MEN'S ADS

 

When the boot is on

The other foot it is no easier

Looking in the Men’s Ads

You’ll find them even sleazier.

Finding men in the Personals

Is a minefield to be truthful

But here are a few pointers,

Which may be thought useful

Chose a man well educated.

And knowledgeable too

You will spend a boring evening.

As he patronizes you

He may modestly claim.

To be only average looking

Meaning that from his ears

And nose there is hair sprouting.

If he says he is a sensitive man

Means he cries too readily.

And if he is very sensitive

Means he is gay, definitely.

If he likes to cuddle means

He’s insecure and very scary.

Huggable means he’s overweight.

And also, rather hairy

If he claims he is good looking

He is arrogant rather.

And if he says he’s mature

Means he’s older than your father.

A “Free Spirit” will perform.

With a variety of subjects

And “Friendship first” is fine

As long as it ends with sex.

If he claims he has an athletic bent

And is fit, physically.

Then he certainly watches

Too much sport on telly

And if he says he’s forty-ish

He’s probably fifty-three.

And if you’re only twenty-five

You’re far too old you see.

And if perhaps he claims to be

A very Open-minded lover

Means he’ll have sex.

With your sister and your mother