I phoned the swine flu hotline
When my chest started
rattling
Because that was the
advice
But all I got was crackling
Showing posts with label Swine Flu. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Swine Flu. Show all posts
Tuesday 2 May 2023
Saturday 13 August 2022
IF YOU GET AN EMAIL OR TWO
If you get an email or two
About catching Swine
Flu
From tinned cooked ham
Delete them as its
Spam
Saturday 5 March 2022
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 38
Ring-a-Ring o'Rosies
A Pocket full of Posies
“Pig flu! Pig flu!”
We all take a sickie!
Friday 18 February 2022
WHAT CAN I EAT?
I don’t want Swine flu
So, no more pork for
me
I don’t want Bird flu
So, no chicken
fricassee
I don’t want mad cow
disease
So, no more Beef for
me
I don’t want
Salmonella
So, no dippy eggs for
tea
With mercury in the
water
I will no longer eat
fish
There is pollution in
the air
So, I’ll eat no bird
related dish
I cannot eat any type
of fruit
Because of
insecticides
And all vegetables are
out
Because of the herbicides
So, I am at a loss now
To know what I can eat
There is of course
chocolate
But then what would be
my treat?
Saturday 12 February 2022
FEVERISH ONCE MORE
That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as
expected
It’s not even an
epidemic
A large number of
reported cases
On closer examination
Were found to have
been
In contact with
evergreen vegetation
This is a totally
different strain
Of contagious flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed Pine
flu
FEVERISH MORE AND MORE
That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as
expected
It’s not even an
epidemic
A large number of
reported cases
On closer examination
Were found to have
been
Preceded by
infatuation
This is a totally
different strain
Of contagious flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed swoon
flu
Friday 11 February 2022
FEVERISH ONCE AGAIN
That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as
expected
It’s not even an
epidemic
A large number of
reported cases
On closer examination
Were found to have been
Preceded by
infatuation
This is a totally
different strain
Of contagious flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed swain
flu
Thursday 10 February 2022
FEVERISH AGAIN
I am suffering from gammon flu
It’s not particularly
nasty
I was suffering from
swine flu
But then they cured me
FEVERISH YET AGAIN
That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as expected
It’s not even an
epidemic
A large number of
reported cases
Turned out to be MAN
flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed whine
flu
FEVERISH AGAIN AND AGAIN
That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as
expected
It’s not even an epidemic
A large number of
reported cases
On closer examination
Were found to have
been
Preceded by
intoxication
This is a totally
different strain
Of contagious flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed wine
flu
Friday 4 February 2022
EPIDEMIC TO PANDEMIC
The UK swine flu cases
Have now reach sixty-two
But the shocking news
That’s being kept from
you
Is of the 35 million
Confirmed cases of man
flu
Monday 31 January 2022
FEVERISH
I don’t think I have swine flu
As I haven’t been to
Mexico
But I don’t feel well
at all
I feel like crap if
you must know
I thought of the NHS
for advice
On the flu and perhaps
its tackling
So I phoned the swine
flu hotline
But all I got was
crackling
Thursday 7 October 2021
FEVERISH
I don’t think I have swine flu
As I haven’t been to
Mexico
But I don’t feel well
at all
I feel like crap if
you must know
I thought of the NHS
for advice
On the flu and perhaps
its tackling
So I phoned the swine
flu hotline
But all I got was
crackling
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