A Little Bit Of Humour # 51

ARE YOU WEARING A CORSAGE? # 1

Are you wearing a corsage?
On your ample rounded breast
What a beautiful creation
I like the little rose bud best

SNOW NOTSO-WHITE AND THE SEVEN DIRTY DWARFS

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
It's home from work we go
We all have ways to relax at night
Cokey snorts some Snow White
Creepy likes flashing in the park
Sleezy self abuses in the dark
Gropey likes trains in rush hour
Humpy pays for girls by the hour
Lustful hangs around at the docks
And Prof comes home with the pox

SALT AND SHAKE

When I was a kid all crisps were plain
But we didn’t care about that a jot
After all we still had the choice
Of whether to put the salt on or not

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 319

Mary had a little bra
Which wasn’t really fair
Because like her mother
She had a massive pair

SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DAY WEEK

On Monday Snow White feels Sneezy
On Tuesday she’s feeling grumpy
By Wednesday she feels Dopey
And On Thursday she’s feeling Bashful
On Friday Snow White feels Happy
And On Saturday she feels Sleepy
But on Sunday when she wants a rest
Then Doc gets inside her vest

ARE YOU WEARING GLITTER EYE LASHES?

Are you wearing glitter eye lashes?
It’s a very interesting look
Not enough people make themselves
Appear ridiculous in my book

ARE YOU WEARING A CHEST WIG?

Are you wearing a chest wig?
Did you get it off a yeti?
He must be cold without it
But it does suit you Betty

WE USED TO EAT A LOT OF RICE

We used to eat a lot of rice
When I was a boy, no kidding
But never for our dinner, we had it
With condensed milk for pudding

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 320

Mary had some little drawers
Which always struck me dumb
Because like her mother
She had a massive bum

ARE YOU WEARING A SLEEPSUIT?

Are you wearing a sleepsuit?
Well on a baby it looks cute
Even on my girlfriend it can
But not on a fifty year old man

ARE YOU WEARING PJ’S?

Are you wearing PJ’s?
Well all I can say is phwor
Betty Boop is my favourite
And I’ve never wanted you more

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 321

There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Unlike all her mates
Who had theirs waxed

ARE YOU WEARING A REPLICA SHIRT?

Are you wearing a replica shirt?
So what team is it you support?
I don’t recognise the badge
Who the hell are Southport?

ARE YOU WEARING FOOTBALL BOOTS?

Are you wearing football boots?
Well I can see you’re ready to play
I have just one small criticism
Namely we’re playing golf today

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 322

It’s raining its pouring
The weather’s wet and stormy
I went to bed because they said
It’s due to global warming