ENGLAND INEPT IN BRAZIL 2014
There has only been one thing
More inept than England and it
Is Alan Shearer’s pompously
Hapless performance as a pundit
ROSES ARE RED
Roses are red
Apples are fruity
Show us your tatt
I bet it’s a beauty.
ONE POTATO TWO POTATO
Roast potato
New potato
Boiled potato
Sure
Mashed potato
Waffled potato
Baked potato
More
Wedges with dips
Hash browns and Chips
You should eat your fill
Of the Dublin mixed grill
THE EVOLUTION OF MAN
From good boy
To a nice kid
A promising start
Then from a great guy
To a fine man
And finally an old fart
YOU ARE PASSED YOUR PRIME
You're not really old, though
You are passed your prime
But you’ve not been young
For a very, very long time
WITH OLD AGE COMES WISDOM
With old age comes wisdom
Which is enlightening
And we learn to avoid
Things that maybe frightening
Like choosing candlelight
Instead of fluorescent lighting
DON’T PLAY SECOND FIDDLE
Don’t play second fiddle
Don’t be a mistress, be a wife
You must always be
The leading lady in your own life
UNDER ANY CONCEIVABLE CIRCUMSTANCE
Under any conceivable circumstance
I wouldn’t hesitate to admit
I would much rather be over the hill
Than find myself under it
MY GRANDDAD WAS WONDERFUL
My Granddad was wonderful
He always smiled and never frowned
He’d always have a treat for me
He was Father Christmas all year round
OLD GEEZER FOR SALE
50 year old,
Needs TLC, well used
One previous owner
No reasonable offer refused
I DOUBT IT BUT IF IT’S ACTUALLY TRUE
I doubt it but if it’s actually true,
And it’s not an exaggeration,
And things do get better with age
Then I must have reached perfection
IN THE NINETIES WE ALL LOVED TO DANCE
In the nineties we all loved to dance along to
Billy Ray Cyrus and his “Achy Breaky Heart”
Now I’m approaching my seventies I've got
Achy, breaky everything and I’m falling apart
LIFE BEGINS AT 40 # 3
You’re forty years old
Which is when, they say
Life begins for you
On that most special day
But if you drink too much
You will certainly pay
Because now you’re old
You’ll be hungover all day
THE YOUNG BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE
The young beautiful people
Think they are acts of nature,
But the beautiful old people
Know they’re works of art for sure
MILESTONE 60 # 4
I don’t want you to think that today
I think of you as a little older
I wouldn’t think that on your birthday
Actually I think of you as a lot older
Tuesday 8 July 2014
A Little Bit Of Humour # 57
ENGLAND IN BRAZIL 2014
You should always have a plan B
In Completive football I’d say
Unfortunately for England though
They neglected to have a plan A
THE DIVORCE COURT JUDGE SAID
The divorce Court Judge said “Mr. Curtis,
I have decided to give your wife £500 a week”
“That’s very fair, your honour,' Mr Curtis said
“I can manage a few quid myself at a squeak”
WE WERE SHOPPING FOR HOLIDAY CLOTHES
We were shopping for holiday clothes
And we were very nearly done
When my wife reached the swimwear
“Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?”
She asked me so I replied “get a bikini”
'You will never get it all in one”
THE GRAVESIDE SERVICE WAS OVER
The graveside service was over,
When there was a clap of thunder,
Followed by a bolt of lightning,
Then a louder clap of thunder
The old man turned and said
“Well she’s arrived then Vicar”
DARLING LET ME JUST SAY THIS
Darling let me just say this
For your future information
If you expect me to follow
The flow of the conversation
Then you must at least try
Whenever possible, please say
Whatever you have to say
During the commercials, ok?
