A Little Bit Of Humour # 52

ARE YOU WEARING A FOOTBALL SHIRT?

Are you wearing a football shirt?
I like lady footballers for my sins
My only regret in your regard
Is you choose shirts instead of skins

ARE YOU WEARING FOOTMALL SOCKS?

Are you wearing football socks?
Well yes you’ve got the right team
But you have forgotten to wear
The rest of the kit it would seem

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 323

Higgledy Piggledy
My pet hen
Has shat all over
The carpet again

ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY KNEES?

“Are you looking at my knees?”
She asked me right out flat
I just looked at her coyly
And said “No I’m above that”

ARE YOU WEARING BREEKS?

Are you wearing breeks?
And very fetching they are Hen
And now if you wouldn’t mind
Can you take them off again?

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 324

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To where the Vodka was stashed
And on the quiet moonlit hill
The two of them got smashed

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 325

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep
And doesn’t know where to find them
But we all know that Greek Giorgio
Has already Kebabed them

ARE YOU WEARING A DISGUISE?

Are you wearing a disguise?
I think that’s probably wise
For to risk discovery is rash
For special agent Dick Splash

ARE YOU WEARING THAT FOR A GIGGLE?

Are you wearing that for a giggle?
And I love your sense of humour
And I you have a good one too
Despite the contrary rumour

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 326

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a geezer
Who stood right behind her
And gave her a goose whey hey

ARE YOU WEARING A TRICORN HAT?

Are you wearing a tricorn hat?
It looks quite comfortable
I hope you’re going to a party
And you don’t think you’re John Bull

ARE YOU WEARING A BICORN HAT?

Are you wearing a bicorn hat?
With red, white and blue on
I hope you’re going to a party
And you don’t think you’re Wellington

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 327

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To fetch the poor dog a bone
Then she remembered
She didn’t have a dog

ARE YOU WEARING A COCKED HAT?

Are you wearing a cocked hat?
With red, white and blue on
I hope you’re going to a party
And you don’t think you’re Napolean

ARE YOU WEARING A WIZARD’S HAT?

Are you wearing a wizard’s hat?
Just like they do at Hogwarts
But it’s not really appropriate
For when you’re playing sports

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 328

Sing a song of sixpence
A pocket full of rye
Its two and a half p now
But that doesn’t rhyme