MY LUGGAGE GOT TRASHED AT THE AIRPORT

 

My luggage got trashed at the airport

So I made a claim at the appropriate place

But after filling out all the relevant forms

I was told I didn’t have much of a case

AIRPORT AIRHEAD

Bimbette called the Airport and asked

“How long will it take to fly from London

To Athens?” The agent replied, “Just a minute”

“Thank you” Bimbette said and she was gone

AS WE APPROACHED THE AIRPORT

 

As we approached the airport

The warning light went on

And I had to return the stewardess

To the upright position

HOW DO YOU MAKE A FRUIT FLY?

 

How do you make a fruit fly?

Well first a ticket you need to buy

Then give him a good snort

And then take him to the airport

BAGGAGE REGULATIONS

 

A vulture boarded

A jumbo jet

Carrying two dead

Marmoset

 

The stewardess said

"I'm sorry sir,

Only one carrion
Per passenger"

REPELLING BOARDERS

 

She stood at the departure gate

Smiling and checking boarding passes

Dealing with the happy and the mad

The good the bad and the silly arses

When a tottering man approached

She extended her hand for his ticket

When he opened up his rain coat

And blatantly flashed her his wicket

He smiled inanely and swayed about

Having spent too much time in the pub

Without batting an eyelid she said,

"I need to see the ticket not your stub."

BUDGET

 

They take you here

They take you there

To do it cheap

Just fly Chav air

AIR HEAD

 

Bimbette went to the airport

And saw a sign that said

“Airport left,” she turned around

And went home instead

SAFE AS SAFE

If flying is so safe

So safe you’re invulnerable

Why do they call?

The airport the terminal?