I phoned the swine flu hotline
When my chest started
rattling
Because that was the
advice
But all I got was crackling
I phoned the swine flu hotline
When my chest started
rattling
Because that was the
advice
But all I got was crackling
If you get an email or two
About catching Swine
Flu
From tinned cooked ham
Delete them as its
Spam
Ring-a-Ring o'Rosies
A Pocket full of Posies
“Pig flu! Pig flu!”
We all take a sickie!
I don’t want Swine flu
So, no more pork for
me
I don’t want Bird flu
So, no chicken
fricassee
I don’t want mad cow
disease
So, no more Beef for
me
I don’t want
Salmonella
So, no dippy eggs for
tea
With mercury in the
water
I will no longer eat
fish
There is pollution in
the air
So, I’ll eat no bird
related dish
I cannot eat any type
of fruit
Because of
insecticides
And all vegetables are
out
Because of the herbicides
So, I am at a loss now
To know what I can eat
There is of course
chocolate
But then what would be
my treat?
That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as
expected
It’s not even an
epidemic
A large number of
reported cases
On closer examination
Were found to have
been
In contact with
evergreen vegetation
This is a totally
different strain
Of contagious flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed Pine
flu
That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as
expected
It’s not even an
epidemic
A large number of
reported cases
On closer examination
Were found to have
been
Preceded by
infatuation
This is a totally
different strain
Of contagious flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed swoon
flu
That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as
expected
It’s not even an
epidemic
A large number of
reported cases
On closer examination
Were found to have been
Preceded by
infatuation
This is a totally
different strain
Of contagious flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed swain
flu
I am suffering from gammon flu
It’s not particularly
nasty
I was suffering from
swine flu
But then they cured me
That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as expected
It’s not even an
epidemic
A large number of
reported cases
Turned out to be MAN
flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed whine
flu
That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as
expected
It’s not even an epidemic
A large number of
reported cases
On closer examination
Were found to have
been
Preceded by
intoxication
This is a totally
different strain
Of contagious flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed wine
flu
The UK swine flu cases
Have now reach sixty-two
But the shocking news
That’s being kept from
you
Is of the 35 million
Confirmed cases of man
flu
I don’t think I have swine flu
As I haven’t been to
Mexico
But I don’t feel well
at all
I feel like crap if
you must know
I thought of the NHS
for advice
On the flu and perhaps
its tackling
So I phoned the swine
flu hotline
But all I got was
crackling
I don’t think I have swine flu
As I haven’t been to
Mexico
But I don’t feel well
at all
I feel like crap if
you must know
I thought of the NHS
for advice
On the flu and perhaps
its tackling
So I phoned the swine
flu hotline
But all I got was
crackling