IF THE ADVICE FOR A MAN WHO HAS LOST

 

If the advice for a man who has lost

Interest in sex is to see a doctor

What would the advice be if

The sufferer is actually a doctor?

DOLPHINS SUFFER FROM ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION

 

Dolphins suffer from Erectile Dysfunction

And their sex life has come a cropper

Not much is known about their condition

But they’ve gone from Flipper to Flopper

ARE YOU WEARING A CONDOM?

 

Are you wearing a condom?

At your age you really have no hope

Sex at ninety-six will be like

Trying to shoot pool with a rope

DEFLATED

 

I used to rise at dawn

And marvel at my erection

Such a thing of beauty

So wonderful in its perfection

But those days are behind me

Its flaccid now upon inspection

And to raise it from its flaccidity

I must consume some blue confection

And thus perform a miracle rising

Akin to the resurrection

GLORY OF THE DAWN

Oh to awake at dawn

Awaking with the horn

To sport a morning glory

Was highly satisfactory

A magnificent early riser

With which to surprise her

But alas that was in my youth

And to tell the honest truth

Now my poor dormant muscle

Can barely raise a chuckle 

EARLY ARRIVAL

 

At premature ejaculators anonymous

I sat all alone in the meeting room

And I pondered my solitary situation

And concluded that I just came too soon