A Little Bit Of Humour # 54

ARE YOU WEARING A POUT?

Are you wearing a pout?
Well it’s bold without a doubt
But the overwhelming impression
Is that you look like a trout

ARE YOU WEARING A PLEASANT LOOK?

Are you wearing a pleasant look?
It’s effecting me quite unnervingly
Clearly the fact that you’re smiling
Should on its own be scaring me

MY SON CAME RUSHING HOME FROM SCHOOL

My son came rushing home from school
With great excitement from the start
“I’m in the play and I play a married man
I said "So you didn’t get a speaking part?”

MY KIDS ARE MAD AT ME

I put Ginger in the Curry
And my kids are angry at that
I thought it was very tasty
But they really loved that cat

MY KIDS ARE STILL MAD AT ME

I put Ginger in the Casserole
I am in trouble as is the habit
I thought it was very tasty
But they really loved that rabbit

CHERYL COLE LIKE OTHER CELEBS

Cheryl Cole like other celebs
Feels she’d like to do her bit
And she wants to fight Malaria
Because you’re worth it

WHEN THEY TOLD CHERYL COLE

When they told Cheryl Cole
That she had la fièvre malerial
She just thought it must be
A new product from L’Oreal

NOT MY BETTER HALF

I went out with him
Because he was laugh
But now he’s just become
My bitter half

SHE WAS A REAL GOLD DIGGER

She was a real gold digger
And one of life’s man eaters
Who went about her task
With a net and a team of beaters

HE WAS A ROGUE WHEN HE LIVED

He was a rogue when he lived
And won’t be missed a bit
When you lay him in a box
Don’t buy the expensive kit
Or he’ll return from beyond
And then he’ll try to sell it

SHE LOOKED TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE

She looked gorgeous in
Black stockings and stiletto shoes
But after we got naked
I was singing the lady boy blues

I HAD TO DUMP MY GIRLFRIEND

I had to dump my girlfriend
I met her thru a dating agency
Because she thought that scruples
Was the Russian currency

THE TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGING

I am not opposed to the clocks
Going forward in the spring
But it could be handled better
To make it less exhausting
Take the hour from Friday afternoon
Instead of Sunday morning

ARE YOU WEARING A HAIR PIECE?

Are you wearing a hair piece?
Well that shouldn’t be a gobsmack
The wig is a shade of brown
And your own hair is jet black

ARE YOU WEARING A DUNCE’S CAP?

Are you wearing a dunce’s cap?
Of course that’s not inappropriate
I’m sorry to act surprised it’s my fault.
For a second I forgot you were an idiot