IF THE TELEPHONE RINGS AT 4AM

If the telephone rings at 4am

Thereby disturbing your slumber

Don’t be angry if it’s not for you

It could have been the right number

5G

 

There are no limits to technology

And advances are anticipated with 5G

Enhancing forms of communication

Imparting important information

Using varied multimedia interfacing

Video clips and picture messaging

But there is a downside or failure

Primarily photos of user’s genitalia

I BOUGHT A SECOND HAND PHONE

I bought a second hand phone

From a guy in Germany

I just had to delete his contacts

And now it's Hans free

MOBILE COMMUNICATION 2013

 

“I want to buy a mobile phone,

No I don’t want a camera,

Not even video,

No I don’t want movie down loads

Screensaver’s, internet access,

Or downloads of any kind

I don’t want WAP or WiFi

G3, G4 or G5

I don’t need 100 ringtones

10000 free minutes

Or unlimited texts at weekends

I don’t need a I GB data allowance

I don’t want to play games

I don’t need an MP3 player

I don’t want a tracker,

I neither want nor need

Blue tooth

Sharks tooth

Hounds tooth

Or dog tooth.

I do not require the world at my fingertips.

In short, what I want is a device

To make and receive phone calls

And to send and receive texts

I just want to buy a BLOODY PHONE”

“Thank you that one will be perfect

Does it have a torch?”

BEWARE THE IDES…

Caesar and Brutus were talking one day

About the phones with the most cachet

They discussed the best deals of the day

Then friend Brutus thought to say

“What network are you with by the way?”

Caesar promptly replied “O2 Brute” 

5G

 

There are no limits to technology
And advances are anticipated with 5G
Enhancing forms of communication
Imparting important information
Using varied multimedia interfacing
Video clips and picture messaging
But there is a downside or failure
Primarily photos of user’s genitalia

I RESISTED GETTING A MOBILE PHONE

I resisted getting a mobile phone for a long time

But I gave in and was told I’d never regret it

Now if I leave home without the thing, I panic

And I have to turn around to go back and get it

IF THE TELEPHONE RINGS AT 4AM

 

If the telephone rings at 4am

Thereby disturbing your slumber

Don’t be angry if it’s not for you

It could have been the right number

MOBILE COMMUNICATION

 

“I want to buy a mobile phone”

“No I don’t want a camera

Not even video

No I don’t want movie down loads

Screensaver’s, internet access

Or downloads of any kind

I don’t want WAP or WiFi

I don’t need 100 ringtones

10000 free minutes

Or unlimited texts at weekends

I don’t want to play games

I don’t need an MP3 player

I neither want nor need

Blue tooth

Sharks tooth

Hounds tooth

Or dog tooth

What I want is a device

To make and receive phone calls

And texts like wise

I just want to buy a BLOODY PHONE”

“Thank you that one will be perfect

Does it have a torch?”

COMMUNICATION

 

The three best forms

Of global communication

Are, television, telephone

And tell a woman

MOBILE COMMUNICATION 2013

 

“I want to buy a mobile phone,

No I don’t want a camera,

Not even video,

No I don’t want movie downloads

Screensaver’s, internet access,

Or downloads of any kind

I don’t want WAP or WiFi

G3, G4 or G5

I don’t need 100 ringtones

10000 free minutes

Or unlimited texts at weekends

I don’t need a I GB data allowance

I don’t want to play games

I don’t need an MP3 player

I don’t want a tracker,

I neither want nor need

Blue tooth

Sharks tooth

Hounds tooth

Or dog tooth.

I do not require the world at my fingertips.

In short, what I want is a device

To make and receive phone calls

And to send and receive texts

I just want to buy a BLOODY PHONE”

“Thank you that one will be perfect

Does it have a torch?”

HELLO

On the omnibus or railway train

Sea going vessels or airplanes

Sat dining with friends in bistros

Or dancing in the dark at discos

No matter where you might be

Just remember this and mark me

Whether peaceful recreations

Or in a theatre for renditions

The mood is suddenly shattered

Silent thoughts are scattered

By a myriad of ringing tones

Of the annoying mobile phones

BOWES PARK 1920

 

London’s north was once my home

Before the countrywide I’d roam

I dwelt in London’s north it’s true

In postal code N22

It’s forty years now since those days

And thing have changed in many ways

Take Tele-com's for examples sake

No direct dial calls could we make

No mobile phones or call waiting

No answer phones or message paging

The best time then to speak with friends

Was After 6 and at weekends

Even numbers then were differ-ing

No eleven-digit number-ing

Numbers then were much more classic

Though lines did have a lot more static

The phones were much more practical

And not some fashion article

And we Answered calls with more panache  

Not impolite nor curt nor brash

Wed Pick it up and say Hello?

Bowes park one nine two oh