It happens every Halloween when
Enthusiastic revellers
frequent
Accident and
Emergency, where
Clinicians call it
trick or treatment
It happens every Halloween when
Enthusiastic revellers
frequent
Accident and
Emergency, where
Clinicians call it
trick or treatment
I don’t believe in spooks and demons
I think that should be
understood
But there are always
more trick-or-treaters
Than there are kids in
the neighborhood
Halloween is one of the very few
Acceptable times to
wear body glitter
When you have a
reasonable expectation
Of not being mistaken
for a stripper
My future wife was dressed like a tart
When we first met on
Elm Street
And she said very
provocatively
“I'll be your trick if
you'll be my treat”
Thank goodness for Halloween,
I can say that without
hesitation
Because the cobwebs
have suddenly
Become Halloween
decorations
I met a girl on Halloween,
Wearing blood suckers
attire
But alas she wasn’t
costumed
If vampires can’t see
Their own reflection
In a mirror, either
flat
Convex or concave
Then the thing that I
Have always wondered
is
How do they manage?
When they have to
shave?
We found a brilliant builder
His workmanship is out of sight
The only snag is he’s Transylvanian
So, he can only work at night
Are you wearing Halloween slippers?
They look very cute it must be said
But I think they’d look much cuter
If I was to see them under my bed
Halloween is just an excuse
For girls to dress
inappropriately
And that’s why
Halloween
Is the best holiday
for me
My friend asked me
What I was going to be
For Halloween
I said “Drunk will do
me”
If vampires can’t see
Their own reflection
In a mirror or
anything else
That’s shiny
Then the thing I
Have always wondered
is
How do they manage?
To keep their hair
tidy?
I am being haunted by
A dancing ghostly
vision
Who really has the
moves
So I call him Boogie
Man
Why couldn't the witch have children?
It wasn’t just because
she was a meanie
The answer is far more
fundamental
Because her husband
had a hallow weenie
The Grim Reaper came for me last night
And I could barely catch my breath
But I beat him away with a vacuum cleaner
And was really Dyson with death.
We found a brilliant builder
His workmanship is out
of sight
The only snag is he’s
Transylvanian
So he can only work at
night
Are you wearing bloody clothes?
I don’t mind admitting
that you look scary
I hope it’s a
Halloween costume and you
I pretend to be someone I’m not
Just to receive
something sweet
Which could be for
Valentine’s Day
Or just for a
Halloween treat
The lesson that Halloween teaches
Us all, Might well
strike a chord
It’s pretending to be
something you're not
Which will lead to a
sweet reward
I wonder if Halloween is the only
Day of the year that
the goths
Dress colourfully like
butterflies
Instead of the normal
drab moths
For my friends and I, Halloween is a contest
And I go all out to beat
them all
This year I dressed my
dog up as a cat
But now he won’t come
when I call
I pretend to be someone I’m not
Just to receive
something sweet
Which could be for
Halloween
Or for a Valentine’s
Day treat
A stressed-out mother and her child
Went
into the fancy dress shop
Rushing
around from pillar to post
Without
a moments pause or stop
“Here
try this one” the mother said
Grabbing
a Devils suit in a whirl
Her
six year old daughter retorted
“I
don’t want it, I’m not an evil girl”
Damien Duck was dressed up
For the Halloween
extravaganza
And went to the
Halloween party
As Vampire Count
Quackula
Once I saw a vampire,
Dressed in familiar attire
My instinct was to run
But he looked quite
done
As he was old and
tired
So, I assumed he was
retired
And was sure it was
safe
So, I waved to the
Vampire
Are you wearing Halloween spats?
Well, I don’t like them much
But I have to admit that the spatter
Of blood is a very nice touch
After Elon Musk bought Twitter
The repercussions were
hard to Equate
And is a long running
scandal
That’s come to be
known as Elongate
People who build flat pack furniture
Are Superheroes,
that’s for certain sure
Well, thats my
opinion, albeit humble
Things are built when
Avengers assemble
In Herges adventures, Our hero
TINTIN, was a great investigator.
