I TOOK MY WIFE TO AN APPLE ORCHARD

 

I took my wife to an Apple Orchard

And the fruit hung ripe to adore

But she didn’t like it, as it was not

The Apple Watch she was hoping for

I WAS IN THE APPLE STORE

 

I was in the Apple Store being served when I loudly farted

And the sales guy got mad and we almost came to blows

More Apple staff and even other customers joined in

But it wasn’t my fault that they didn't have Windows

MY IPHONE IS FROZEN

 

My iPhone is frozen

My Mac is deceased

My iPad misplaced

And my iPod is dead 

In fact all my Apple’s

Have gone pear shaped

WHEN TWO APPLE DEVICES

 

When two Apple devices

Interface when meeting

They don’t do a handshake

But do an iFive in greeting

MY SON HAS AN IPOD

 

My son has an iPod

His sister has an iPad

My wife has an iPhone

And its iPay for Dad

HE WAS FED UP WITH HIS DEVICE

He was fed up with his device

So in frustration without flinching

He dropped his iPad in the river

And it immediately started synching

I PLUG IN MY IPHONE CHARGER

 

I plug in my iPhone charger

To give the battery a boost

Just to top it up to maximum

With what I call Apple Juice

APPLE ARE BUILDING A NEW HQ

 

Apple are building a new HQ

Its secret design, nobody knows

But one thing we know for sure

The office won’t have windows

APPLE ARE DESIGNING A HOUSE

 

Apple are designing a house

But the one thing nobody knows

Is whether or not the iHome

Is going to have Windows

APPLE ARE GOING TO MAKE A CAR

 

Apple are going to make a car

But the one thing nobody knows

Is whether or not the iCar

Is going to have Windows

I WAS CAUGHT SHOPLIFTING

 

I was caught shoplifting

Form the Apple store

It was my first offence

I’d not done it before

 

They didn’t prosecute

I got lucky clearly

Although I think it was

Only Scrumping really

APPLE FAUX PAS

Apple have cancelled the launch

Of a new iPod aimed at kids

But due to negative feedback

The project is on the skids

It’s believed the product

Was to be called the iTouch Kids

PODS

 

Everyone loves an iPod

A w x and y Pod

And an I say I say Pod

A meat and potato pie Pod

 

The all at sea aye aye Pod

The he made me cry Pod

And I’ve got to fly Pod

And the bye bye Pod

 

The I’m going to die Pod,

The, my mate Dai Pod

The must keep it dry Pod

And the lady Di Pod,

 

The di diddly di Pod

The one in the eye Pod

The just for a guy Pod

And the Isle of Skye Pod

 

The bridge over the river Kwai Pod

The pig in his sty Pod

The vale of Wye Pod

And the Jamiroquai Pod

 

The Geordie why eye Pod

The Scottish ocheye Pod

The end is nigh Pod

And the x-ray eye Pod

 

The I can’t tell a lie Pod

The New Zealanders kai Pod

The I spy with my little iPod

Everyone loves their iPod

I TOOK MY WIFE TO AN APPLE ORCHARD

 

I took my wife to an Apple Orchard

And the fruit hung ripe to adore

But she didn’t like it, as it was not

The Apple Watch she was hoping for

I WAS IN THE APPLE STORE

 

I was in the Apple Store being served when I loudly farted

And the sales guy got mad and we almost came to blows

More Apple staff and even other customers joined in

But it wasn’t my fault that they didn't have Windows

MY IPHONE IS FROZEN

 

My iPhone is frozen

My Mac is deceased

My iPad misplaced

And my iPod is dead 

In fact all my Apple’s

Have gone pear shaped

I WAS CAUGHT SHOPLIFTING

I was caught shoplifting

Form the Apple store

It was my first offence

I’d not done it before

 

They didn’t prosecute

I got lucky clearly

Although I think it was

Only Scrumping really