LISTEN I AM NOT A MIND READER
Listen I am not a mind reader
And I never will be to be fare
But if I ask you what is wrong
My lack of mind-reading skills
Does not prove that I don’t care
IF I ASK YOU WHAT IS WRONG
If I ask you what is wrong
And you reply “nothing’s wrong”
I will act as if nothing’s wrong
Even though I know you are lying
I will not continue prying
It’s just not worth the hassle trying
IF YOU ASK A QUESTION
If you ask a question, you
Don’t want an answer to,
Then to be perfectly clear
Expect an answer you don't want to hear
IF SOMETHING I SAID, CAN BE
If something I said, can be
Interpreted two ways, and one
Of the ways makes you sad or angry,
I meant the other one
WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE
When we have to go somewhere,
Then absolutely anything, to be fair
Is honestly fine for you wear
BEER AND FOOTBALL
Beer and football are
As exciting for me
As handbags and shoes
Are for you, really
I WENT TO A POSH JEWELLER
I went to a posh jeweller to buy a new watch,
And I told the geezer I wanted it really top notch
So he said “Analogue” I replied “No, just a watch"
AN UNSUSPECTING PENSIONER
An unsuspecting pensioner
Was approached by a professional begger
"Lady, I haven't eaten in three days."
"Force yourself dear," she says
YOU HAVE TO FEEL SORRY FOR PHIL NEVILLE
You have to feel sorry for Phil Neville
Compared to Gary, he was a lesser player
Now he would also appear to be
Second best as a football commentator
If he entered a Phil Neville lookalike contest
He would finish second to his brother
BEND IT LIKE URI –BRAZIL 2014
The reason England failed
So says a guy in a Favela
“It’s all the fault of that
Spoon bending fella”
“We’d have won if we hadn’t
Snubbed Uri Gellar”
You should always have a plan B
In Completive football I’d say
Unfortunately for England though
They neglected to have a plan A
THE DIVORCE COURT JUDGE SAID
The divorce Court Judge said “Mr. Curtis,
I have decided to give your wife £500 a week”
“That’s very fair, your honour,' Mr Curtis said
“I can manage a few quid myself at a squeak”
WE WERE SHOPPING FOR HOLIDAY CLOTHES
We were shopping for holiday clothes
And we were very nearly done
When my wife reached the swimwear
“Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?”
She asked me so I replied “get a bikini”
'You will never get it all in one”
THE GRAVESIDE SERVICE WAS OVER
The graveside service was over,
When there was a clap of thunder,
Followed by a bolt of lightning,
Then a louder clap of thunder
The old man turned and said
“Well she’s arrived then Vicar”
DARLING LET ME JUST SAY THIS
Darling let me just say this
For your future information
If you expect me to follow
The flow of the conversation
Then you must at least try
Whenever possible, please say
Whatever you have to say
During the commercials, ok?
LISTEN I AM NOT A MIND READER
Listen I am not a mind reader
And I never will be to be fare
But if I ask you what is wrong
My lack of mind-reading skills
Does not prove that I don’t care
IF I ASK YOU WHAT IS WRONG
If I ask you what is wrong
And you reply “nothing’s wrong”
I will act as if nothing’s wrong
Even though I know you are lying
I will not continue prying
It’s just not worth the hassle trying
IF YOU ASK A QUESTION
If you ask a question, you
Don’t want an answer to,
Then to be perfectly clear
Expect an answer you don't want to hear
IF SOMETHING I SAID, CAN BE
If something I said, can be
Interpreted two ways, and one
Of the ways makes you sad or angry,
I meant the other one
WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE
When we have to go somewhere,
Then absolutely anything, to be fair
Is honestly fine for you wear
BEER AND FOOTBALL
Beer and football are
As exciting for me
As handbags and shoes
Are for you, really
I WENT TO A POSH JEWELLER
I went to a posh jeweller to buy a new watch,
And I told the geezer I wanted it really top notch
So he said “Analogue” I replied “No, just a watch"
AN UNSUSPECTING PENSIONER
An unsuspecting pensioner
Was approached by a professional begger
"Lady, I haven't eaten in three days."
