When it appears that you have succeeded
And the monster is lying dead
Do not for any reason go and check
Get the hell out of there instead
Friday, 10 March 2023
WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 2
ONE DIRECTION HAVE SPLIT UP
“One Direction” have split up
It seems nothing lasts these days
Ironically all the members
Have gone their separate ways
MY DEAR ELDERLY MOTHER
My dear elderly mother
Suffers with indigestion
Ironically her Gaviscon
Is on a repeat prescription
LAST NIGHT I WAS SHAKEN VIOLENTLY AWAKE
Last night I was shaken violently awake
So I thought it must
be an earthquake
But I soon realised as
my heart was soaring
It was just my wife
telling me I was snoring
MY FIRST EXPERIENCE OF DRINKING COFFEE
My first experience of drinking Coffee
Was when I was a kid at school
It came in a bottle and tasted foul
“Camp” it was called and wasn’t cool
THEY DO VERY ODD THINGS WITH SPUDS
They do very odd things with spuds
Nowadays some of which seem crazy
When I was young people who didn't
A LONELY FARMER DECIDED TO SEE A MOVIE
A lonely farmer decided to see a movie
And take his favourite Cockerel too
But he knew animals weren’t allowed
So he hid him down his pants, out of view
He bought a ticket, and went inside
And sat down next to two old widows
The movie started unbuttoning his fly
So the Cockerel could watch the show
And one widow whispered to the other
“The guy next to me has his thing out”
Her friend replied “Don’t be squeamish
It’s not your first nor the last no doubt,
And I’m sure you’ve seen bigger
When you’re at home watching porn”
“Well I’ve seen bigger” she agreed
“But I’ve not seen one eating my popcorn”
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