PODS

 

Everyone loves an iPod

A w x and y Pod

And an I say I say Pod

A meat and potato pie Pod

 

The all at sea aye aye Pod

The he made me cry Pod

And I’ve got to fly Pod

And the bye bye Pod

 

The I’m going to die Pod,

The, my mate Dai Pod

The must keep it dry Pod

And the lady Di Pod,

 

The di diddly di Pod

The one in the eye Pod

The just for a guy Pod

And the Isle of Skye Pod

 

The bridge over the river Kwai Pod

The pig in his sty Pod

The vale of Wye Pod

And the Jamiroquai Pod

 

The Geordie why eye Pod

The Scottish ocheye Pod

The end is nigh Pod

And the x-ray eye Pod

 

The I can’t tell a lie Pod

The New Zealanders kai Pod

The I spy with my little iPod

Everyone loves their iPod

A MELLOW FELLOW

 

A mellow fellow

A fellow in yellow

A fellow called Morello

Morello played the cello

Morello didn’t bellow

Morello was mellow

The fellow ate his jello

His jello was yellow

Mellow yellow jello

For a mellow fellow

LADY MARY

 

Mary, lady with the malady

The marmaladie lady

M’lady marmalade

Mary the marmaladie lady

LOST PROPERTY INQUIRY

 

“Good morning,

Is that lost property?

I have misplaced some articles

Could you possibly help me?

 

The last time I had them?

Was on a train to Waterloo

Traveling from Rowland’s Castle

I think it was the 9.22

 

The items are of particular import,

The first item was my heart,

Which has been returned,

In a state of disrepair, but it’s a start

 

Other articles include, my dignity,

My self-respect, have you seen them at all?

What about my backbone?

Or perhaps you have found my balls”

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 56

 

Little Tommy Tucker sings for his supper,

What shall we do for him? He’s a bit of a nutter

And he can’t sing a note everyone knows

So we’ll audition him on one of Simons shows

SEXUAL PREFERENCES # 4

I have a favourite type of girl,

But it’s not like I am facile

Nothing wrong with preferences

I just like my girls to be gracile

 

Sinuous and willowy

I don’t look for a pretty face

But they should have about them

Some elegance and grace

 

It takes the like of Nimble Kimble

Or the lovely Lithe Blythe

The aptly named Bendy Wendy

Or Lissom Blossom to feast my eyes 

BREATH OF WIND

 

To break wind alfresco

Seems to me such a waste

If you can feel it coming

Move inside with all haste

Stand under the air conditioning

Then everyone gets a taste