There is a ghost in my house
A poltergeist in
nature
And I am determined to
see
Its imminent departure
I have secured the
services
Of an expert of eminence
An exorcist of renown
To un-haunt my
residence
He is not a cheap
solution
To my poltergeist
problem
But the spirit has to
go
Before I end up in an
asylum
But the price must be
met
This was sternly
stressed
For if I default on the
fee
The house will be
repossessed
Not pampered or preened
Nor sculptured or
shaped
Not tidied or groomed
Nor shaven or scraped
For neat and manicured
Well, nothing could be
fouler
For we like it as
nature intended
An untamed hairy
growler
No French landing
strips
Or Brazilian styled
Just wild and untamed
bush
Because we like our
beaver wild
An octogenarian visited his doctor
“I think I'm getting
senile” he said
The doctor replied “I
don’t think you are senile
Let’s look for a
different diagnosis instead”
“But I keep forgetting
to do up my fly”
The old man said
“After I’ve been for a pee”
The doctor smiled and
then replied
“Not opening your fly
before you start, that’s senility”
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack jumped over the candlestick
But Jack should have jumped higher
Because he’s set his
balls on fire
I must say I like President Obama
He does his job with
great aplomb
But admitting defeat
in the gulf
Is a step to which he
might have to succumb
For what he faces in
the Gulf of Mexico
Is a problem that
America can’t bomb
Tuesday’s girl
Gracefully elegant
Slender and lithe
In form and movement
Struts the catwalk
For an outrageous
payment
Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
“What would I have to do” he may ask
“For you to go out
with me?”
Just reply to him
“Shed 60 pounds really”
