THE CORRECT SOLUTION

 

I was caught stealing Tippex

You know, the liquid correction solution

Well, my employer pressed charges

And I was sent to a correctional institution

HELP LINE # 3

 

I phoned the incontinence help line today

To say “I’m Mrs. Brown, can you help me pray”

In the hope of having my condition assuaged

But try as I might it was always engaged

THE LOUD MINORITY

 

People today are so self-obsessed

So wrapped up in themselves

Banging on about THEIR rights

THEIR civil liberties THEIR freedoms

They have forgotten about the people

Who fought and died to win them

THE PERILS OF FAST FOOD

 

Why did the hapless Wile E. Coyote

In pursuit of his nemesis, Roadrunner

Spend a fortune on ACME products

Every all singing, all dancing, must have winner

If he had all that money to burn

He could just have paid for his dinner

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 50

 

Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John,

Went to bed with his trousers on;

One shoe off, and one shoe on,

He was completely shit faced my son John!

STUDENT PROTESTS # 4

“It’s only right that the state should pay”

“It’s society that benefits” you will hear them say

The overburdened taxpayer has other ideas

The student’s plight is the least of his fears

“It’s them who benefit at the end of the day

So why on earth shouldn’t they pay their way?”

“It’s just so unfair to students who are poor”

Say the students doing medicine and law

It’s hard to sympathise when you hear that

When it’s coming from the mouth of a spoilt brat 

SEX EDUCATION 101

Peaches told her mother when she got home

Tommy showed me his willy at school today

The mother in shocked silence heard her continue

“It reminded me of a peanut in a way”

 

The mother relaxed a little with this addition

As it was not the answer for which she was braced

“Is that because it was really, really small”?

Peaches replied, “No because it had a salty taste”