But travel was always a problem,
As he set off the metal detectors
Over excited Tigger bounced around
Piglet, Eeyore, Kanga,
Roo, and Rabbit
In Hundred Acre Wood,
but Tigger
Was so bouncy because of his cocaine habit
The classic story of the Three Bears
Is quite obviously a load of bollocks
Arguing about eating bowls of porridge
When they could have eaten Goldilocks
As remarkable historical figures go
Karl Marx is certainly
a notable one
But less famous is his
sister, Onya
The bribing of guides on Everest
Is something of a scandal
As it appears there has been
We had such a lousy day
At the theme park,
In fact, it was a disaster
So, we bought the photo
Of a different family
As they rode the rollercoaster
Mary wore a little skirt
With a split right up the back
And everywhere Mary went
She really took some flak
It is a little-known fact, that before
They discovered the crowbar
It was necessary for the crows
To go to the woods to have a jar
I once got thrown out of Bird World
It was the first expulsion I’d had
And it was for making a parrot giggle
It was polly tickle correctness gone mad
There were no eggs
At all today at Lidl’s
As all the hens now
Mary wore a little skirt
With a split right up the front
And everywhere Mary went
The view caused an affront
My ducks are most definitely not in a row
The whereabouts of some of them I do not know
And I’m almost certain one of them is a crow
The old chicken stopped laying eggs
And when investigating the cause
The local vet soon discovered that she
Was going through the henopause
I decided to do an evening class
And I chose the Carpenters one
We haven’t made anything yet
Because “We’ve only just begun”
Mary wore a little skirt
With splits right up the sides
And everywhere Mary went
Boys could feast their eyes
I was ready, without a doubt
Ready for the one
I was set on the start
line
Heart beating at the
run
Then bang!
Went loves starting
gun
“She’s ticking all the boxes”
I thought to myself
When I first laid eyes
on her
But of course she
wasn’t perfect
That would have been a
claim too far
Then when we spoke, at
length
More boxes were
checked
But again she fell
short of the summit
But then who wants
perfection
Which is in reality
subjective
I have met girls in my
life
Slightly more than
ordinary
But thought themselves
perfect
And others nearly
perfect
And thought themselves
ordinary
This girl was as close
to it
As I had ever come
Or wanted to come
For if she was to be
flawless
That would be
unnatural
As well as undesirable
For it’s in the
imperfections
Where character lies
Oh wind of love,
Blow my way
Have influence over me
Like the moon does the
tides
Bring music into the
silence
And shine your light
Into every darkened
corner
And fill my world with
love
You bring me rainbows
Of an April morning
You bring me the
laughter
Of a hundred happy
children
You bring me the azure
blue
Of a summer sky
You bring me the
scented meadows
Of a summer day
You bring me the
moonlight
Of a star bright night
You bring me the
wonders
Of the modern age
But most of all you
bring me
A love that I have
never known
Finally, I found someone to love
Someone caring and
nice
Someone who loves me
But it was over in a
trice
For I was complacent
And so paid the
ultimate price
Sending signals
And reading
The replies
A look or gesture
That holds a message
To be relayed
Is as ancient
As hieroglyphs
And as difficult
To translate
The words flowed
like spring melt
Rushing to fill
Every stream of reason
Every rivulet of love
With bitter bile
I fell for you
Like a stone
And I am in heaven
I’m walking on air
As I imagine
Your arms around me
And if you fall for me
You’ll leave me
breathless
I look back fondly
Across the years
On that brief affair
So glorious, yet
All too brief
Like a perfect summer
That left its mark
Forever on my heart
My sweet words of love
Were wasted on her it
appears
Because all I got in
return
Was the bitter sting
of tears
She was my compass
And my anchor
She steered me
And held me
She gave me direction
And stability
Without her I am
Lost at sea
And rudderless
Her beauty was like the Spring
A smile as warm as
Summer sun
Tempestuous like an
Autumn gale
And as refreshing as a
Winters day
I will sail Around the Cape of Good Hope
where the two great oceans meet
I will follow you to
the ends of the earth
Because you’re the only one for me
My love for her
Is resolutely strong
She lifts my heart
Like the sweet song
Of woodland birds
In chorused throng
She was beautiful
Like a Constable
landscape
And she painted love
Into my dreary world
Each brushstroke
Changing me forever
She was so elegant
And light of step
As if on Angels wings
She was swept
From heavens high
Into my arms
To bless my life
With her charms
I spoke the words
Though they came hard
But I could see each
syllable
Cut her like a blade
Each word was a stab
at her heart
The final sentence the
coup de grace
A pregnant pause
followed
She looked stunned
Bemused by my speech
Then the tears came
But I had no words of
comfort
It hurt me to know
That I had hurt her
But I couldn’t live
another minute
In a loveless void
He kissed life into her,
Like a prince of old
Dispelling everlasting
slumber
In a Fairy story often
told
When Sleeping Beauty
Woke from her trance
To gaze into the eyes
of love
And then forever dance
Soft kisses, planted
Like whispers
On expectant lips
Then a smile of
coyness
And a blush
Your serpent hips
And slender limbs
The glow and lustre
On your skin
In the half light
Of the afterglow
Beyond the bliss
And read the smile
On each other’s lips
Is she not a mirage?
