BAGGAGE REGULATIONS

 

A vulture boarded

A jumbo jet

Carrying two dead

Marmoset

 

The stewardess said

"I'm sorry sir,

Only one carrion
Per passenger"

THE BUDDHIST AT THE DENTIST

The Buddhist monk

Following dental examination

Refused an injection

For his required dental extrication

Instead, he chose to

Transcend dental medication

SILENT STANDS

 

Silent stands

The winding gear

The pithead sealed

Five and twenty year

 

Miners no longer toil

With honest dignity

Coal now comes

On boats across the sea

 

Silent stands

The eerie monument

To stubborn arrogance

And bad judgement

 

Rust abounds

As far as you can see

The mining gone for good

That’s Scargill’s legacy

WHAT CAN I EAT?

 

I don’t want Swine flu

So, no more pork for me

I don’t want Bird flu

So, no chicken fricassee

I don’t want mad cow disease

So, no more Beef for me

I don’t want Salmonella

So, no dippy eggs for tea

With mercury in the water

I will no longer eat fish

There is pollution in the air

So, I’ll eat no bird related dish

I cannot eat any type of fruit

Because of insecticides

And all vegetables are out

Because of the herbicides

So, I am at a loss now

To know what I can eat

There is of course chocolate

But then what would be my treat?

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 22

 

Twinkle, twinkle little star,

How I wonder what you are?

Are you the star I saw before?

Or an earth destroying meteor

FRIENDSHIP # 3

 

Dearest friends thank you

For being there when I need to cry

And when I need to laugh

You’re the blue in my sky

HAPPY BIRTHDAY # 18

 

If you creak and groan

Just tying up a shoe

And your back goes out

More than you do

It’s best not to have a drink

You’d better have a few