YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN

 

You know you're getting old when you have to squint to see

And a dripping tap will cause an uncontrollable urge to pee

You regret all those times that you resisted the temptation

And you get winded playing chess, and it causes hypertension

You know you're getting old when you can’t get up unaided

And your children begin to look middle-aged and jaded

Your head keeps making promises that your body can't keep

And when you’re watching television all you do is fall asleep

You know you're getting old no matter how hard you try

It’s when you still chase women, but you can't remember why

Your knees buckle easily but your belt doesn’t anymore

And your new pacemaker keeps opening the garage door