Born in my arid heart
To confuse my senses
Conjured from my
dreams
To give false hope
This wild imagining
Is so cruelly meant
For someone so
unworthy
How could she be real?
I finally found the one
The one for whom I’d
yearned
And everything was
going well
Until my fortunes
turned
When the joy became
sorrow
And I suddenly got
burned
A love so strong
With depth and tone
Shared by two souls,
Kindred spirits of the
heart
Enough love to last
Three lifetimes
So why would such a
love,
Such loving feelings,
Not only fade,
But turn to retched
hate
You were my one and only
You were the sun in my
sky
Now light has been
banished
And I must in the
darkness cry
The red sunset is for lovers
Who sigh with lovesick
bliss
And in the glow of a
blood red sky
The lovers stand and
kiss
Your embrace is like a velvet cloak
Enveloping me in love
As you speak to my
soul
And burn into my heart
a perfect love
A keep-sake
That speaks of love
A handkerchief
Bearing a lipstick
kiss
A rose dried and
pressed
Within a weighty tome
A missive couched
In terms of love
Or a photograph
Kept beside your heart
Some people seek
A maelstrom
Or a whirlwind
A breathless passion
Of eternal desire
But for me
I just need to be
loved
A passionate desire,
Made manifest
First in a perfect
kiss
Then in a carnal
embrace
Entwined with you
In an act of bliss
My love for you
Made complete
Your kiss upon my mouth
Your breath against my
skin
Your almost palpable
touch on my heart
Towards you my love
My heart conveys me
Drawn towards your
beauty
And your healing heart
The cherished moments
Of your tender embrace
Sustain me on my
journey
Towards your open arms
Unhinged, unlocked
Old wounds reopened
A love turned to hate
The passion and desire
Now for revenge
I lived in a chasm of emptiness
A dark void of
loneliness
Cold and emotionless
Without purpose or
direction
A soulless vessel
Until that blessed
moment
When you blew into my
heart
Your divine wind
And I was full of love
You took me from a sea of cold
You breathed life into
me
Brought me back from
the dead
Gave wings to my soul
And put music into my
heart
Two castaways
Washed up together
Like flotsam and
jetsam
The floating wreckage
Of their failed loves
And from the driftwood
Of their own detritus
And broken remnants
Of previous vessels
They manage to build
A new ship of love
If you were an island
Set in a clear blue
sea
Dressed with palm
trees
Stirred by the scented
breeze
With sun soaked
beaches
Of coral white
I would be the gentle
waves
Washing over them
Like driftwood you floated into my life
As I cruised upon a
calm blue sea
Your presence stirred
the peaceful waters
And turned my outlook
squally
But though we blow
from storm to storm
I was thrown out of a clothing shop
It was one of the Muslim
outlets
All I did was to ask
if I could look
At one of their bomber
jacket
You were my one and only
My hearts song and
melody
Now music has been
banished
And I must suffer
silently
In a quiet passing time
I look back on yesterday,
and wonder why it is
That I am so lonely today
I find that I have to confess
Though she lacks
finesse
And her hair is a
complete mess
I feel I can no longer
suppress
The feelings I want to
express
For the girl in the
Red Dress
In her deep blue eyes
Blue like the ocean deep
I looked for my
reflection
But I couldn’t see it
Then all at once it
hit me
Washing over me
Like a tidal wave
And I was left
breathless,
Drowning in a sea of
love
Then your arms were
around me
And we made love
The compass of my heart
Points for all its
worth
With unwavering
certainty
To the true polar
north
It is not easily
diverted
Or drawn to any
latitude
But remains unerringly
On its northern
longitude
My dearest wife and I were
Happy for twenty years
Unfortunately we met
then
I first met Andrea
Beneath a stone grey
sky
In the barren frost
covered fields
Where the raspberry
canes would grow
Her cheeks were as red
As the expectant fruit
And hair the shade of
chestnut wood
Breath plumed as she
spoke
And her nose dripped
in the cold
Laughter followed her
And her lips always
bore a smile
As we toiled in the
canes
All day long with
knife and twine
And I fell in love
with the girl
Whose hair was
chestnut brown
Amongst the raspberry
canes of autumn
I’ve got an ad in the “lonely hearts”
“Wife wanted” is how
it starts
I’ve had loads of
replies, which is fine
But they all say “You
