MEDICAL PRACTICE

 

I refuse to go to the local doctors,

A medical practice part of the NHS

And I know beggars can’t be choosers

But they can practice on somebody else

TAKEN AT THE FLOOD

 

As I stand by the placid waters

Watching as the evening sky glows

I ask myself the question

Why didn't Noah kill the two mosquitoes?

THE CORRECT SOLUTION

 

I was caught stealing Tippex

You know, the liquid correction solution

Well, my employer pressed charges

And I was sent to a correctional institution

HELP LINE # 3

 

I phoned the incontinence help line today

To say “I’m Mrs. Brown, can you help me pray”

In the hope of having my condition assuaged

But try as I might it was always engaged

THE LOUD MINORITY

 

People today are so self-obsessed

So wrapped up in themselves

Banging on about THEIR rights

THEIR civil liberties THEIR freedoms

They have forgotten about the people

Who fought and died to win them

THE PERILS OF FAST FOOD

 

Why did the hapless Wile E. Coyote

In pursuit of his nemesis, Roadrunner

Spend a fortune on ACME products

Every all singing, all dancing, must have winner

If he had all that money to burn

He could just have paid for his dinner

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 50

 

Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John,

Went to bed with his trousers on;

One shoe off, and one shoe on,

He was completely shit faced my son John!