A Little Bit Of Humour # 47

ARE YOU WEARING A LOOK OF DISAPPOINTMENT?

Are you wearing a look of disappointment?
Well I think you’re guilty of lily gilding
Because at your age using Viagra is like
Putting a new flagpole on a condemned building

WATER BOY

When my Granddad was a boy
Water came out of the tap
It was the wonder of the age
Fresh water from your tap
If a man had even suggested
They bottle it and sell it
For more than the price of beer
He’d have been repeatedly hit

I WENT TO THE CEMETERY WITH GRANDDAD

I went to the cemetery with Granddad
To visit the grave of Grandma Dot
But after an hour of wandering around
I thought Granddad had lost the plot

WHEN MY DAD WAS A BOY

When my dad was a boy
There was no such thing as sushi
In fact during the depression
Eating raw fish was considered poverty

LEADERS OF THE GREAT NATIONS

Leaders of the great nations
Who want respect from society
Should moderate their behaviours
And steer clear of notoriety

HAVE FAITH

Have faith
In the force from afar
Trust in God
But lock the car

IF YOU SEE A MAN RUNNING FROM A LION

If you see a man running from a Lion
Run like hell, run as fast as you can
But you don’t need to out run the Lion
You just need to run faster than the man

IF YOU SEE A BOMB DISPOSAL MAN

If you see a bomb disposal man
Running away from the bomb
You should at least keep up with him
Or out run him with aplomb

THE SIMPLE TRUTH OF AVIATION

The simple truth
Up in the skies
If a pilot messes up,
Then the pilot dies
If a controller messes up
Then the pilot dies

IN ONE RESPECT WE HAVE

In one respect we have
I can proudly declare
A perfect aviation record
We never left one up there

IF YOU GET INTO DIFFICULTY

If you get into difficulty
During the flight
Then flying the aeroplane
And getting it right
Is more important
Than radioing your plight
To someone on the ground
Who, no matter how sound
Are incapable of understanding it
Or doing anything about it

TINY THING

Tiny thing
A new baby
Totally dependent
A new life
That new Parents
Have to keep alive
Like a Tamagotchi
But without a reset

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 315

Ding dong dell
Pussy’s in the well
And that’s what happens
When you piss in my garden

ARE YOU WEARING THAT FOR A LAUGH?

Are you wearing that for a laugh?
Well you are a sight not to be missed
But given the fact we’re in church
I would suggest that you are pissed