Showing posts with label Swine Flu. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Swine Flu. Show all posts

Tuesday, 2 May 2023

I PHONED THE SWINE FLU HOTLINE

I phoned the swine flu hotline

When my chest started rattling

Because that was the advice

But all I got was crackling 

Saturday, 13 August 2022

IF YOU GET AN EMAIL OR TWO

 

If you get an email or two

About catching Swine Flu

From tinned cooked ham

Delete them as its Spam

Saturday, 5 March 2022

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 38

 

Ring-a-Ring o'Rosies

A Pocket full of Posies

“Pig flu! Pig flu!”

We all take a sickie!

Friday, 18 February 2022

WHAT CAN I EAT?

 

I don’t want Swine flu

So, no more pork for me

I don’t want Bird flu

So, no chicken fricassee

I don’t want mad cow disease

So, no more Beef for me

I don’t want Salmonella

So, no dippy eggs for tea

With mercury in the water

I will no longer eat fish

There is pollution in the air

So, I’ll eat no bird related dish

I cannot eat any type of fruit

Because of insecticides

And all vegetables are out

Because of the herbicides

So, I am at a loss now

To know what I can eat

There is of course chocolate

But then what would be my treat?

Saturday, 12 February 2022

FEVERISH ONCE MORE

 

That medical catastrophe

The flu pandemic

Is not as bad as expected

It’s not even an epidemic

A large number of reported cases

On closer examination

Were found to have been

In contact with evergreen vegetation

This is a totally different strain

Of contagious flu

Which the W.H.O.

Has been renamed Pine flu

FEVERISH MORE AND MORE

 

That medical catastrophe

The flu pandemic

Is not as bad as expected

It’s not even an epidemic

A large number of reported cases

On closer examination

Were found to have been

Preceded by infatuation

This is a totally different strain

Of contagious flu

Which the W.H.O.

Has been renamed swoon flu

Friday, 11 February 2022

FEVERISH ONCE AGAIN

 

That medical catastrophe

The flu pandemic

Is not as bad as expected

It’s not even an epidemic

A large number of reported cases

On closer examination

Were found to have been

Preceded by infatuation

This is a totally different strain

Of contagious flu

Which the W.H.O.

Has been renamed swain flu


Thursday, 10 February 2022

FEVERISH AGAIN

 

I am suffering from gammon flu

It’s not particularly nasty

I was suffering from swine flu

But then they cured me

FEVERISH YET AGAIN

 

That medical catastrophe

The flu pandemic

Is not as bad as expected

It’s not even an epidemic

A large number of reported cases

Turned out to be MAN flu

Which the W.H.O.

Has been renamed whine flu

FEVERISH AGAIN AND AGAIN

 

That medical catastrophe

The flu pandemic

Is not as bad as expected

It’s not even an epidemic

A large number of reported cases

On closer examination

Were found to have been

Preceded by intoxication

This is a totally different strain

Of contagious flu

Which the W.H.O.

Has been renamed wine flu

Friday, 4 February 2022

EPIDEMIC TO PANDEMIC

 

The UK swine flu cases

Have now reach sixty-two

But the shocking news

That’s being kept from you

Is of the 35 million

Confirmed cases of man flu

Monday, 31 January 2022

FEVERISH

 

I don’t think I have swine flu

As I haven’t been to Mexico

But I don’t feel well at all

I feel like crap if you must know

I thought of the NHS for advice

On the flu and perhaps its tackling

So I phoned the swine flu hotline

But all I got was crackling

Thursday, 7 October 2021

FEVERISH

 

I don’t think I have swine flu

As I haven’t been to Mexico

But I don’t feel well at all

I feel like crap if you must know

I thought of the NHS for advice

On the flu and perhaps its tackling

So I phoned the swine flu hotline

But all I got was crackling