ARE YOU WEARING EXTENSIONS?

 

Are you wearing extensions?

Well I hesitate to mention

The extensions to your hair

Don’t really attach down there

BUYING A COMB FOR A BALD MAN

 

Buying a comb for a bald man

Is clearly the act of a misfit

It’s the unkindest gift of all

Which he’ll never part with it

HE GASPED AS HER HAIR CASCADED DOWN

 

Her hair cascaded down

And he gasped at the sight

But then it was winter,

So not waxing was alright

MUM ALWAYS WASHED MY HAIR IN AUSSIE BEER

 

Mum always washed my hair in Aussie beer

And at the time I wasn’t bothered

It wasn't until many years later I discovered

That I had in fact been Fostered

ARE YOU WEARING A HAIR PIECE?

 

Are you wearing a hair piece?

Well, that shouldn’t be a gobsmack

The wig is a shade of brown

And your own hair is jet black

HAIR OF HENNA

 

Hair of Henna

Falls untamed

Over pale flesh

Stark in contrast

Like a crimson rose

Against bridal white

HAIR OF GREY

 

Hair of grey

Falls untamed

Over blemished skin

In perfect complement

To graceful aging

And timeless beauty

HAIR OF AUBURN

 

Hair of Auburn

Falls untamed

Over pale flesh

Stark in contrast

Like a crimson rose

Against bridal white

HAIR OF TITIAN

 

Hair of Titian

Tumbles unchecked

Falling untamed

Over pale flesh

Like autumn leaves

Stark in contrast

Like blood drops

On a fall of snow

HAIR OF MAHOGANY

 

Hair of Mahogany

Tumbles unchecked

Over freckled skin

In perfect complement

Like forest fronds

In a dappled glade

HAIR OF CHESTNUT

 

Hair of Chestnut

Tumbles unchecked

Over freckled skin

In perfect complement

Like forest fronds

In a dappled glade

HAIR OF JET

 

Hair of jet

Falls untamed

Over alabaster skin

Stark in contrast

Like a ravens wing

Against fresh snow

HAIR OF AMBER

 

  

Hair of Amber

Falls in curls

Over golden skin

In perfect complement

Like ripened corn

In a summer field

ARE YOU WEARING A BARRETTE?

 

Are you wearing a barrette?

I can see something shining there

Holding your tresses from your face

Silver in your brunette hair

ARE YOU WEARING YOUR HAIR DIFFERENTLY?

 

Are you wearing your hair differently?

It’s definitely some kind of reworking

No, you’re not wearing your hair differently

I can clearly see now that it’s a merkin

ARE YOU WEARING A RED WIG?

Are you wearing a red wig?

I know you’re not a natural Redhead

So, if that’s not an ill-fitting wig

It’s a very bad dye-job instead 

ARE YOU WEARING A FRINGE?

 

Are you wearing a fringe?

I’m sorry it made me cringe

But I have a bit of an aversion

To that Winkleman person

ARE YOU WEARING DREADLOCKS?

Are you wearing dreadlocks?

On you they don’t look right

Firstly, you’re not Jamaican

And secondly, you’re white 

ARE YOU WEARING A BUN?

 

Are you wearing a bun?

That will cause some chat

It’s just a bit old fashioned

But there’s nothing wrong in that

The biggest problem you have

Is it makes your face look fat

ARE YOU WEARING A BOB?

 

Are you wearing your hair in a bob?

I think they’ve done a good job

It makes you look like a flapper

No, I didn’t say you were a slapper

From the roaring twenties, a party girl

No, I didn’t say you were a tarty girl

Instead of having your hair cut short

In order to prevent any auditory, distort

And to stop you miss hearing things

You should have had your ears syringed