can have mine”
Oh sweet heart
I yearned for you,
until
That first moment
Of that exquisite
thrill
Oh sweet heart
I yearned for you
When you left me
Lonely and blue
Oh sweet heart
I can’t take this
bitter pill
I yearned for you
I yearn for you still
With a heart full to the brim
With love and passion
I promised her this
She would forever
occupy my heart
And possess my very
soul
In order to be secure
I have to be sure
That our love will
last
And expectations
passed
Before I can agree
To give everything of
me
Where are you now
My brown eyed frau
It breaks my heart
Now that we’re apart
Sugar sweet brunette
My dearest Margaret
Wherever you might be
Come back to me
A “special” word for a “special” girl
Modesty prevents you
saying its true
But if the word
“special” didn’t exist
It would have to be
invented just for you
I don’t understand even though
I wear my heart on my
sleeve
When I plight my troth
You find it so
difficult to believe
I have never hidden my
feelings
But I would not have
plighted
Should I, for a
moment, thought
Oh for a sight of your smile
Soothing as chamomile
To ease away my frown
Picking me up when I’m
down
When I first laid eyes on her
It was with music in
my heart
And poetry in my soul
It was she who
possessed the love
Which she brought into
my life
A love she generously
shared
And then I fell in
love with her
She was always more to me
Than just a wonderful
wife
She was quite simply
The rhyme and hue of
life
We had separate holidays,
Because we thought
Absence would make
The heart grow fonder
But when we returned
To our home afterwards
We both wished
We’d stayed away for
longer
If loneliness is your fear
There’s no need to
shed a tear
For the solution is
clear
Just find a love
sincere
Someone to hold dear
And watch sadness
disappear
The love that dare not
Speak its name
For fear of bringing
Upon them, shame
Denial of their love
Would be a cruel
betrayal
For inside they knew
It was perpetual
Try as the families
might
It would not be swept
Beneath a convenient
carpet
Their bond was kept
And when they were
safe
Behind a closed door
Their love was
expressed
As true lovers adore
You view love as a snare
Of ordinary everyday
life
And won’t be trapped
into
The ritual taking of a
wife
But who will support
and
Comfort in times of
strife
If you don’t open your
heart
To the simple joys of
life
Touched by the goddess
Our hearts surrendered
As Venus worked her
spell of love
And nothing could
break the bond
That fitted us
perfectly
Like a hand inside a
glove
So strong were the
bonds
That entwined our
hearts
And held us prisoners
of love
Only death could part
us
And I am now haunted
By the call of the
mourning Dove
We were once inseparable
Tied with the bonds of
love
But when the day
came
When bonds become
restraints
Love melted into the
ether
And the ties that bound
Turned inexorably to
dust
I loved her so much
I forgot about me
I surrendered myself
I just thought about
we
I loved her so much
I always thought about
us
But behind my back
I would have given her my world
I would have made myself into a mug
I would have done all this and more
Just to feel the
warmth of a single hug
They walked hand in hand
Through tarragon
fields
Where young lovers
dream
And reticence yields
A sylph like creature,
A breath of wind might
dispel
An elemental presence
Slight and graceful
Mercurial nymph
Spirit of nature
Beautiful young woman
A sylph like creature
I couldn’t hold you in my Coastal waters
When the Ocean tugged
at your heart
So you slipped your moorings
And floated away into
the dark
To deeper waters under
moon-lit skies
That is where your
heart resides
The sea is your only
mistress
Your blood flows in
unison with the tides
Happiness is a deck
beneath your feet
In the teeth of a gale
or the heart of a squall
While I wait for you on
dry land
Praying for the day you
make land fall
Joyous sensuality
In summers scented
garden
Under temperate sky
Lovers walk in hand
Thru summers scented
meadow
With lustful intent
His aim is deadly
When cupids arrow lets
fly
No one can escape
A girl in virgin white
An intangible essence
A trembling creature
Wantonly pure
At the nuptial altar
Bearing passions blush
Blooming on her cheeks
Belying her innocence
Her thoughts
portraying
Through lustful overtones
The girls growing want
Then without regret
A kiss preludes
Innocent stripped
away.