"Force yourself dear," she says
YOU HAVE TO FEEL SORRY FOR PHIL NEVILLE
You have to feel sorry for Phil Neville
Compared to Gary, he was a lesser player
Now he would also appear to be
Second best as a football commentator
If he entered a Phil Neville lookalike contest
He would finish second to his brother
BEND IT LIKE URI –BRAZIL 2014
The reason England failed
So says a guy in a Favela
“It’s all the fault of that
Spoon bending fella”
“We’d have won if we hadn’t
Snubbed Uri Gellar”
A Little Bit Of Humour # 56
SHE CHOSE TO WEAR BEIGE # 2
She chose to wear Beige
For an event of some Grandeur
Amidst the glitz and the glamour
She was in a state of blandeur
AFTER HENRI HAD BEEN TO THE DENTIST
After Henri had been
To the dentist his mouth
Was fresh and clean
But undid all the good work
By gargling garlic
Flavoured Listerine
I HATE TO WATCH YOU SPRING-CLEANING
I hate to watch you spring-cleaning
When you mutter like a nutter
Sorting through your wardrobe
As you De-clutter your schmutter
ARE YOU WEARING A DUMB EXPRESSION?
Are you wearing a dumb expression?
You certainly look like a schmuck
Not that I’m not saying you’re stupid
Where thinking is concerned you’ve had no luck
THE SLIMMER OF THE YEAR
The Slimmer of the year
To her absolute surprise
Was last night presented
With the no Belly Prize
ARE YOU WEARING VOMIT IN YOUR HAIR?
Are you wearing vomit in your hair?
I fear it is a look that won’t be diminished
I've learned that you can keep on vomiting
Long after you think that you're finished
IT SUDDENLY DAWNED ON ME
It suddenly dawned on me,
It couldn’t have been clearer
Than the blast of a trumpet
It was so obvious in fact
It was as plain an indication as
An ankle bracelet on a strumpet
A SPANISH GOLFER WAS STABBED
A Spanish golfer was stabbed
Not multiple wounds, just the one
But nobody knew just exactly
Who it was made a hole in Juan
MY WIFE GOT ME TO BELIEVE IN RELIGION
My wife got me to believe in religion
Not something you could foretell
But it was true because until
I married her I didn't believe in Hell
WHERE DID I GET MY INTELLIGENCE?
“Dad, where did I get my intelligence?'
The young schoolboy asked his father
“Well son as I still have mine” he said
“You obviously got it from your mother”
THE EMERGENCY ROOM DOCTOR
The Emergency Room doctor said
“I don't like the look of your wife at all sir”
“Nor me” he agreed “But she can cook,
Do the decorating and the kids like her”
AIRPORT AIRHEAD
Bimbette called the Airport and asked
“How long will it take to fly from London
To Athens?” The agent replied, “Just a minute”
“Thank you” Bimbette said and she was gone
AN OLD MAN GOES TO SEE A WIZARD
An old man goes to see a Wizard
To ask him to remove a curse
That had been on him forty years
The wizard said he was not averse
But he needed the words of the curse
To remove the cause of his strife
The man said I know them off by heart
“I now pronounce you man and wife”
THERE WAS A MURDER IN A NORFOLK VILLAGE
There was a murder in a Norfolk village
But the police are struggling to solve it
In fact they can’t even identify the body
Despite the corpse having an additional digit
The DNA matches everyone in the village
And dental records aren’t helping a bit
A MAN RECOVERING FROM SURGERY
A man recovering from surgery was asked
By the nurse “how are you feeling Mr Dukes?”
“I’m a little concerned about a four letter word
Uttered during the surgery by Doctor Proops”
“What exactly did he say?” asked the nurse.
The man went very pale and then said “Oops!”
She chose to wear Beige
For an event of some Grandeur
Amidst the glitz and the glamour
She was in a state of blandeur
AFTER HENRI HAD BEEN TO THE DENTIST
After Henri had been
To the dentist his mouth
Was fresh and clean
But undid all the good work
By gargling garlic
Flavoured Listerine
I HATE TO WATCH YOU SPRING-CLEANING
I hate to watch you spring-cleaning
When you mutter like a nutter
Sorting through your wardrobe
As you De-clutter your schmutter
ARE YOU WEARING A DUMB EXPRESSION?
Are you wearing a dumb expression?
You certainly look like a schmuck
Not that I’m not saying you’re stupid
Where thinking is concerned you’ve had no luck
THE SLIMMER OF THE YEAR
The Slimmer of the year
To her absolute surprise
Was last night presented
With the no Belly Prize
ARE YOU WEARING VOMIT IN YOUR HAIR?
Are you wearing vomit in your hair?
