FAIR PLAY DIAGOAt the world cup
Maradona has called for fair play
And he wants referees
To understand the meaning he says
He could perhaps give FIFA
An example of fair play
Like not punching the ball into the net
That would be one way
A DISAPPOINTING DRAW, ENGLAND 0, ALGERIA 0, “We are disappointed with the draw
Against this piss poor team today”
“We consider it two points dropped”
Said a spokesman of the Algerian FA
DON CAPELLODon Capello spoke of the “Big Mistake”
And a big performance is his wish
But sadly the outspoken John Terry
Will tonight be sleeping with the fish
INTRUDER ALERTAfter security failures
In South Africa
Surrounding England
In particular
FIFA want to ascertain
How certain individuals
Could gain entry
Without credentials
To England’s dressing room
The ones causing most worry
Were Emile Heskey
Glen Johnson and Gareth Barry
SINGING THE BLUESThey sing the homesick blues
“We miss our families”
These pampered prima donnas
Living in 5 star luxury
In Afghanistan they are home sick
They miss their families
The soldiers living in tents
Under fire from the enemy
They sing the we’re bored blues
“There‘s like nothing to do”
Like a bunch of seven year olds
Not men of over 22
We are so bored with these players
And their incessant whining
Waited on hand and foot
Living it up on 5 star dinning
They sing the we’re tired blues
Like we have any sympathy
Only having to play once a week
Then after training they are free
We’re tired waiting for our heroes
When eleven strangers appear
Where are the premiership stars?
Who play weekly without fear
We sing the England blues
As each tournament comes around
When each and every time
Our dreams lie tattered on the ground
GREAT EXPECTATIONSI never expected us to win the cup
That was always inconceivable
But if we played to our potential
The Quarter finals were achievable
But when the first ball was kicked
They were more nightmare than dream
So I just wanted them to do their best
Clearly too much to ask of our team
POINTING THE FINGERWe were predictable, disorganized and poor
Our ineptitude was there for all to see
But as much as the players failed to turn up
And performed disappointingly
We were tactically bereft as well
Because Fabio Capello has no plan B
THEY’RE HAVING A LAUGHCole and King were seen
Laughing hysterically
Just a few hours
After defeat to Germany
I saw no humour
In the way England plays
In fact I haven’t laughed
For the past two days
A SWIFT EXITEngland left for the airport
On the wrong bus, apparently
For emblazoned on its side was
“Playing with pride and glory”
England’s bus was possibly stolen
You will recognise it quite easily
For emblazoned on its side is
“Playing with sloth and lethargy”
WELL MY LORD, SPAIN 1, PORTUGAL 0Did you think Lord Triesman mad, for saying?
That referees might me bribed by Spain
If so, did watching the sending off of Costa
Give you any doubt and make you think again
CAPDEVILA, SPAIN 1, PORTUGAL 0Capdevila has reached the pinnacle
Of herculean World Cup feats
He has joined the pantheon
Of notorious world cup cheats
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDEWe were rubbish in South Africa
But we should stop the whining
For no matter how black the cloud
There is always a silver lining
We were rubbish in South Africa
And we get no second chance
But at least we can safely say
That we were not as bad as France
INTERNATIONAL BANGoodluck Jonathon’s response to the failure
Of the Nigeria team in South Africa
Is to ban them from internationals
For the next two year which is radical
The English FA considered doing the same
For the good of the English game
But decided not to at an FA meeting
As no one would notice England not competing
HOWARDS END - SOUTH AFRICA 2010
Well England made it to the final
Though alas only the refereeing chap
But like the England team before him
Howard Webb was really crap
