computer is like

Air conditioning as it goes

It works perfectly well

Until I start opening windows

MR OHM WANTED TO MEET SOMEONE

 

Mr Ohm wanted to meet someone

And start a marital home

And he just couldn’t resistor

That’s why she’s now Mrs Ohm

MY SON HAS AN IPOD

 

My son has an iPod

His sister has an iPad

My wife has an iPhone

And its iPay for Dad

HE WAS FED UP WITH HIS DEVICE

He was fed up with his device

So in frustration without flinching

He dropped his iPad in the river

And it immediately started synching

I DON’T WALK WITH THE CROWD

 

I don’t walk with the crowd and

I’m not the usual Microwave user

I like to stop it at one second

Just to feel like a bomb de-fuser.

I BOUGHT A SECOND HAND PHONE

I bought a second hand phone

From a guy in Germany

I just had to delete his contacts

And now it's Hans free

THE SIMPLE RED ROSE WAS ONCE

 

The simple red rose was once

The emblem of the English

But alas it has been replaced.

In England by the satellite dish

I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I DISLIKE F1

 

I can’t tell you how much I dislike F1

I only watch as a last resort

I find the F1 function key on my laptop

More interesting than the sport

HAVING + 1 CHANNELS

 

If you are going to have + 1 channels

There should be a – 1 for everyone

Which would automatically allow

The likely mistake to be easily undone

WHEN I FIRST HEARD ABOUT A SELFIE STICK

 

When I first heard about a selfie stick

I thought to myself “that sounds good”

But when I eventually got to see one

It was obvious I had misunderstood

I CAN HEAR REALLY ANNOYING MUSIC

 

I can hear really annoying music

And it’s getting to be a real pain

It’s emanating from inside my printer

I think the paper's jammin' again

BACK TO BACK DVD’S

 

My wife and I really enjoy

Watching DVD’s back-to-back 

But only one of us can see

The screen which is a drawback

CANDY CRUSH

 

He is a bit of a technophobe

If I have to tell the truth

So, he thinks Candy Crush

Is a stripper from his youth

IF YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE + 1 CHANNELS

If you are going to have + 1 channels

There should be a – 1 for the viewer

Which would automatically erase anything

You may have recorded in error

THE INTERNET CAN BE A CURSE AND NOT A BLESSING

 

The internet can be a curse and not a blessing

For example, the gambling sites on the net

Where eager Gamblers don’t even need

To put on a shirt in order to lose it on a bet