I fear it is a look that won’t be diminished
I've learned that you can keep on vomiting
Long after you think that you're finished
IT SUDDENLY DAWNED ON ME
It suddenly dawned on me,
It couldn’t have been clearer
Than the blast of a trumpet
It was so obvious in fact
It was as plain an indication as
An ankle bracelet on a strumpet
A SPANISH GOLFER WAS STABBED
A Spanish golfer was stabbed
Not multiple wounds, just the one
But nobody knew just exactly
Who it was made a hole in Juan
MY WIFE GOT ME TO BELIEVE IN RELIGION
My wife got me to believe in religion
Not something you could foretell
But it was true because until
I married her I didn't believe in Hell
WHERE DID I GET MY INTELLIGENCE?
“Dad, where did I get my intelligence?'
The young schoolboy asked his father
“Well son as I still have mine” he said
“You obviously got it from your mother”
THE EMERGENCY ROOM DOCTOR
The Emergency Room doctor said
“I don't like the look of your wife at all sir”
“Nor me” he agreed “But she can cook,
Do the decorating and the kids like her”
AIRPORT AIRHEAD
Bimbette called the Airport and asked
“How long will it take to fly from London
To Athens?” The agent replied, “Just a minute”
“Thank you” Bimbette said and she was gone
AN OLD MAN GOES TO SEE A WIZARD
An old man goes to see a Wizard
To ask him to remove a curse
That had been on him forty years
The wizard said he was not averse
But he needed the words of the curse
To remove the cause of his strife
The man said I know them off by heart
“I now pronounce you man and wife”
THERE WAS A MURDER IN A NORFOLK VILLAGE
There was a murder in a Norfolk village
But the police are struggling to solve it
In fact they can’t even identify the body
Despite the corpse having an additional digit
The DNA matches everyone in the village
And dental records aren’t helping a bit
A MAN RECOVERING FROM SURGERY
A man recovering from surgery was asked
By the nurse “how are you feeling Mr Dukes?”
“I’m a little concerned about a four letter word
Uttered during the surgery by Doctor Proops”
“What exactly did he say?” asked the nurse.
The man went very pale and then said “Oops!”
Friday 27 June 2014
A Little Bit Of Sport
TODAY’S PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALLERS
I think today’s professional footballers
Worry far too much about their hairstyle
And should pay as much attention to detail
On the training ground once in a while
ENGLAND IN BRAZIL 2014
You should always have a plan B
In Completive football I’d say
Unfortunately for England though
They neglected to have a plan A
BEER AND FOOTBALL
Beer and football are
As exciting for me
As handbags and shoes
Are for you, really
ENGLAND INEPT IN BRAZIL 2014
There has only been one thing
More inept than England and it
Is Alan Shearer’s pompously
Hapless performance as a pundit
YOU HAVE TO FEEL SORRY FOR PHIL NEVILLE
You have to feel sorry for Phil Neville
Compared to Gary, he was a lesser player
Now he would also appear to be
Second best as a football commentator
If he entered a Phil Neville lookalike contest
He would finish second to his brother
BEND IT LIKE URI –BRAZIL 2014
The reason England failed
So says a guy in a Favela
“It’s all the fault of that
Spoon bending fella”
“We’d have won if we hadn’t
Snubbed Uri Gellar”
IF FOOTBALLERS SPENT MORE TIME
If footballers spent more time
Training and practising their skills
Instead of feeling the sting
Of the tattoo artists drills
They would gain the fans respect
Instead of looking like utter pills
AN ITALIAN NIBBLE – BRAZIL 2014
Suarez should be hungry
Like all strikers
But for goals
And not other players
HEROES RETURN – BRAZIL 2014
England will fly home
Into Glasgow Airport
Thus ensuring, a heroes
Welcome of a sort
A QUICK BITE – BRAZIL 2014
Luis Suarez thought the response
To his biting Chiellini quite amazing
He couldn’t understand the outcry
As for a cannibal he was only grazing
THE CANNIBAL OF AJAX – BRAZIL 2014
Whether you call him Lucho
Or El Pistolero
Or the cannibal of Ajax
Or even El Conejo
Suarez needs to understand
Biting people is a no no
A SPANISH GOLFER WAS STABBED
