THREE CHILDREN SLIDING ON THE ICE

Three children sliding on the ice

Fell on their bottoms once or twice

Three children sliding on the ice

How they enjoyed the slippery device

Until based on health and safety advice

The caretaker ruined it in a trice

WHEN THE CHILDREN WERE YOUNG

 

When the children were young

They just gave me a headache

Now that they’re older

They are more of a heartache

GIVE A MAN A FISH

 

Give a man a fish

And you’ll feed him for a day

Teach him to use the Net

And he’ll order a takeaway

POLISH EYE TEST

 

A Polish man went to the optician

He’d not had an eye test before

The optician pointed and said

“Can you read the card on the door?”

“Read it?” the Polish guy replied

“That’s the name of my brother-in-law”

I WAS ASKED THE OTHER DAY

 

I was asked the other day

If I knew of a divine ruler

I said no but I did have

A rather sweet tape measure

NEWS FLASH

 

News flash:

Wrinkles don't hurt.

That’s the buzz

It’s knowing that

You have them

That does

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 125

 

Little Bobby Snooks was fond of his books,

And loved by his mother and father;

But the kind of books, read by Bobby Snooks,

were pornographic in nature