THE SECRET TO A LONG HAPPY MARRIAGE

 

The secret to a long happy marriage

Is soft music and candlelight dinners

As long as you don’t go together

And then you’ll both be winners

I WEEP AT THE TERRIBLE

I weep at the terrible

Bad luck in my life

For example

My first wife

She left me

After a few years

My second one has stayed,

Hence the tears 

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 181

Mary wore a little skirt

And she liked to go commando

And everyone from roundabout

Could see her down below

ARE YOU WEARING A PONYTAIL?

 

Are you wearing a ponytail?

Don’t you think that look is stale?

Even at its most dizzy height

That look never looked quite right

 

So, what were you thinking?

When you decided to have it done

It’s not appropriate for you

Now you’ve just turned eighty-one

TRAFFIC COP – DON’T BE TOO FUNNY

 

Sometimes you can talk

Your way out of a ticket

A little bit of charm

Is probably the safest bet

Humour can work as well

So, say to the men in blue

“You don’t need to check

In the boot, do you?”

MY BOSS DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM

 

My Boss doesn’t go to the gym

But it’s not a case of him being slack  

He gets all the exercise he needs

Just by stabbing people in the back

OUR COMPUTERS WENT DOWN

 

Our computers went down

At the office today

So, we had to do things

The old-fashioned way

But Doris had a pack of cards

So, playing cards was ok