And a woman remains
Are you wearing a boiler suit?
Well it’s not the most
flattering wear
But it does have a
certain fascination as
I’m fascinated to know
what’s under there
There is knowledge I need to know
I used to know but I
since forgot
For example, why
doesn’t the glue
Ever get stuck to the
inside of the pot
Our love unravelled
Strand by strand
Until the splicing
That bound us together
Was undone
High above the ground
The hawks of deceit
are circling
As each bond of trust
is consumed
To leave us cast
adrift
As loves final embers
die
Like the immortal phoenix
Our mortal love
Is consumed by flame
And turned to ashes
But we are reborn
As separate birds
We were once inseparable
Soul mates incarnate
Held by an eternal
bond
As strong as tungsten
Yet soft as pure silk
I thought our union
Would last for ever
Even to the end of
eternity
But the bonds that
held us
Have disappeared
Like tears in the rain
You lie alone
So small, so fragile
Boxed like a doll
In a toy store window
Where passers by say
“It’s almost lifelike”
But you are not a doll
You are not for sale
For you are not whole
The essence that was you
Has left you empty
Like a box within a
box
You lie alone
Your angelic soul
Was borne to heaven
On the wings of a dove
I would have given her the world
I‘d have written her name in the stars.
I would have given her what was mine
And not demanded that
it be ours
Or I’d have sold my
soul to the devil
Yes I would have done
all this
I would have done all
this and more
And in return, receive
a single loving kiss
I would put you on a pedestal
and prostrate myself before you
I would worship you
like a god
I would proffer my heart
On an ornate silver platter.
For your avaricious consumption
I would give you all
my love
Unconditionally,
unrequited
And thank you for your indifference
I would cherish you in my life,
Even if you broke my heart in pieces.
I would look upon you lovingly
And gratefully receive your look of disdain
All this I would happily endure
Just to feel, for the briefest moment
The warmth of your
embrace
He carried her books home from school
All for the sake of love
They kissed on the
back row of the pictures
All for the sake of
love
They walked down the
aisle in June
All for the sake of love
they happily lived in a one bedroom flat
All for the sake of
love
They worked hard and
scrimped and saved
All for the sake of
love
They became a family
in a bigger home
All for the sake of
love
She divorced him after
five years of marriage
All for the sake of lust
Are you wearing a black body stocking?
No I can assure you my
tone is not mocking
And though the view may
be thought shocking
It will certainly
bring admirers flocking
There is knowledge I need to know
I used to know but I since
forgot
If a synchronized
swimmer drowns
Do the rest of the team
drown or not?
When the summer evening falls
The melodic
nightingale calls
This is also the
lover’s time
And the perpetrators
of crime
Then at the passing of
the night
Lovers take cover
criminals take flight
Silver moon above mountain blue
Is there another
looking at you?
Shooting star flashing
across the sky
Is there another
asking you why?
It is my love wishing
on that star
I will find you
wherever you are
I wanted her
To stay in my arms
To be my girl for ever
But her feelings for
me
Evaporated like mist
In the heat of the sun
Leaving only shadowy
memories
Of passions passed
And i am alone
Unable to cry the
tears
I just keep asking why
But in the hollow void
Of my empty heart
Only silence echo’s
Skipping stones across the blue
Sharing holiday
laughter and fun
When amidst the joyful
splashing
It hit me like a bullet
from a gun
Why was I playing childish
games?
With a girl who was built
to stun
So I looked at her and
smiled
Took her hand and
called her Hon
Then we walked
barefoot in the surf
Holding hands beneath
the sun
On a day neither of us
would forget
When our first love had begun
Love is layered,
Sedimentary
Each layer secured
By the one above
Love is not shallow
Love is deep
And does not lay
Beneath a fragile
crust
If not for you and your love
I would have no life, no existence
Beyond loneliness, if not for your love
I would have no reason to breathe
Beyond you
I have no interest
Our courtship
Makes me complete
I waste no breath
On the mundane
I breathe only for you
Beyond you
I have no interest
I see you only,
Through laughing eyes
With my tunnel vision
I have no interest
In seeing the world
I see you alone