APPARENTLY NIGERIA IS NOW POLO FREE

 

Apparently, Nigeria is now polo free

So that’s deserves congratulations

But to be honest I didn’t think

They were one of the equestrian nations

GLORY OF THE DAWN

Oh to awake at dawn

Awaking with the horn

To sport a morning glory

Was highly satisfactory

A magnificent early riser

With which to surprise her

But alas that was in my youth

And to tell the honest truth

Now my poor dormant muscle

Can barely raise a chuckle 

THE EXORCIST

 

There is a ghost in my house

A poltergeist in nature

And I am determined to see

Its imminent departure

 

I have secured the services

Of an expert of eminence

An exorcist of renown

To un-haunt my residence

 

He is not a cheap solution

To my poltergeist problem

But the spirit has to go

Before I end up in an asylum

 

But the price must be met

This was sternly stressed

For if I default on the fee

The house will be repossessed

THE CALL OF THE WILD

 

Not pampered or preened

Nor sculptured or shaped

Not tidied or groomed

Nor shaven or scraped

For neat and manicured

Well, nothing could be fouler

For we like it as nature intended

An untamed hairy growler

No French landing strips

Or Brazilian styled

Just wild and untamed bush

Because we like our beaver wild

THE ABSENT MINDED OCTOGENARIAN

 

An octogenarian visited his doctor

“I think I'm getting senile” he said

The doctor replied “I don’t think you are senile

Let’s look for a different diagnosis instead”

“But I keep forgetting to do up my fly”

The old man said “After I’ve been for a pee”

The doctor smiled and then replied

“Not opening your fly before you start, that’s senility”

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 40

 

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick

Jack jumped over the candlestick

But Jack should have jumped higher

Because he’s set his balls on fire

A GULF OF DIFFERENCE

 

I must say I like President Obama

He does his job with great aplomb

But admitting defeat in the gulf

Is a step to which he might have to succumb

For what he faces in the Gulf of Mexico

Is a problem that America can’t bomb