A Little Bit Of Humour # 41

ARE YOU WEARING ANGEL’S WINGS?

Are you wearing angel’s wings?
As someone’s special surprise
I hope you’re not too angelic
And you’re a Devil in disguise

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 310

Mary had a camper van
She took it to the wood
She said that I could come
But I misunderstood

I WAS ONCE A MEDICAL STUDENT # 4

I was once a medical student
But they had to send me home
I thought that a “seizure”
Was an Emperor of Rome

THEY’D NEVER HEARD OF YOGURT

They’d never heard of yogurt
When my Mum was young
And putting it on your privates
Would’ve got you hung

RETIRED PEOPLE DON’T CARE BEING

Retired people don’t care being
Called Pensioners on any account
Because the name pensioner comes
With a concessionary discount

PUT DOWN # 53

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he starts spinning you a line
Just Say if his patter doesn’t pass
“Don’t make me go psycho bitch
On your annoying little ass”

A DOCTOR DROWNED IN A WATER HOLE

A doctor drowned in a water hole
Which goes to prove at any rate
He should have thought about the sick
And left the well alone mate

THEY JUST KEEP ON TALKING

They just keep on talking
Long after people are
No longer interested
So we should pity the teacher

SOME PEOPLE NEED TO EXTRACT

Some people need to extract
Their finger out of their butt again
To get some much needed
Oxygen to their brain

WISE OLD SAGE

It was previously said
By a very wise man
“I don’t know
Ask a woman”

I ORDERED A BURGER AND FRIES

I ordered a burger and fries
Even though I know it’s all full of fat
but the girl behind the counter
Said “would you like fries with that?”

WHEN PEOPLE WALK INTO YOUR LIFE

When people walk into your life
You can’t always control who
But you can control which window
You throw them threw

POP-UPS

Life is full of people
Who “pop in” or “pop out”
But if we were meant to “pop”
We’d all live in toasters

TWO PSYCHICS

Two psychics stopped and the first one said
As by chance they happened to meet
“You're feeling good today. How am I?”
As they met one another in the street

ARE YOU WEARING TARTY GARB?

Are you wearing tarty garb?
Well I will say this for a start
You might well get picked up
But no one wants to date a tart