A Spanish golfer was stabbed
Not multiple wounds, just the one
But nobody knew just exactly
Who it was made a hole in Juan
SUAREZ IS TOTALLY SCREWED – BRAZIL 2014
Now the evidence is viewed
And the enquiry will conclude
That Suarez is totally screwed
But what I think is rude
Is that he plays with his food
I think today’s professional footballers
Worry far too much about their hairstyle
And should pay as much attention to detail
On the training ground once in a while
ENGLAND IN BRAZIL 2014
You should always have a plan B
In Completive football I’d say
Unfortunately for England though
They neglected to have a plan A
BEER AND FOOTBALL
Beer and football are
As exciting for me
As handbags and shoes
Are for you, really
ENGLAND INEPT IN BRAZIL 2014
There has only been one thing
More inept than England and it
Is Alan Shearer’s pompously
Hapless performance as a pundit
YOU HAVE TO FEEL SORRY FOR PHIL NEVILLE
You have to feel sorry for Phil Neville
Compared to Gary, he was a lesser player
Now he would also appear to be
Second best as a football commentator
If he entered a Phil Neville lookalike contest
He would finish second to his brother
BEND IT LIKE URI –BRAZIL 2014
The reason England failed
So says a guy in a Favela
“It’s all the fault of that
Spoon bending fella”
“We’d have won if we hadn’t
Snubbed Uri Gellar”
IF FOOTBALLERS SPENT MORE TIME
If footballers spent more time
Training and practising their skills
Instead of feeling the sting
Of the tattoo artists drills
They would gain the fans respect
Instead of looking like utter pills
AN ITALIAN NIBBLE – BRAZIL 2014
Suarez should be hungry
Like all strikers
But for goals
And not other players
HEROES RETURN – BRAZIL 2014
England will fly home
Into Glasgow Airport
Thus ensuring, a heroes
Welcome of a sort
A QUICK BITE – BRAZIL 2014
Luis Suarez thought the response
To his biting Chiellini quite amazing
He couldn’t understand the outcry
As for a cannibal he was only grazing
THE CANNIBAL OF AJAX – BRAZIL 2014
Whether you call him Lucho
Or El Pistolero
Or the cannibal of Ajax
Or even El Conejo
Suarez needs to understand
Biting people is a no no
A SPANISH GOLFER WAS STABBED
A Spanish golfer was stabbed
Not multiple wounds, just the one
But nobody knew just exactly
Who it was made a hole in Juan
SUAREZ IS TOTALLY SCREWED – BRAZIL 2014
Now the evidence is viewed
And the enquiry will conclude
That Suarez is totally screwed
But what I think is rude
Is that he plays with his food
Friday 23 May 2014
True Nature # 3
BLUEBELLS IN THE WOOD
Bluebells in the wood
Sway in the dappled shade
To the tune of Spring
THISTLEDOWN, IN IDLE FLIGHT
Thistledown, in idle flight
Drifts upon the highland wind
Like ancestral spirits
BATHED IN SUMMER SUNSHINE
Bathed in summer sunshine
Gentle breezes stir the stems
But above in the golden sun
Grow an array of perfect gems
ICE AND RAIN
Ice and rain
Sleet and hail
Storm and tempest
Wind and gale
The rugged rock
Cannot prevail
THE SUMMER IS ENDING
The summer is ending
The flowers are dying
The meadows are still
And the geese are flying
SUMMER FLOWERS ARE BLOOMING
Summer flowers are blooming
In the scented meadows
Are the sun slowly sets
Lengthening the shadows
THE PEACEFUL VILLAGE
The peaceful village
In the frozen valley
Lay quietly beneath
Its winter cloak
BENDING IN THE BREEZE
Bending in the breeze
White stalks sway
Flower heads dancing
On a summer day
THE WINTER LAND LIES
The winter land lies
In suspended animation
Part of life’s eternal cycle
And with it, paused
Is its Infinite variety
But As the earth turns
Mother natures seed waits
Beneath the February snows
VOLCANOES ARE TERRIFYING
Volcanoes are terrifying
Just the thought of them is frightful
But pyroclastic eruptions
That’s just Nature at its most spiteful
Bluebells in the wood
Sway in the dappled shade
To the tune of Spring
THISTLEDOWN, IN IDLE FLIGHT
Thistledown, in idle flight
Drifts upon the highland wind
Like ancestral spirits
BATHED IN SUMMER SUNSHINE
Bathed in summer sunshine
Gentle breezes stir the stems
But above in the golden sun
