TIMES ARE BAD AND GETTING WORSE

 

Times are bad and getting worse

And I’m shocked at the severity

As the light at the end of the tunnel

Has been turned off due to austerity

AMIDST THE TERRIBLE TRAGEDY SADIQ

 

Amidst the terrible tragedy

Sadiq smiled, to his eternal shame

But the reason for that was

That he had found someone to blame

AFTER ALMOST FIFTY YEARS OF LABOUR

 

After almost fifty years of labour

I have failed to get ahead even a bit

Because I started out with nothing,

And I find that I still have most of it

SADIQ KHAN, PHOTO OP BOY

 

For little Sadiq, appearing big

Is the name of the game

So, if its bad news, photo op boy

Is on scene to apportion blame,

If it’s good he’s there, so that

All the praise is his to claim

NICOLA STURGEON, THE SCOTTISH FIRST MINISTER

 

Nicola Sturgeon, the Scottish First Minister

Says she want’s independence from Westminster

But it’s illogical, she’s just flexing her muscles

As Scotland will become dependent on Brussels

THERE’S BEEN A LOT OF TALK LATELY

 

There’s been a lot of talk lately

In the media about blue on blue

But it shouldn’t be a surprise

Because that’s Smurf porn for you

IF LAWYERS CAN BE DISBARRED # 1

 

If Lawyers can be disbarred

then will fishermen be debated?

Will magicians be disillusioned?

And politicians denominated?

CORBYN!

 

Corbyn! Leading the labour party

They couldn’t have got it wronger

I wouldn’t have voted for him

To lead the conference party conga

I VISITED NIGEL FARAGE’S GARDEN

 

I visited Nigel Farage’s garden

Well, it was hardly National Trust

The patch of lawn was really shit

But the borders were very robust

WASP IS AN ACRONYM

 

WASP is an acronym for

"White Anglo-Saxon Protestant"

The target demographic for UKIP

And Nigel Farage has their scent

ARE YOU WEARING ELFISH EARS?

 

Are you wearing elfish ears?

It’s a very interesting feature

Though more appropriate

On a woodland creature

And not really suitable

For one in your position

You are let me remind you

The leader of the opposition

I REALLY ENJOYED OUR DATE

 

I really enjoyed our date

I’m so glad that you rang

It was a brilliant Guy Fawkes

Night that ended with a bang

REMEMBER, REMEMBER THE FIFTH OF NOVEMBER

 

Remember, remember the fifth of November

Gunpowder, treason, and plot

For that was the day Guy Fawkes failed

To blow up the bloody lot

ARE YOU WEARING A GUY FAWKES MASK?

 

Are you wearing a Guy Fawkes mask?

Hoping to get coins in your cap

“Penny for the guy” is that the aim?

Well, you’re losing out to that wino chap

MY BONFIRE NIGHT CRACKER

 

My Bonfire night cracker

Always good for a thrill

My favourite little sparkler

I like to call “Catherine will”

BANGERS AND SPARKLERS

 

Bangers and sparklers

Weren’t the fireworks

At the Bonfire night party

But the girls I invited

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 130

 

Remember, remember the fifth of November

Gunpowder, treason, and plot.

They had the right approach back then

Blow up  the bloody lot

IT PROVIDES FAR MORE PROBLEMS

 

It provides far more problems

Than any solutions it brings

For communism doesn't work

As people like to own things

GEORGE WASHINGTON CHOPPED DOWN

 

George Washington chopped down

His father's favourite cherry tree,

Then George admitted doing it

He was rewarded for his honesty

When his father didn't punish him

Well, those are the accepted facts

But I think we should consider

That George was still holding the ax

PARLIAMENT ENACT THE LAWS

 

Parliament enacts the Laws

To legislate our behaviour

Police officers patrol the streets

To enforce the law

Then the court system shows us

The error of our ways

Well, that’s the theory anyway

Politicians call the tunes

And the police cherry pick

The laws that they enforce

And the crown prosecution service

Take only the cases they can win

Or that make them look good

And all three elements

Play to the media