There was an Englishman and a Welshman
Talking to a Scotsman and an Irishman
They were all sitting down discussing
What could possibly be the fastest thing?
The Englishmen I know what it ought
It has got to be the process of thought
The Scot nodded and said in a flicker
Good try but I think blinking is quicker
The Welshman thought and said quickly
I believe it has got to be electricity
The Irishman said they don’t come near
The fastest thing is in life is Diarrhoea
I went out last night to have a curry
Drank twelve pints of beer in a hurry
I awoke in the night I felt my heart sink
Because Before I had any time to think
No time to blink or switch on the light
I had Diarrhoea in my pants last night
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