I ALWAYS LIKE TO HOLD HANDS

 

I always like to hold hands

When I go to the pictures

Which for some reason

Seems to surprise strangers

A LONELY FARMER DECIDED TO SEE A MOVIE

 

A lonely farmer decided to see a movie

And take his favourite Cockerel too

But he knew animals weren’t allowed

So he hid him down his pants, out of view

He bought a ticket, and went inside

And sat down next to two old widows

The movie started unbuttoning his fly

So the Cockerel could watch the show

And one widow whispered to the other

“The guy next to me has his thing out”

Her friend replied “Don’t be squeamish

It’s not your first nor the last no doubt,

And I’m sure you’ve seen bigger

When you’re at home watching porn”

“Well I’ve seen bigger” she agreed

“But I’ve not seen one eating my popcorn”

WE WENT TO THE LOCAL MULTIPLEX

 

We went to the local Multiplex

To watch a film called “Anticlimax”

I would have left early if I could

Although the first part was good

WE ALWAYS GO TO THE PICTURES

 

We always go to the pictures

For the end of week features

Never mind orange Wednesday

What we like is CGI Friday

ODEON

 

When I was a kid

My sister worked

At the Odeon Wood Green

And got me in for nothing

I loved the pictures

And I went everyday

It was a special place to me

Of course, it was a far cry

From its Roman namesake

With its grand architecture

And hi-brow classical

Musical performances

But it was a magical place

Where I lost myself

In the flickering shadows

Of movieland

And escaped reality

I ALWAYS LIKE TO HOLD HANDS

 

I always like to hold hands

When I go to the pictures

Which for some reason

Seems to surprise strangers

ODEON

 

When I was a kid

My sister worked

At the Odeon Wood Green

And got me in for nothing

I loved the pictures

And I went everyday

It was a special place to me

Of course it was a far cry

From its Roman namesake

With its grand architecture

And hi-brow classical

Musical performances

But it was a magical place

Where I lost myself

In the flickering shadows

Of movieland

And escaped reality

SITTING ON THE BACK ROW

 

Sitting on the back row

When the cinema’s dark inside

With your left-handed girl

Try to keep on her right side

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – AIRPORT (1970)

 

“Airport” is an action thriller disaster movie, the first of a series, screenplay by George Seaton from the Novel by Arthur Hailey and Directed by George Seaton and Henry Hathaway.

The movie revolves around the airport manager of Lincoln International Airport, near Chicago, Mel Bakersfeld (Burt Lancaster), who has to contend with a paralyzing snowstorm, environmental concerns over noise pollution, a blocked runway, schedule issues, an habitual elderly Trans Global Airlines stowaway, Ada Quonsett (Helen Hayes), manpower problems, frozen runways, equipment malfunctions and a suicide bomber, D.O. Guerrero (Van Heflin) plans to blow up a Boeing 707 airliner in flight.

A first class movie which was the for runner of the disaster movie genre, helped in no small measure by a great cast including: Dean Martin, Jean Seberg, Jacqueline Bisset, George Kennedy, Maureen Stapleton, Barry Nelson, Dana Wynter and Lloyd Nolan.

 

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE (1972)

 

“The Poseidon Adventure” is an action thriller disaster movie, screenplay by Stirling Silliphant and Wendell Mayes from the Novel by Paul Gallico and Directed by Ronald Neame.

The story takes place aboard the SS Poseidon, an aged luxury liner on her final voyage from New York City to Athens before being sent to the scrapyard.

However the new owners pressurise Captain Harrison (Leslie Nielsen) to push the Poseidon to her limits to save on the dismantling fees at their destination and as a result, on New Year's Eve, she is hit by a tidal wave which completely capsized her, so that all the internal rooms are suddenly upside down with the Passengers and crew trapped inside.

From the ensuing chaos a rebellious Priest Reverend Scott (Gene Hackman) takes a mixed band of survivors on a journey through the bowels of the ship in an attempt to survive.

The film won two Academy Awards, a Golden Globe, a BAFTA, and a Motion Picture Sound Editors Award, aided in no small way by a fine Ensemble cast including, Ernest Borgnine, Jack Albertson, Shelley Winters, Red Buttons, Carol Lynley, Roddy McDowall, Stella Stevens, Pamela Sue Martin, Arthur O'Connell and Eric Shea.

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – THE TOWERING INFERNO (1974)

 

“The Towering Inferno” is an action thriller disaster movie, screenplay by Stirling Silliphant, from the Novel by Richard Martin Stern, Thomas N. Scortia and Frank M. Robinson, and Directed by John Guillermin.

The focal point of the movie is a colossal skyscraper, designed by Architect Doug Roberts (Paul Newman), which is nearing completion when he returns from a long vacation, but ahead of the “grand opening” party he discovers that his wiring specifications have not been followed and as a result the building has been experiencing an increasing number of electrical glitches.

He raises his concerns with his father in law, Jim Duncan (William Holden) and Project Manager Simmons (Richard Chamberlain) but they are brushed aside. 

Suffice is to say that during the party a fire breaks out and quickly spreads, which threatens to destroy the tower and everyone in it.

So Michael O'Halleran (Steve McQueen), who is the chief on duty as a series of daring rescues punctuate the terror of a building too tall to have a fire successfully fought from the ground.

It’s a tense and thrilling tale with an amazing cast assembled by producer Irwin Allen, who succeed in getting McQueen and Newman to co-star, he also signed Faye Dunaway to play Newman's love interest and cast Fred Astaire, against type as a con-man, but even more astonishing than that, he lured reclusive and legendary film star Jennifer Jones out of retirement for the sympathetic role of Lisolette Mueller.

He also secured other notables which included Robert Wagner, Susan Blakely, Susan Flannery, Sheila Allen, Robert Vaughn, O.J. Simpson and Dabney Coleman.