ARE YOU WEARING TOE OF NEWT?

 

Are you wearing toe of newt?

Is it part of a witchy spell?

Is it the witchy version of GHB?

I’m so smitten I cannot tell

LOVE BITTEN HALLOWEEN

 

From the first moment

On that memorable first day

When I laid eyes on the Wiccan

All that I can say

Is that I was left as helpless

As a vampire with tooth decay

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE CLAPPED OUT

 

You know when you are clapped out

And not vital any more

When the doc tells you

To slow down instead of the law

ARE SAFARI PARKS DISCRIMINATORY?

 

Are Safari parks discriminatory?

Yes, they most certainly are

Because they make no attempt

To accommodate those without a car

THE TEMPERATURE OF SEX

 

An old man was at the doctors

“I have a question you may think silly

Well after my wife and I have sex,

I'm usually cold and chilly

But then, after the second time

I'm usually hot and sweaty"

The doc replied “Well that is strange

Let’s discuss it with Betty”

The doctor repeated the tale

And she replied with disgust

"The first time is in January

And the second is in August"

APPARENTLY OWNING A DOG

 

Apparently owning a dog

Can take ten years off you

I now have four of them

But I still look sixty-two

CANDY CRUSH

 

He is a bit of a technophobe

If I have to tell the truth

So, he thinks Candy Crush

Is a stripper from his youth