A Little Bit Of Humour # 44

ARE YOU WEARING A DIAPER?

Are you wearing a Diaper?
Well if that’s what you wish
But have you become incontinent?
Or is it just some kind of fetish

I WAS ONCE A MEDICAL STUDENT # 7

I was once a medical student
But I didn’t really concentrate
I was asked what “benign” meant
Alas it’s not after you be eight

WHAT KIND OF FOOD IS MUESLI?

What kind of food is Muesli?
It’s really rather absurd
On the farm it’s not dissimilar
To what we feed the herd

PUT DOWN # 56

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he starts spinning you a line
And your tolerance reaches saturation
Just say “You’re beginning to make sense
It must be time for my medication."

THAT DRESS IS QUITE REVEALING

That dress is quite revealing
Your breasts it’s barely concealing
I think perhaps your teasing
Offering them up for squeezing
Your bust does look rather ample
Go on let me have another sample

ALWAYS READ STUFF THAT

Always read stuff that
Will make you look good
If you are struck with death
Earlier than you should

ARE YOU WEARING A TARTAN SKIRT?

Are you wearing a Tartan skirt?
And what’s above your socks?
If I were able to take a look
I could maybe see the Trossachs

YOU HAVE A REALLY DELICIOUS FIGURE

You have a really delicious figure
Oh I so love it when you wiggle
As you parade with vim and vigour
And you make your goodies jiggle

IF YOU’RE CONSIDERING A TATT

If you’re considering a Tatt
I suggest you think about that
Realise what it is you’re looking at
And let me tip you the wink
Just pause if you’re on the brink
And think before you ink

AN EARLY SIGN OF SUMMER

An early sign of Summer
But make no mistake
One swallow does not
A stag night make

DO YOU LIKE PICNICS?

Do you like picnics?
There’s one on Sunday
If you say yes
It could be a funday
But let me say
Before we begin
Bring a blanket and be
Prepared to sin

VINCENT VAN GOGH’S SUNFLOWERS

Vincent Van Gogh’s Sunflowers
Brought me to tears
If I had painted them I would
Have cut off both ears

MY UNCLE JOHN IS RETIRED

My Uncle John is retired
He doesn’t miss work, He says
But the people he worked with
During his professional days
Of course he lies to spare them
Which is one of his ways

21ST CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 294

Eppie Marly's thinks she’s fine,
And won’t go out to herd the swine,
She lies in her bed till eight or nine,
The lads on the farm all think its fine

ARE YOU WEARING A NAPPY?

Are you wearing a nappy?
Well if that’s what you wish
But have you become incontinent?
Or is it just some kind of fetish