Grow an array of perfect gems
ICE AND RAIN
Ice and rain
Sleet and hail
Storm and tempest
Wind and gale
The rugged rock
Cannot prevail
THE SUMMER IS ENDING
The summer is ending
The flowers are dying
The meadows are still
And the geese are flying
SUMMER FLOWERS ARE BLOOMING
Summer flowers are blooming
In the scented meadows
Are the sun slowly sets
Lengthening the shadows
THE PEACEFUL VILLAGE
The peaceful village
In the frozen valley
Lay quietly beneath
Its winter cloak
BENDING IN THE BREEZE
Bending in the breeze
White stalks sway
Flower heads dancing
On a summer day
THE WINTER LAND LIES
The winter land lies
In suspended animation
Part of life’s eternal cycle
And with it, paused
Is its Infinite variety
But As the earth turns
Mother natures seed waits
Beneath the February snows
VOLCANOES ARE TERRIFYING
Volcanoes are terrifying
Just the thought of them is frightful
But pyroclastic eruptions
That’s just Nature at its most spiteful
A Mixed Bag of Poems
AT THE ELEVENTH HOUR
At the eleventh hour
On the eleventh day
Of the eleventh month
We heard the generals say
You can go home now lads
To the land you’ve defended
Thank God one and all
That the madness has ended
MICHAELMAS DAISY
Lovely Miss Aster,
My flower girl Maisie
My natural beauty
I love her like crazy
My own precious
Michaelmas Daisy
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD
Happy birthday dad
See, we did remember
Because you are so dear
Just like every year
We will never forget
We just wish and wish
You were still here
Just like every year
So we wish you
A happy birthday
And wipe away a tear
Just like every year
Harold Curtis 19/6/1922 – 8/5/1978
DANCING PIXIES IN THE GREEN
Dancing pixies in the green
And sparkling water sprites
Oft heard but never seen
Bathing in the morning light
DEATH IN THE SHADOWS
Death in the shadows
Grim reaper take flight
Don’t let me be the one
You’re coming for tonight
PEBBLES SMOOTH
Pebbles smooth,
Like crude glass
Smoothed by nature
Time and tide
Its patterned form
Marbled in style
Sits comfortably
In the fingers
To be skimmed
Back to the ocean
I HEAR A SINGING CHILD
I hear a singing child
Innocently engrossed
In childish play
Singing sweetly
To her audience of dolls
Safely oblivious
In her enchanted world
Would that it could
Always be that way
DEAR OSCAR
He was witty
Blessed with a fine mind
A bel esprit
And was the clever kind
MICHAELMAS DAY
Feast of the Archangels
As the autumn equinox nears
Michaelmas marks the turning
Of the husbandman's year
29th September
THE SCULPTOR CREATES
The sculptor creates
With skilful hands
The beauteous article
An artistic gift
Its concept borrowed
From his dreams
And his subconscious mind
To infuse in his design
And create a work of art
DREDGING IS NO SILVER BULLET
Dredging is no silver bullet
Is the word coming from their ranks
But at least it would be something
To prevent rivers bursting their banks
While the environment agency
Just blindly keep on firing blanks
SLAVERY WAS BORN OF EMPIRE
Slavery was born of Empire
But not a European one
Slavery existed for centuries
In fact thousands of years
Way before Europe rose to the fore
Even the Romans came late to the party
Following in Greece’s footsteps
Peoples were enslaved
From around the globe
Where there were trade routes
There was slaving
Arabs traded slaves bought
From African tribesmen
Muslims enslaved slavs
Turks enslaved Ukrainians
Mongols reached into the heart of Europe
And took slaves by the thousand
White Europeans became involved
Black enslaved black
White has enslaved white
I don’t know if it will ever end
I certainly hope so
But what I do know is
That the British didn’t invent it
ORIGINAL FAIRY TALES
Original Fairy Tales
Were not devised
To scare children
And inform them
That monsters existed
Children already knew
There were monsters
What Fairy Tales did
Was to teach children
That monsters
Could be beaten
NAZISM WAS LIKE A CANCER
Nazism was like a cancer
Spread across the continent
And when Hitler was defeated
It was not a cure, for the cancer
Was merely in remission
At the eleventh hour
