LUVVIE

 

“Break a leg darling”

Old thespians cry

As they tread the boards

And in fear of a mythical curse

Talk of the “Scottish play”

Off stage

They bore one and all

With quotes of the bard

And shamelessly drop names

Whilst imparting anecdotes

And listing credits long past

ART ABLAZE

When the blaze struck

That warehouse in Leyton

Works of Brit art were lost

By Hirst and Emin

A fifty million collection

Belonging to Charles Saatchi

What a dreadful shame

That the warehouse was half empty

TELL ME LOVIE

If all the world is a stage

As they say

Where is the audience sitting?

Tell me pray?

I CAN’T WATCH CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON

 

I can’t watch Christopher Eccleston

I find his speech very distracting

He was clearly a graduate

Of the shouty school of acting

HELENA OF JOY

 

I have to say that Helena Bonham Carter has always rung my bell if you understand my meaning.

I first saw the beautiful young woman with the large dark eyes in her early appearances in “A Room With A View” and “Lady Jane Grey” and I have followed her career through her classical rolls to an outing with Woody Allen with great interest.

Even when she was in “The Theory Of Flight” and she played a dying woman, wheelchair bound with motor neuron disease, she still did it for me oh yes indeed.

When she was cast in “Planet Of The Apes” I was at first very excited and then a little disappointed when I discovered she was going to be playing princess Ari, an ape, and would therefore be completely hidden.

Well, I needn't have worried she was wonderful no amount of makeup could ever disguise her exceptional eyes and her movement was truly very provocative.

However, I have now decided that perhaps my interest in her is becoming a little too focused although I don’t want you getting the wrong idea, I'm not a stalker or anything of that nature but I am getting a little worried now by the effect she’s having on me.

For example, on a recent trip to London zoo with my family I found myself getting unnaturally aroused when we entered the primate house.

Enough said, I think.

THE SCULPTOR CREATES

 

The sculptor creates

With skilful hands

The beauteous article

An artistic gift

Its concept borrowed

From his dreams

And his subconscious mind

To infuse in his design

And create a work of art

FOOLS

 

Any fool can paint a picture

Or even to write a po-em

But it really takes a genius

To find a fool to buy them

Oh Serena

OWN IT SERENA

It wasn’t sexist, and it wasn’t unfair
Nor was it racist Serena, let’s be fair
The truth is you threw a huge tantrum
Because you knew your day was done

MASSIVE OVEREACTION

Portraying Serena as an angry black woman
In the Herald Sun wasn’t racist in anyway
As she was Angry, and she is a black woman
And it was a caricature at the end of the day

A CARICATURE OF A RESPONSE

To exaggerate characteristics
For humorous effect is how
A Caricature is intended
It’s ironic the reaction to it
By Rowling and the like
Has also been exaggerated

A Mixed Bag of Poems

AT THE ELEVENTH HOUR

At the eleventh hour
On the eleventh day
Of the eleventh month
We heard the generals say
You can go home now lads
To the land you’ve defended
Thank God one and all
That the madness has ended

MICHAELMAS DAISY

Lovely Miss Aster,
My flower girl Maisie
My natural beauty
I love her like crazy
My own precious
Michaelmas Daisy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD

Happy birthday dad
See, we did remember
Because you are so dear
Just like every year

We will never forget
We just wish and wish
You were still here
Just like every year

So we wish you
A happy birthday
And wipe away a tear
Just like every year

Harold Curtis 19/6/1922 – 8/5/1978

DANCING PIXIES IN THE GREEN

Dancing pixies in the green
And sparkling water sprites
Oft heard but never seen
Bathing in the morning light

DEATH IN THE SHADOWS

Death in the shadows
Grim reaper take flight
Don’t let me be the one
You’re coming for tonight

PEBBLES SMOOTH

Pebbles smooth,
Like crude glass
Smoothed by nature
Time and tide
Its patterned form
Marbled in style
Sits comfortably
In the fingers
To be skimmed
Back to the ocean

I HEAR A SINGING CHILD

I hear a singing child
Innocently engrossed
In childish play
Singing sweetly
To her audience of dolls
Safely oblivious
In her enchanted world
Would that it could
Always be that way

