BUSH CRAFT

 

I took an evening class in Bush Craft

But they used some peculiar things

For example a sharp blade, a mirror

Some wax and assorted sequins

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

 

Don’t talk to me about

Fifty shades of grey

I’m at the care home

Vagazaling grannies everyday

VAGAZZLING

 

Vagazzling is a really bizarre

Thing to do to your bits, ok

Because the only men that

Find it attractive will be gay

THE CALL OF THE WILD

 

Not pampered or preened

Nor sculptured or shaped

Not tidied or groomed

Nor shaven or scraped

For neat and manicured

Well, nothing could be fouler

For we like it as nature intended

An untamed hairy growler

No French landing strips

Or Brazilian styled

Just wild and untamed bush

Because we like our beaver wild