THE CLASSIC STORY OF THE THREE BEARS

The classic story of the Three Bears

Is quite obviously a load of bollocks

Arguing about eating bowls of porridge

When they could have eaten Goldilocks

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 15

 

The true nature of fairy tales

Are for the devotee, a heartbreaker

Because the tales were sanitized

Such as the Elves and the Hoe maker

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 14

 

Puss in Boots isn’t all he appears

And you will be shocked to your roots

He is more flamboyant in private

And is often Puss in Latex Boots

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 13

 

It wasn’t a pea in her bed that kept her awake

It was something of a very different genus

The reason for her exhaustion each morning

Was as a result of the Princess and a penis

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 12

 

Hansel and Gretel’s little trips

Were very stimulating for Hansel

Because once deep in the woods

He got a hand job from Gretel

GRETEL DIDN’T GO TO THE WOODS

 

Gretel didn’t go to the woods

Looking for a house of gingerbread

When she walked along with Hansel

She was looking for a muffin instead

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 11

 

Hansel and Gretel’s little trips

Were always exceedingly fruitful

Because once deep in the woods

They became Handsy and Grateful

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 10

 

Tinderfella went to the dance

Looking for a little romance

But in the end he didn’t find her

Because they were all on grindr

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 9

 

New mattresses were ordered

For the bed of Princess Kayleigh

As they were changing the beds

For The Princess And The Pee

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 8

 

Fumble Lina, Fumble Lina sexy little thing

Fumble Lina prance, Fumble Lina swing

Fumble Lina all I do is give a whistle or give a call

And because you’re so full of lust you let me have it all

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 7

 

“You'll never guess my name”

Taunted Rumpelstiltskin.

“I know” she said “but that’s because

Of the Gimp Mask you’re wearing”

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 6

 

She was drinking in the forest

But she didn't want Tango to sup,

That wasn’t for Snow White,

She much preferred her 7up

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 5

 

The classic tale of Goldilocks

Should never have included Bears  

The Girl was gay so it was actually

Goldilocks and the Three Mares

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 4

 

He bragged about a conquest

Of a slender, older sylph

But of course no one believed

The boy who Cried MILF!

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 3

 

Babes in the wood

And their escapades

Is now a porn film,

Wood in the Babes

THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF

 

The boy who cried Wolf

Continued to get beaten on

And that’s because it wasn’t

The safe word they agreed on

WHY IS THE EMPEROR NAKED?

 

Why is the Emperor Naked?

Well, I heard from one who knows

It’s to do with the company he keeps

Namely “The Emperor's New Ho’s”

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 2

 

The sorcerer’s apprentice

Wasn’t there for tutorage

He was only interested in

The Sorcerer's Appendage

FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 1

 

Snow White thought

7-Up was just a drink

But meeting the dwarves

Caused her to rethink

WHEN THE PRINCESS FOUND THE FROG

 

When the princess found the frog

And the kiss was firmly planted

The prince turned out to be gay

And the Princess was disenchanted