DEAR OSCAR

He was witty
Blessed with a fine mind
A bel esprit
And was the clever kind

MICHAELMAS DAY

Feast of the Archangels
As the autumn equinox nears
Michaelmas marks the turning
Of the husbandman's year

29th September

THE SCULPTOR CREATES

The sculptor creates
With skilful hands
The beauteous article
An artistic gift
Its concept borrowed
From his dreams
And his subconscious mind
To infuse in his design
And create a work of art

DREDGING IS NO SILVER BULLET

Dredging is no silver bullet
Is the word coming from their ranks
But at least it would be something
To prevent rivers bursting their banks
While the environment agency
Just blindly keep on firing blanks

SLAVERY WAS BORN OF EMPIRE

Slavery was born of Empire
But not a European one
Slavery existed for centuries
In fact thousands of years
Way before Europe rose to the fore
Even the Romans came late to the party
Following in Greece’s footsteps
Peoples were enslaved
From around the globe
Where there were trade routes
There was slaving
Arabs traded slaves bought
From African tribesmen
Muslims enslaved slavs
Turks enslaved Ukrainians
Mongols reached into the heart of Europe
And took slaves by the thousand
White Europeans became involved
Black enslaved black
White has enslaved white
I don’t know if it will ever end
I certainly hope so
But what I do know is
That the British didn’t invent it

ORIGINAL FAIRY TALES

Original Fairy Tales
Were not devised
To scare children
And inform them
That monsters existed
Children already knew
There were monsters
What Fairy Tales did
Was to teach children
That monsters
Could be beaten

NAZISM WAS LIKE A CANCER

Nazism was like a cancer
Spread across the continent
And when Hitler was defeated
It was not a cure, for the cancer
Was merely in remission

Arty

THE POET DIPS HIS QUILL

The poet dips his quill
In the inkwell of the muse
The resulting flowing words
Are the fruit of thought
Gathered on the page
In a Poetic harvest

IN THE WELL OF THOUGHTS

In the well of thoughts
The wordsmith dips his cup
In search of inspiration
And drinks deep the draught
But when the spark is struck
The muse was present
At the moment of conception

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 1

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks
Most are just scrounging off the state
But there is one working at our salon
He doesn’t really communicate
And he scares a lot of the customers
When is says “Exfoliate, exfoliate”

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 2

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks
Most are just scrounging off the state
But there is one working at our uni
He doesn’t really communicate
And he scares a lot of the students
When is says “Extrapolate, Extrapolate”
SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 3

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks
Most are just scrounging off the state
But there is one working at the Vatican
He doesn’t really communicate
And it scares a lot of the devout
When it says Excommunicate, Excommunicate

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 4

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks
Most are just scrounging off the state
But there is one working at the Old Bailey
He doesn’t really communicate
And it scares a lot of the Barristers
When it says Exonerate, Exonerate

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 5

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks
Most are just scrounging off the state
But there is one working at the Old Bailey
He doesn’t really communicate
And it scares a lot of the Barristers
When it says Extenuate, Extenuate

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 6

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks
Most are just scrounging off the state
But there is one working at the Uni
He doesn’t really communicate
And it scares a lot of the debaters
When it says Expostulate, Expostulate

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 7

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks
Most are just scrounging off the state
But there is one working at Tesco’s
He doesn’t really communicate
And it scares a lot of the shoppers
When it says Extortionate, Extortionate

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 8

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks
Most are just scrounging off the state
But there is one working at the theme park
He doesn’t really communicate
And it scares a lot of the visitors
When it says Exhilarate, Exhilarate

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 9

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks
Most are just scrounging off the state
But there is one working as a Miner
He doesn’t really communicate
And it scares a lot of the workers
When it says Excavate, Excavate


SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 10

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks
Most are just scrounging off the state
But there is one working at the Hotel
He doesn’t really communicate
And it scares a lot of the Guests
When it says Remunerate, Remunerate

FILM CHOICE

How too choose, how to select
A film to fill that two hour slot
The bumph will big it up
Over egg the pudding like as not
So I look for key word like
“Thought provoking” or “moody”
“Poignant, “Critically acclaimed”
Or “Stunning cinematography”
And when I’ve identified them
I know they are the ones to miss
And I get the one with the cover picture
Of a girl in a state of undress