Uncanny Tales – (090) There’s More to Life Than Being Young and Fit

 

Now I’ve left middle age behind me in the distance I occasionally hark back to my youth when I really was as young as I felt, to the days before my six pack became victim to too many six packs, I suppose my current physique I have to confess is not so much a six pack but rather more a party seven.

(If you don’t know what a party seven is then this ramble probably doesn’t apply to you).

The thought of my girlfriends of the day with their firm buttocks, flat stomachs and gravity defying breasts stir my loins with more than a sense of nostalgia, and part of me wants to return to those carefree days of youth but I have grave reservations about being a teenager again or worse being myself amongst teenagers.

Having shared a train carriage with four teenage girls only a day ago and having endured the incessant and inane jabbering for two long soul-destroying hours, when they had exhausted their limited vocabulary within the first 10 minutes, the thought of repetitious teenage pillow talk fills me with dread.

How is it that with all the many means of communication at their disposal they still have nothing meaningful to say?

There is a lot to be said for being with a woman who is wrinkle free and supple and of limited sexual experience, carnal knowledge was so much fun to learn, and all this reminiscing leaves me with a certain longing.

But the price is too high to pay, it is so much better being with someone with life experience, someone you can have a proper conversation with in between the love making or indeed instead of it.

It doesn’t have to be deep and meaningful converse just a bit more than he said/she said init.

It can be as simple as a common history or shared knowledge, someone who knows the name of the dragon in Ivor the Engine, or someone who watched Brief Encounter and didn’t think it was funny.

Someone who remembers being able to play music at the wrong speed and who remembers having to wait for the black and white TV set to warm up.

Just someone who understands what you are saying and doesn’t stare vacantly at you when you mention an event that happened pre-1990.