WOMEN'S ADS

 

Some Ads in the Personals

Can be really quite deceptive.

And the reader is more often.

Required to be perceptive.

When searching these ads

For some feminine company

It’s hard to choose the perfect date.

From a list of so many

For example, if she claims

To be in a Rubenesque state

Doesn’t mean she’s an oil painting.

Just simply overweight

Beware when she claims.

To be an Open-minded person

Because open mindedness

Denotes a certain desperation.

Seeking “Friendship First”

Does not exclude any smut. 

It’s just that she wants to

Live down her reputation as a slut

If she is twee or of an

Old-fashioned disposition

Mean’s that she only does it

In the missionary position

It’s possible she’ll mention.

Her Contagious Smile maybe

But what this really means

Is she does a lot of Ecstasy

If she says that she is calm

And is emotionally secure.

Means she is either a drunk.

Or on Medication for sure

If she suggests that she

Has lived life in a sociable way.

Means she’s been passed around.

Like an hors d'oeuvres tray

If she says she’s Athletic inclined

And claims to be outgoing.

Means she is flat chested.

Loud and quite embarrassing

And if she says she’s forty-ish

And would like a romantic night.

Means she’s in her fifties.

And Looks better by candlelight.