On the eleventh day
Of the eleventh month
We heard the generals say
You can go home now lads
To the land you’ve defended
Thank God one and all
That the madness has ended
MICHAELMAS DAISY
Lovely Miss Aster,
My flower girl Maisie
My natural beauty
I love her like crazy
My own precious
Michaelmas Daisy
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD
Happy birthday dad
See, we did remember
Because you are so dear
Just like every year
We will never forget
We just wish and wish
You were still here
Just like every year
So we wish you
A happy birthday
And wipe away a tear
Just like every year
Harold Curtis 19/6/1922 – 8/5/1978
DANCING PIXIES IN THE GREEN
Dancing pixies in the green
And sparkling water sprites
Oft heard but never seen
Bathing in the morning light
DEATH IN THE SHADOWS
Death in the shadows
Grim reaper take flight
Don’t let me be the one
You’re coming for tonight
PEBBLES SMOOTH
Pebbles smooth,
Like crude glass
Smoothed by nature
Time and tide
Its patterned form
Marbled in style
Sits comfortably
In the fingers
To be skimmed
Back to the ocean
I HEAR A SINGING CHILD
I hear a singing child
Innocently engrossed
In childish play
Singing sweetly
To her audience of dolls
Safely oblivious
In her enchanted world
Would that it could
Always be that way
DEAR OSCAR
He was witty
Blessed with a fine mind
A bel esprit
And was the clever kind
MICHAELMAS DAY
Feast of the Archangels
As the autumn equinox nears
Michaelmas marks the turning
Of the husbandman's year
29th September
THE SCULPTOR CREATES
The sculptor creates
With skilful hands
The beauteous article
An artistic gift
Its concept borrowed
From his dreams
And his subconscious mind
To infuse in his design
And create a work of art
DREDGING IS NO SILVER BULLET
Dredging is no silver bullet
Is the word coming from their ranks
But at least it would be something
To prevent rivers bursting their banks
While the environment agency
Just blindly keep on firing blanks
SLAVERY WAS BORN OF EMPIRE
Slavery was born of Empire
But not a European one
Slavery existed for centuries
In fact thousands of years
Way before Europe rose to the fore
Even the Romans came late to the party
Following in Greece’s footsteps
Peoples were enslaved
From around the globe
Where there were trade routes
There was slaving
Arabs traded slaves bought
From African tribesmen
Muslims enslaved slavs
Turks enslaved Ukrainians
Mongols reached into the heart of Europe
And took slaves by the thousand
White Europeans became involved
Black enslaved black
White has enslaved white
I don’t know if it will ever end
I certainly hope so
But what I do know is
That the British didn’t invent it
ORIGINAL FAIRY TALES
Original Fairy Tales
Were not devised
To scare children
And inform them
That monsters existed
Children already knew
There were monsters
What Fairy Tales did
Was to teach children
That monsters
Could be beaten
NAZISM WAS LIKE A CANCER
Nazism was like a cancer
Spread across the continent
And when Hitler was defeated
It was not a cure, for the cancer
Was merely in remission
Wednesday 21 May 2014
Walk with God
THE CHARGE OF THE DARK BRIGADE
The scroll of the seven seals
Rested in God's right hand
Until he bade his son
The Lion of Judah
To break the first seal
And the Lamb did so
And from the broken seal
Appeared a white horse
Bearing the conqueror
Carrying a bow,
And wearing a victor's crown
God then bade his son
The Lion of Judah
To break the second seal
And the Lamb did so
And from the broken seal
Appeared a red horse
Bearing the warrior
Carrying a sword
And wielding the power
To take peace from the world
God then bade his son
The Lion of Judah
To break the third seal
And the Lamb did so
And from the broken seal
Appeared a black horse
Bearing the bringer of famine
Carrying a set of scales
Finally he bade his son
The Lion of Judah
To break the fourth seal
And the Lamb did so
And from the broken seal
Appeared a pale horse
Bearing the a rider called death
With hell close behind him
With power over a quarter of the earth
To kill by sword, famine, plague,
And by the wild beasts of the earth.
