IN THE CORRIDORS AT MY SCHOOL

 

In the corridors at my school

We were allowed to run

There was a simple explanation,

We didn’t have a gymnasium

MY BOSS DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM

 

My Boss doesn’t go to the gym

But it’s not a case of him being slack  

He gets all the exercise he needs

Just by stabbing people in the back

MY DAD DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM # 2

 

My Dad doesn’t go to the gym

And he hasn’t yet come unstuck  

As he gets all the exercise he needs

Entirely by pushing my luck

MY DAD DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM # 1

 

My Dad doesn’t go to the gym

He has no need of their facilities  

As he gets all the exercise he needs

Just by dodging his responsibilities

MY WIFE DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM # 3

 

My wife doesn’t go to the gym

She’s the fittest lass around

As she gets all the exercise she needs

Just from running people down

MY WIFE DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM # 2

 

My wife doesn’t go to the gym

She’s as skinny as a candle

As she gets all the exercise she needs

Just from flying off the handle

MY WIFE DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM # 1

 

My wife doesn’t go to the gym

She doesn’t suffer from delusions  

But she gets all the exercise she needs

Just from jumping to conclusions

LET’S SPLIT

I’ve always wanted to learn to do the splits

It’s an ambition since my earliest days

The guy at the gym said, “How flexible are you?”

I replied, “I can do any day but Tuesdays”

HEALTH CLUB WARNING

I joined a health club last year

It cost two hundred pounds so quite dear

I haven’t lost a single pound

So as an investment not very sound

But it wasn’t their fault to be fare

Because apparently you have to go there