The four apocalyptic horsemen rode forth
On the charge of the dark brigade
FLAXEN HAIRED ANGEL
Flaxen haired angel
Spellbinding in white
Exuding purest love
And Gods sublime light
Spread your wings
For heavenly flight
CANDLE OF HIS LIGHT
Candle of His light
Cast your goodness
In your steady glow
Across the sinful world
And bath us in love
HELL DOES NOT HAVE TO BE
Hell does not have to be
A fiery pit of brimstone
Hell is merely
The absence of God
BE AT PEACE WITH LIFE
Be at peace with life
Live in the light
For although they
Are out of sight
We are in safe hands
Both day and night
As they walk among us
The Angels of the light
ARCHANGEL MICHAEL
Archangel Michael
Lucifer’s nemesis
Angelic warrior
In the war in heaven
Protector against
The dark of night
GOD’S ETERNAL LIGHT
God’s eternal light
Illuminates the starkness
Dispelling evil
In the invading darkness
HOLY UNMERCENARIES
Holy unmercenaries
Is an epithet applying to
Christian saints,
Who did not accept
Payment of any kind
For good deeds done
Which is I think the very least
One should expect from a saint
PALM SUNDAY OF THE PASSION OF THE LORD
With the Roman Rite
Of Palm Sunday
Or Passion Sunday
Holy Week begins
Marking the humble entrance
Of the Messiah
Into Jerusalem on a donkey,
So he could accomplish
His paschal mystery,
But Palm Sunday
Also marks with the
Blessing of palm leaves
The beginning
Of his journey to the cross
The scroll of the seven seals
Rested in God's right hand
Until he bade his son
The Lion of Judah
To break the first seal
And the Lamb did so
And from the broken seal
Appeared a white horse
Bearing the conqueror
Carrying a bow,
And wearing a victor's crown
God then bade his son
The Lion of Judah
To break the second seal
And the Lamb did so
And from the broken seal
Appeared a red horse
Bearing the warrior
Carrying a sword
And wielding the power
To take peace from the world
God then bade his son
The Lion of Judah
To break the third seal
And the Lamb did so
And from the broken seal
Appeared a black horse
Bearing the bringer of famine
Carrying a set of scales
Finally he bade his son
The Lion of Judah
To break the fourth seal
And the Lamb did so
And from the broken seal
Appeared a pale horse
Bearing the a rider called death
With hell close behind him
With power over a quarter of the earth
To kill by sword, famine, plague,
And by the wild beasts of the earth.
The four apocalyptic horsemen rode forth
On the charge of the dark brigade
FLAXEN HAIRED ANGEL
Flaxen haired angel
Spellbinding in white
Exuding purest love
And Gods sublime light
Spread your wings
For heavenly flight
CANDLE OF HIS LIGHT
Candle of His light
Cast your goodness
In your steady glow
Across the sinful world
And bath us in love
HELL DOES NOT HAVE TO BE
Hell does not have to be
A fiery pit of brimstone
Hell is merely
The absence of God
BE AT PEACE WITH LIFE
Be at peace with life
Live in the light
For although they
Are out of sight
We are in safe hands
Both day and night
As they walk among us
The Angels of the light
ARCHANGEL MICHAEL
Archangel Michael
Lucifer’s nemesis
Angelic warrior
In the war in heaven
Protector against
The dark of night
GOD’S ETERNAL LIGHT
God’s eternal light
Illuminates the starkness
Dispelling evil
In the invading darkness
HOLY UNMERCENARIES
Holy unmercenaries
Is an epithet applying to
Christian saints,
Who did not accept
Payment of any kind
For good deeds done
Which is I think the very least
One should expect from a saint
PALM SUNDAY OF THE PASSION OF THE LORD
With the Roman Rite
Of Palm Sunday
Or Passion Sunday
Holy Week begins
Marking the humble entrance
Of the Messiah
Into Jerusalem on a donkey,
So he could accomplish
His paschal mystery,
But Palm Sunday
Also marks with the
Blessing of palm leaves
The beginning
Of his journey to the cross
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